Twas the Night Before Christmas ~~~

Twas the night before Christmas

old Santa was pissed,

He cussed out the elves

and threw down his list.

Miserable little brats,

Ungrateful little jerks.

I have a good mind

to scrap the whole works.

I’ve busted my ass

for damn near a year,

Instead of “Thanks Santa”,

What do I hear? …

The old lady bitches

cause I work late at night,

the elves want more money,

and the reindeer all fight!

Rudolph got drunk

and goosed all the maids.

Donner is pregnant, and

Vixon has AIDS!

And just when I thought

that things would get better,

The IRS,

They sent me a letter!

They say I owe taxes,

if that ain’t funny …

Who the hell ever

Sent Santa any money?

And the kids these days,

they all are the pits.

They want the impossible,

Those mean little shits!

I spent a whole year

Making wagons and sleds

with no request for them.

They want computers and robots,

They think I’m Dell!

If you think that is bad,

Picture this…

Try holding those brats

with their pants full of piss.

They pull on my nose,

they grab at my beard

and if I don’t smile,

the parents think I’m weird!

Flying through the air,

dodging the trees.

Falling down chimneys

and skinning my knees.

I’m about to quit this job,

there is just no enjoyment.

I’m going to sit on my fat ass

and collect unemployment!

There is NO Christmas this year,

so now you know the reason,

I’ve found me a blonde

and heading SOUTH for the Winter!

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About Me

Prairie Wind

Prairie Wind

United States

2009/08/06 20:25:43

... Shall Not Be Infringed!

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