First of all I'm so sorry. She is too young to have given consent with full knowledge. The boy is responsible. I would first of all assure her of your love. [I'm sure you have] I would contact the boy's parents. I would take her to a doctor for consultation on the prospects of her physical health [and the babies] to carry a baby nine months, have a safe delivery, and both be healthy.
I would insist the boy's parents pay the cost. You say below the boy wants her to keep the baby. I wonder what his parents will say about supporting this child for life? It is difficult. You don't say if you are a Christian but the first thing I would do is pray and ask God for His wisdom. Only He has the right answer. Meanwhile I'm praying for you, your very young daughter, the boy and his parents. The Dr as well. One last comment. You may be only 26, and have 2 daughters but you are not too old to have a grand-child.
What's done is done. Go in put your arms around her and tell her how much you love her, and the two of you have some planing to do. She knows how hurt you are, it's not about you right now it's about her. Remember how you felt? She needs help to deal with her pregnancy not a mental beating from Mom. Been there, not as a mom but a dad.
Well considering at the age of 26, I was still partying it up and not fully mature I don't see how a mother of an 11 year old who is pregnant would know what to do.
I would seek professional help ie social workers, a doctor, or someone who could really help.
sit down and talk to her
dont yell and try to make a plan *together* about what to do for the babys future
talk about the boy get some information
tell her that u love her and will follow her decision and honor that promise
wait for a while
and call her if she has her cell with her
if she ddoesn't answer leave a message(i know leaving a message for some one who's in the same house as u absurd)
make it clear that ur okay with her being pregnant
if there is a house phone near her room or in her room call that cuz the message will be taken out lound then
if this doesn't work give her a little more time
She doesn't have a cell phone and the only house phone is in the lounge room where i am sitting her room doesn't have a lock so i could go in but she throws stuff at me and i cant talk to her about my pregnancy cause that would be one of the worst pregnancy you can get
1 dont FREAK OUT
2 in a calm voice talk to your daughter
3 dont blame her or make her feel bad or say its all your fault or my fault etc
4 ask her what happened who the boy is age etc name etc
5 ask her what she wants to do are her and the boy in love do they want to get married etc what her plans are
6 talk to her about the situation and never blame or yell
7 hug her and tell her you love her
8 discusss long term plans which ever is your beliefs adoption, adoption in family member, raise the baby with your help , the morning after pill leave abortion as a last option
does that mean she didn't know her child was "menstruating". and how could the child dally with males? At 11 aren't you supposed to know where your kid is at all times/?
I do not know the details, other than what has been posted, so I will give my generic opinion on the existing information and comments... 1. what does menstruation have to do with birth control in pubescent females? 2. There is always an opportunity to be around males, it's called school 3. It could take as little as a minute to ejaculate and impregnate
I cannot, with the information provided attack the parenting. I have allowed my own 12 year old to go to sleepovers only to discover the parents were not as they initially presented themselves. (She never went back to that house again).
And to DAW, there is never a reason for and eleven year old to get married. The child could get pregnant again before the body has reached full maturation.
well then, you did everything you could, so don't berate yourself. You have two options: let the baby be adopted or keep the baby and face it: you're gonna be a new "mom". Either way, the child will be fine. It wasn't your fault. Just remember, this child might be an absolute angel.
at that age, i would be afraid to let her have a baby, but i really would not know what to do, unless it happened to me, everyone is different, god bless,
I am so sorry to hear this.. Medically speaking it is a "High Risk" pregnacy.. The charts I saw at the hospital had a range of 14-50 and the risks related to age..
oh really, that would be a hard decision, but if it was my daughter, i guess i would have to think about all the medical problems, and she will have to take care of the baby, i dont think a eleven yr old could do that,i have a granddaughter that will be eleven next month, and she is still playing with barbies,
Shouldn't happen now..she's only 4 1/2 and I can't imagine. I will either jump for joy or put a supportive fake smile on, depending on the circumstances.
I personally (not knowing your views, so apologize in advance) would seek assistance in terminating the pregnancy due to the damage it would do to my daughters life/body.
If this is counter to your views then I would have the baby placed for adoption.
Either way the existing child would take precedence over the pregnancy.
If you are not willing/able to take either of these measures then 1. prenatal care 2. pediatric care 3. family couseling 4. full cooperation with legal authorities 5. realize that you are going to raise the child while the mother grows up. 6. pursue child support.
I would insist the boy's parents pay the cost. You say below the boy wants her to keep the baby. I wonder what his parents will say about supporting this child for life? It is difficult. You don't say if you are a Christian but the first thing I would do is pray and ask God for His wisdom. Only He has the right answer. Meanwhile I'm praying for you, your very young daughter, the boy and his parents. The Dr as well. One last comment. You may be only 26, and have 2 daughters but you are not too old to have a grand-child.
I would seek professional help ie social workers, a doctor, or someone who could really help.
She has to see a doctor, all pregnant people do. She needs to have prenatal care if she is going to keep the baby.
This is a huge dilemma with difficult results especially if not handled properly.
dont yell and try to make a plan *together* about what to do for the babys future
talk about the boy get some information
tell her that u love her and will follow her decision and honor that promise
tell her bout that
even if it's thru a door
it'll calm her down a little bit more
and call her if she has her cell with her
if she ddoesn't answer leave a message(i know leaving a message for some one who's in the same house as u absurd)
make it clear that ur okay with her being pregnant
if there is a house phone near her room or in her room call that cuz the message will be taken out lound then
if this doesn't work give her a little more time
2 in a calm voice talk to your daughter
3 dont blame her or make her feel bad or say its all your fault or my fault etc
4 ask her what happened who the boy is age etc name etc
5 ask her what she wants to do are her and the boy in love do they want to get married etc what her plans are
6 talk to her about the situation and never blame or yell
7 hug her and tell her you love her
8 discusss long term plans which ever is your beliefs adoption, adoption in family member, raise the baby with your help , the morning after pill leave abortion as a last option
1. what does menstruation have to do with birth control in pubescent females?
2. There is always an opportunity to be around males, it's called school
3. It could take as little as a minute to ejaculate and impregnate
I cannot, with the information provided attack the parenting. I have allowed my own 12 year old to go to sleepovers only to discover the parents were not as they initially presented themselves. (She never went back to that house again).
And to DAW, there is never a reason for and eleven year old to get married. The child could get pregnant again before the body has reached full maturation.
I personally (not knowing your views, so apologize in advance) would seek assistance in terminating the pregnancy due to the damage it would do to my daughters life/body.
If this is counter to your views then I would have the baby placed for adoption.
Either way the existing child would take precedence over the pregnancy.
If you are not willing/able to take either of these measures then
1. prenatal care
2. pediatric care
3. family couseling
4. full cooperation with legal authorities
5. realize that you are going to raise the child while the mother grows up.
6. pursue child support.
And yes I do have a 12 year old.
(for further reading) and no, it's not about my family
http://www.kboi2.com/news/187...