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What is the funniest joke you've ever heard?

Blue eyed freak 2010/08/15 20:23:10
im just courious...
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  • sabreeezy. 2010/08/15 20:30:08
    sabreeezy.
    +2
    This boy has just taken his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
    "What? You're crazy!" she said.
    "Look, don't worry," he said. "It will be quick, I promise you."
    "Nooooooo! Someone may see us, a neighbor, anybody..."
    "At this time of the night no one will show up. Come on, sweetie, I really need it."
    "I've already said NO, and NO is final!"
    "Honey, it'll just be a really small blowie... I know you like it too."
    "NO!!! I've said NO!!!"
    Desperately, he says, "My love, don't be like that. I promise you I love you and I really need this blowjob."
    At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown and her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes she says: "Dad says, 'Dammit, give him the blowjob or I'll have to blow him but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom button so the rest of the family can get some sleep.'"


    A blind guy goes into a bar and orders a pint before offering to tell the barman a really great blonde joke.
    "I feel that I should point out" says the barman, "that I'm an ex-marine. I'm six feet tall, weight two-hundred pounds, and I'm blonde. The guy standing to your...
    This boy has just taken his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
    "What? You're crazy!" she said.
    "Look, don't worry," he said. "It will be quick, I promise you."
    "Nooooooo! Someone may see us, a neighbor, anybody..."
    "At this time of the night no one will show up. Come on, sweetie, I really need it."
    "I've already said NO, and NO is final!"
    "Honey, it'll just be a really small blowie... I know you like it too."
    "NO!!! I've said NO!!!"
    Desperately, he says, "My love, don't be like that. I promise you I love you and I really need this blowjob."
    At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown and her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes she says: "Dad says, 'Dammit, give him the blowjob or I'll have to blow him but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom button so the rest of the family can get some sleep.'"


    A blind guy goes into a bar and orders a pint before offering to tell the barman a really great blonde joke.
    "I feel that I should point out" says the barman, "that I'm an ex-marine. I'm six feet tall, weight two-hundred pounds, and I'm blonde. The guy standing to your left is a martial arts instructor. He's six foot one, weighs two-hundred and twenty pounds, and he's blonde. The guy to your right is a professional wrestler. He's six foot two, weights two-hundred and forty pounds and he's blonde too. Now are you sure you want to tell your blonde joke?"
    "Hell no," says the blind guy. "I don't want to have to explain the punch line three times."
    (more)

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  • MCRGIRLFORLIFE 2010/08/20 22:23:45
    MCRGIRLFORLIFE
    ok this is all one joke

    Q= how many elephants can u fit in a mini cuper?
    A= 4, 2 in frount 2 in back

    Q= how do you know if there is an elephant in ur frige?
    A you can see the foot prints in the butter

    Q How do you know if there are 2 elephant in ur frige?
    A you can hear them giggle when the light gos out

    A How do you know if there are 3 elephant in ur frige?
    Q you cant qite get the door shut

    Q How do you know if there are 4 elephant in ur frige?
    A theres a mini cuper out front
  • StefGob 2010/08/18 01:35:11
    StefGob
    Weeeeelll...i dont really remember any goood jokes ive heard recently but i can post a video that almost made me die laughing? does that count? :D
  • drop.dead.gorgeous 2010/08/16 01:04:09
    drop.dead.gorgeous
    why was 6 afraid of 7
    cuz 789
  • some idiot who thinks he kn... 2010/08/15 20:51:08 (edited)
    some idiot who thinks he knows everything
    Q: How many men does it take to screw a kitchen lightbulb?

    A: Who cares, let the bitch cook in the dark.
  • Sick Boy 2010/08/15 20:37:29
    Sick Boy
    +1
    A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

    When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down.

    Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.

    "It's a period,'' said the little boy.

    "Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''

    ''Damned if I know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy

    had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."
  • sabreeezy. 2010/08/15 20:30:08
    sabreeezy.
    +2
    This boy has just taken his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
    "What? You're crazy!" she said.
    "Look, don't worry," he said. "It will be quick, I promise you."
    "Nooooooo! Someone may see us, a neighbor, anybody..."
    "At this time of the night no one will show up. Come on, sweetie, I really need it."
    "I've already said NO, and NO is final!"
    "Honey, it'll just be a really small blowie... I know you like it too."
    "NO!!! I've said NO!!!"
    Desperately, he says, "My love, don't be like that. I promise you I love you and I really need this blowjob."
    At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown and her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes she says: "Dad says, 'Dammit, give him the blowjob or I'll have to blow him but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom button so the rest of the family can get some sleep.'"


    A blind guy goes into a bar and orders a pint before offering to tell the barman a really great blonde joke.
    "I feel that I should point out" says the barman, "that I'm an ex-marine. I'm six feet tall, weight two-hundred pounds, and I'm blonde. The guy standing to your...
    This boy has just taken his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
    "What? You're crazy!" she said.
    "Look, don't worry," he said. "It will be quick, I promise you."
    "Nooooooo! Someone may see us, a neighbor, anybody..."
    "At this time of the night no one will show up. Come on, sweetie, I really need it."
    "I've already said NO, and NO is final!"
    "Honey, it'll just be a really small blowie... I know you like it too."
    "NO!!! I've said NO!!!"
    Desperately, he says, "My love, don't be like that. I promise you I love you and I really need this blowjob."
    At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown and her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes she says: "Dad says, 'Dammit, give him the blowjob or I'll have to blow him but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom button so the rest of the family can get some sleep.'"


    A blind guy goes into a bar and orders a pint before offering to tell the barman a really great blonde joke.
    "I feel that I should point out" says the barman, "that I'm an ex-marine. I'm six feet tall, weight two-hundred pounds, and I'm blonde. The guy standing to your left is a martial arts instructor. He's six foot one, weighs two-hundred and twenty pounds, and he's blonde. The guy to your right is a professional wrestler. He's six foot two, weights two-hundred and forty pounds and he's blonde too. Now are you sure you want to tell your blonde joke?"
    "Hell no," says the blind guy. "I don't want to have to explain the punch line three times."
    (more)
  • Jannbana 2010/08/15 20:24:19
    Jannbana
    +2
    Two peanuts walk into a bar, one was assaulted.
  • ~br00k$~ Jannbana 2010/08/15 20:25:41
    ~br00k$~
    hehe :)

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