Quantcast

Twas the Night Before Christmas ~~~

Twas the night before Christmas


old Santa was pissed,


He cussed out the elves


and threw down his list.




Miserable little brats,


Ungrateful little jerks.


I have a good mind


to scrap the whole works.





I’ve busted my ass


for damn near a year,


Instead of “Thanks Santa”,


What do I hear? …





The old lady bitches


cause I work late at night,


the elves want more money,


and the reindeer all fight!





Rudolph got drunk


and goosed all the maids.


Donner is pregnant, and


Vixon has AIDS!





And just when I thought


that things would get better,


The IRS,


They sent me a letter!





They say I owe taxes,


if that ain’t funny …


Who the hell ever


Sent Santa any money?





And the kids these days,


they all are the pits.


They want the impossible,


Those mean little shits!





I spent a whole year


Making wagons and sleds


with no request for them.


They want computers and robots,


They think I’m Dell!





If you think that is bad,


Picture this…


Try holding those brats


with their pants full of piss.





They pull on my nose,


they grab at my beard


and if I don’t smile,


the parents think I’m weird!





Flying through the air,


dodging the trees.


Falling down chimneys


and skinning my knees.




I’m about to quit this job,


there is just no enjoyment.


I’m going to sit on my fat ass


and collect unemployment!





There is NO Christmas this year,


so now you know the reason,


I’ve found me a blonde


and heading SOUTH for the Winter!

You!
Add Photos & Videos

Top Opinion

Sort By
  • Most Raves
  • Least Raves
  • Oldest
  • Newest
Opinions

About Me

Prairie Wind

Prairie Wind

United States

2009/08/06 20:25:43

... Shall Not Be Infringed!

View complete profile

Hot Questions on SodaHead
More Hot Questions

More Community More Originals