Too funny NOT to share....

steven 2012/04/17 02:39:43

[From a FaceBook friend--]


Everyone should start carrying $2 bills! I'm STILL laughing!! I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public.The younger generation doesn't even know they exist!


On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat.

I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.' Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'
Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.' He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
Manager: 'No. A what?'
Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me...'
Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
Server: 'Yeah, thought so.'

He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these.

Do you have anything else?'

Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?
Server: 'I don't know.'
Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
Server: 'Yeah.'
Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'
Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'

Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'
Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
Server: 'What should I do?'
Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'
Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
Manager: 'Just tell him.'
Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.

The manager approaches me and says, 'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.'

Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
Me: 'Why not?'
Manager: 'I think you know why.'
Me: 'No really, tell me why.'
Manager 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'Excuse me?'
Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'What on earth for?'
Manager: 'Please, sir..'
Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
Me: 'No.'
Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.'
Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'
Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'
Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.'
Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'
Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'
Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager : 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
Guard: 'Yeah.'

Security Guard walks over to me and......

Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use.'
Me: 'Uh, no.'
Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
Me: 'Why?'
Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'

At this point I'm ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say, 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says,

Guard: 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'
Manager: 'It's fake.'
Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.'
Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
Guard: 'Yeah? '
Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.

Just think...

those two will be voting soon!!?!


Too late, we already have a nation full of them.

[Imagine what these people would think of the "Carter Quarter". And it's typical that you tell them an order is 'to go' and they still ask, "Is that to go?" It's the perfect type of job for them, to be asking questions like, "Do you want fries with that order?"]
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Top Opinion

  • Demonic Rat Hunter 2012/04/17 02:45:00
    Demonic Rat Hunter
    That's our younger generation functionally illiterate.
    Stupidity abounds in school

    This just might make your day a little brighter!! You, who
    worry about democrats versus republicans--relax, here is our real
    problem. In a Purdue University classroom, they were discussing the
    qualifications to be President of the United States. It was pretty
    simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35
    years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in
    on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In
    short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable
    individuals from becoming president. The class was taking it in and
    letting her rant, and not many jaws hit the floor when she wrapped
    up her argument by stating, "What makes a natural born citizen any
    more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?"
    Yep, these are the same kinds of 18-year-olds that are now
    voting in our elections! They breed and they walk among us...

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  • David (oYo) 2013/01/25 12:26:59
  • Natasha 2012/12/30 05:48:22
    ROFL :) good one :)
  • La 2012/04/19 08:09:46
  • Linda 2012/04/18 21:23:03
    I used to have a bunch of those............wish I still did.
  • Tink123 2012/04/18 19:25:26
    LMAO! Oh, this is classic! Great post! Kinda frightening actually.
  • rocat 2012/04/18 18:35:05
    and the titanic was just a movie-

    you're right...
    too funny-
  • Snowball 2012/04/18 05:28:17
    That was great- see, I knew you'd be a good SH friend! What mall was this in?
  • steven Snowball 2012/04/18 18:12:15
    Janet, I really don't know what mall, as this was from a FB friend, as I stated at the beginning of the post. But it was just so funny. I would love to see some comic put this scene in a movie.
  • Snowball steven 2012/04/18 18:43:36
    It's the modern version of "who's on first"- :)
  • sunniday Snowball 2012/04/18 19:53:31
    Hi there, I agree I would like to see a debate between M Obama & A Romney,I feel as if Ann Romney can holkd her own with any one,she's much more open than Mitt .
  • sue 2012/04/18 00:43:26
    That is funny. My husband likes to keep a stack of two dollar bills. They are irritating for sales people, because there's no slot for them in the cash drawer, and they are always unexpectee.
  • Walter Harris 2012/04/17 20:16:16
    Walter Harris
    My wife thought it was funny too. Kids are dumb these days. They thing that every thing is suppose to be given to them. Add, whats that.
  • La Walter ... 2012/04/19 08:11:29
    >kids are dumb
    >they thing
    >suppose to be

    I think you are a bit dumb >.>
  • steven La 2012/04/24 03:20:42
    And you are a bit rude for no reason. Does it make you feel smarter, bigger, more powerful to make fun of a typo?
  • La steven 2012/04/25 01:06:47
    Sure, I guess I assume I am smarter than people who can't spell. It doesn't make me "feel smarter" to inform them thus. I took issue with his generalised view that "kids are dumb". Seems a bit hypocritical to me.
  • steven La 2013/01/25 04:49:51
    You might also correct yourself, then. Dumb means unable to speak. Ignorant might apply in your case, had you not CHSOEN to be rude.
  • La steven 2013/01/25 06:29:36
    I think you'd have to be pretty stupid to not know that in today's developed English language, dumb is synonymous with stupid.
  • steven La 2013/01/30 04:06:22
    Changing the meaning of 'gay', for example, does not rob it of its original meaning. I don't accept that label of stupid for myself. I know I am not, simply for being accurate with the language.
  • Lonna121593 2012/04/17 18:23:00
    I am 18 and i have always known that two dollar bills exists. They r rare but real lol. Thats really funny. Tho im not the least bit shocked.
  • steven Lonna12... 2012/04/18 00:08:12
    Good for you, Lonna. Spread the word--don't vote if you don't know about $2 bills. Haha.
  • BoJay steven 2012/04/18 01:27:57
  • steven BoJay 2012/04/18 01:30:28
    Oops. Emotion chip malfunctioning.
  • BoJay steven 2012/04/18 01:38:05
    Hers did for sure!
  • Lonna12... steven 2012/04/18 14:33:39
    haha thanks :)
  • RogerRover 2012/04/17 16:26:32
    Now you begin to see the harvest from INTENTIONAL dumbing down process. Unionized educational output at it's finest. (and I truly mean no insult to some very, very fine and dedicated teachers, union AND non-union). Just noting an undeniable TREND.
  • steven RogerRover 2012/04/18 00:09:51
    They have to teach to the middle of the class. That means the laggers lose interest and give up. It also means the advanced students get bored and irritated and give up quite often, too. No teachers union can fix that.
  • RogerRover steven 2012/04/18 02:00:35 (edited)
    Fun post. Forgive my overtones. Now...if that was a three dollar bill?
  • steven RogerRover 2012/04/18 02:09:12
    If it were a three dollar bill with Bill Clinton on it, they would most likely never question it. Haha.
  • RogerRover steven 2012/04/18 02:25:00
    How about 3 pix? Ob, Joe & Nancy?
  • steven RogerRover 2012/04/18 18:13:54
    The Three Stooges? Sure, why not? Haha.
  • RogerRover steven 2012/04/18 19:36:31
    Offended...You insult the originals.
  • steven RogerRover 2012/04/24 03:21:33
    My apologies to them and their replacements.
  • RogerRover steven 2012/04/24 03:50:31
    Musn't tarnish their legacy. Keep on votin' in the free world.
  • HAlex1972 2012/04/17 16:07:05
    Hilarious. And I remember the Carter Quarter.
  • Einstein's Firecracker 2012/04/17 15:17:30
    Einstein's Firecracker
    I have 8 2$. Rare or not found so easily, going to keep them. Got a wheat penny yesterday, worth a penny.
  • steven Einstei... 2012/04/18 00:11:14
    Yep, pure copper. The adulterated and laminated coins today all lose value, except maybe the nickel, which has stayed the same for decades now.
  • Lorax 2012/04/17 15:13:24
    Funny stuff.
  • Karen 2012/04/17 12:20:50
    OMGosh...that's soooo funny! Thank you for the fun post!
  • steven Karen 2012/04/18 00:11:54
    You're welcome. Thanks for the feedback.
  • Brian ☮ R P ☮ 2012 ☮ 2012/04/17 11:46:16
    Brian ☮ R P ☮ 2012 ☮
    This same thing with a $2 bill has happened to me before too.

    I walked into an AutoZone a couple years back, needing a distributor cap and rotor for an older Chevy I was working on. I expected it to cost about $8 or $9, but the total rung up was $12.98. All I had was a $10 bill, and an old $5 silver certificate I had folded up in a flap in my wallet. I decided to go ahead and spend the silver certificate, since it wasn't really in graded condition anyways, and the kid behind the counter told me he couldn't accept it. Pretty much the same conversation you experienced ensued, with the addition of numerous know nothing counterpersons working there. It all ended with the police actually being called in response to me trying to pass counterfeit currency. Luckily, an older cop showed up, who knew what a silver certificate was. The stupidity of the younger generations is mind boggling.

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2016/02/06 18:51:33

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