What do you think of my poem? Titled: "Father Why?"

by *T.O.P* ♥ MY OPPA <3 Posted 2012/04/11 03:34:58

Related Topics: Mom

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Father Why?

You disagree with mom from day to day
only as to act, as if it is okay.
To try to get the last word in
rarely truly asking us how we've been?
It's not like we want you to
due to your stinking attitude.
Father, why do I have to be so much like you?

Why can't I just control?
Control the path I'm bound to take.
Just be ahead of my miserable fate.
I try and try and try and try
but I always end up asking myself why!?

I've trained myself to be afraid.
To just, in my mind, push everything away.
Every bad thing in my life
gets pushed aside to the back.
The back of my mind, where everything's at.
I know one day I'll have to face them.
but the chances of overcoming them are slim.

For I fight with myself from day to day
and act as if it's okay.
For with myself, I try to get the last word in.
Not caring at all how I've been.
It's not like I want to know
because then the truth will show.
Father, how come I'm this way?

katt 2012/04/29 08:58:40

+1
you have such insight and can really convey your feelings with a great depth that is powerful. your words though come from sadness and pain when expressed in your poetry create a beautiful understanding of life from a soul wise far beyond her years. you could reach a lot of young people who feel as you with the way you relate.

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*T.O.P*... to katt 2012/04/29 10:54:18

+1
thanks, you really caught the whole meaning of it! :D

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P. Sturm 2012/04/18 03:31:56

+2
It is excellent. You have started to know yourself, an accomplishment most never realize.

As a hint: If you have to walk a path, don't be afraid, hold your head up and walk it with honor. If you can't overcome something bad, see if you can extract something good from it, to help yourself or others on the path.

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*T.O.P*... to P. Sturm 2012/04/18 21:31:47

thanks, and i'll definitely use your advice!! :)

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Happy_Evil_Dude 2012/04/16 20:30:36

+1
Well it's pretty dark and intense. That's what shines through more than any poetry and I think it can be polished without losing the meaning. But it's a good try! I'm not putting it down just trying to give some constructive criticism :-)

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*T.O.P*... to Happy_E... 2012/04/16 23:53:41

+1
thanks :) and i get what you're trying to say and i appreciate the advice!

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cherrys 2012/04/12 02:53:11

+1
ITS LONG AND BORING BTWS IT SUCKS

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Vitalani to cherrys 2012/04/12 03:01:59

+1

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cherrys to Vitalani 2012/04/12 03:02:46

+1
Huh

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Vitalani to cherrys 2012/04/12 03:03:10

+2
Exactly as I thought.

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*T.O.P*... to cherrys 2012/04/12 21:43:58

+1
i get the part that it's long, but boring? it's not like i was trying to write limericks. thanks for your comment anyway :)

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Andjella ObeyYMCMB 2012/04/12 00:29:55

+2
I love the rhymes and it seem to be really good poem.:)

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*T.O.P*... to Andjell... 2012/04/12 02:16:57

+1
thanks alot! :)

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Black Mohawk Man 2012/04/11 03:46:37

+1
It's like For The Love Of A Daughter!!

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*T.O.P*... to Black M... 2012/04/12 02:16:47

+1
haha, yeah! :)

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Black M... to *T.O.P*... 2012/04/12 02:19:24

+1
$))!!

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