The stock market ... beer and miles per gallon

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines
one year ago, you will have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000
of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today. If you had
purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers
one year ago, you will have $0.00 today. But, if you had purchased
$1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in
the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00.

Based
on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily and
recycle. It is called the 401-Keg. A recent study found that the average
American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that
Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means
that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you proud to be an American!