Too funny to miss

Subject:
FW: Mpumalanga Hospital (South African
govt.-run hospital() Records

Actual writings in
Mpumalanga Hospital Records.

1.
Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
2. The patient
has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood
cells at another hospital.
4. Patient's medical history has been
remarkably insignificant with only
11kgs weight gain in
the past three days.
5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her
husband states she was
very hot in bed last night.
6.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
7. On
the second day the knee was better, and on the third day
it
disappeared.
8. The patient is tearful and crying
constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.
9. The
patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993....
10.
Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
11. Healthy
appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert
but

forgetful.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and
anorexia for lunch
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER,
she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert
and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size
thyroid.

19.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
until
she got a divorce
20. I saw your
patient today, who is still under our car for
physical
therapy.
21. Both
breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. The patient
refused autopsy.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
25. Large brown stool
ambulating in the hall.

26.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other
abnormalities