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(WARNING) !!! A BIT RISKE' BUT FUNNY AS HELL

I never wear condoms... probably because my first experience
with one ended badly. I was 16 or so, and I went in to buy a
packet of condoms at the corner pharmacy. There was this
beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see
that I was new at it.

She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.


I honestly answered, 'No, this is my first time.' So she
unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her
thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.
I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the
store to see if it was empty. It was empty.


'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.


Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her
blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
'Do these excite you?' She asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck that
all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip
the condom on.


As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her
panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on', she said, 'We
don't have much time.'


So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I
could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few
minutes.


She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom
on?' she asked.


I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.


She got mad; I mean really mad... and I decided right then and
there that condoms were not for me.
You!
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  • redneck woman 2009/10/14 02:52:40
  • Johnny-O 2009/10/12 13:08:57
    Johnny-O
    +1
    YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT

    Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

    I shoulda smelled that one cummin' down BROADWAY!!!
  • Twobear... Johnny-O 2009/10/12 13:18:53
    Twobears Shunke Wakan
    I just realized the way I posted the Joke made it look like I was the one who had the experience, although my first time was probably every bit as comical, this was not my experience but a joke that was sent to me ( ooops)
  • Querent 2009/10/11 01:43:56
    Querent
    Funny. I don't believe a word of it, but it did make me laugh.

    I see where you wrote, "The book is almost done." How about telling us about the book? What's it about? How long is it? How long have you been working on it? Etc.

    By the way, I like your new photo much better than the old one.
  • Twobear... Querent 2009/10/11 01:59:47
    Twobears Shunke Wakan
    It is a book of fiction the story line deals with the first people on earth and thier experiences in meeting other tribes and learning to live among each other, it's quite long as I have been writing it on and off over the past ten years, it has a few twist and turns, many incidents of the paranormal and a bit of the alien phenom, I'll post a link when it is finished perhaps in a month or two, regarding the photo Thanks but I change it often
  • emily 2009/10/09 19:54:10
    emily
    +1
    Darn! That is why I always hated "trainees", couldn't take anything for granted!
    LOL!
  • Twobear... emily 2009/10/09 20:39:00
  • patt 2009/10/09 19:39:22
    patt
    +2
    Can you say "stupid"??

    But, hadda laugh.
  • Twobear... patt 2009/10/09 20:39:23
    Twobears Shunke Wakan
    +1
    Me Too
  • Cookielane 2009/10/09 19:37:55 (edited)
  • emily Cookielane 2009/10/09 19:56:40
    emily
    What no BK? No whopper?
  • Cookielane emily 2009/10/09 20:28:40 (edited)
    Cookielane
    +2
    that would have been funnier, wouldn't it? ;-) funnier
  • Johnny-O Cookielane 2009/10/12 13:12:38
    Johnny-O
    +1
    I dunno, I kinda like the one sponsored by 'Bounty' - that would be useful, clean up the spooge?
  • Johnny-O Cookielane 2009/10/12 13:16:51 (edited)
    Johnny-O
    +1
    The Chevy truck ought to come with a whole box of them standard.

    I just have to ask, do the condoms sponsored by M&Ms; come in the same colors? Like, brown, yellow, orange, lime green, and the infrequent reds? Or the blue ones?

    KFC wopuld be a good idea...Energizer should come with desensitizing cream...

    God, you just may have something here!
  • Cookielane Johnny-O 2009/10/12 13:46:37
    Cookielane
    +1
    You could get a patent!!
  • Joseph E. Bowker, CMSgt, US... 2009/10/09 19:07:50
    Joseph E. Bowker, CMSgt, USAF (Ret)
    +2
    Okay, pretty cute indeed.
  • Dammit Yammit 2009/10/09 18:03:49
    Dammit Yammit
    +3
    lol, lol
    Look Familiar?
  • Twobear... Dammit ... 2009/10/09 20:42:10
    Twobears Shunke Wakan
    LOL
  • Johnny-O Twobear... 2009/10/12 13:18:12
    Johnny-O
    +1
    TWO THUMBS UP!

    (Double stuff?)
  • noopinion 2009/10/09 17:34:52
    noopinion
    +3
    Dang! I just spewed my coffee.
    dang spewed coffee

About Me

Twobears Shunke Wakan

Twobears Shunke Wakan

United States

2008/02/13 23:20:04

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