Ten Reasons Gay Marriage is Un-American

TiY ™ 2012/03/03 00:26:37
  1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
  2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
  3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
  4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
  5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
  6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
  7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
  8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
  9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
  10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
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  • JulieJewels 2012/05/12 18:48:09
    There is nothing unamerican about this article. We are who we are never mind what society thinks something should be. There isn't anything written that I know of that says gay marriage encourages people to be gay. How so ???????
    The world can adapt to anything if we let it and stop fighting things we have little or no control over.

    I have said my peace like it or not.
  • Edwin 2012/03/05 19:27:34
    There actually IS a reason that is at least somewhat valid: it is un-American because it is not legal, at least at the federal level. Of course, the same thing can be said for smoking pot, driving 5 or 10 mph over the posted limit, and not coming to a complete stop at stop signs, and those are VERY American...
  • JDLogan 2012/03/05 03:12:42
    The awesomeness of your sarcasm is astounding.
  • Aly Hart 2012/03/04 23:18:41
  • Dave 2012/03/04 07:40:47
    Excellent posting. lol
  • the warrior monk (BN- 0 ) 2012/03/04 06:51:55
    the warrior monk (BN- 0 )
    nice satire-- and it actually sounds like the reasons people give who oppose gay marriage.
  • Bibliophilic 2012/03/04 05:03:31
    gay is okay

    It's sad how in 2012 millions are condemned for forming romantic relationships with the same-sex. It's nonsensical- how is it harmful to anyone? I was brought up in a homophobic household and turned out to be lesbian- you don't know how much I long for a world where sexuality doesn't matter. It could have been worse, but it was bad enough. How is attraction to adult humans in any way unnatural?
  • Aly Hart Bibliop... 2012/03/04 23:20:08
    Aly Hart
    You know this post is sarcastic, right?
  • Bibliop... Aly Hart 2012/03/05 03:43:16 (edited)
    Yeah, I just wanted to rant and was technically agreeing with it- I already gave it a thumb's up. ;)
  • JulieJe... Bibliop... 2012/05/12 18:39:59
    It isn't unnatural to those who don't believe. For others it is easy for them to point the finger like in that article. I still believe in "Live and let live!"
    To me it is all a matter of moving along with the times. The critical people are the ones who are stuck in the past and don't want to change their thinking so you can see why they are bitter but if some folks would just be accepting of issues they really can't change everyone would get along better I think.
    Here is something and I am going to post the same thing in answer to that flimsy article.
    I have a grown daughter now who is 32 years old. She is bisexual. I didn't bring her up to choose this lifestyle and is why I really believe it is outer influences and friends that changed her as she grew up and lived life. I was a single parent when she turned 2 years old and she still had her father in her life even though we split up but no matter what she grew up with good values and just because she decided to be different didn't make me turn my back on her for it because she is still my kid. It is her life and she has to be happy so who am I to tell her she is wrong in the way she wants to live. I don't have to like it but I want what is best for her regardless.
  • Latti Ice Nerd Gangsta of P... 2012/03/04 04:15:58
  • lurx: the soda jerk 2012/03/04 04:01:32
    lurx: the soda jerk

    God bless America.
  • painted desert 2012/03/04 03:52:54
    painted desert
    Great post. Thanks
  • Ruadon 2012/03/04 03:42:14
    gay marriage and "real" marriage are like a bikini and a bra and panties set. both cover the same things but only one is allowed in public
  • wtxwoman 2012/03/04 03:29:56
    There are probably some people who agree with all of those reasons and think they sound reasonable. And, they are allowed to vote, too. He((, some of them are even in congress.
  • Alvin 2012/03/04 03:26:14
    It is really amazing how people can accept the garbage they are fed without giving it a thought. Gay unions are less a threat to this nation than religious fanaticism and political extremism
  • The Albertan 2012/03/04 03:25:43
  • JoshuaHarper 2012/03/04 03:20:14
  • Sofahead JoshuaH... 2012/03/04 17:59:24
    Here's another originally unpopular cause that overcame the odds and became accepted by several billion people over two millenia. Are you still just rooting for everyone being Jewish?
  • JoshuaH... Sofahead 2012/03/04 18:46:33
    Nope. I have never rooted for Nyone to belong to any religion. I was just saying that the reasons were completely stupid. I was also trying to mock him...
  • ETpro 2012/03/04 03:13:15
    Ha! I was crafting an angry response when I got the reason 4 and realized I was being had.
  • Unintended 2012/03/04 02:47:24
    I've seen this list before. It still makes me smile though.
  • Beccy 2012/03/04 02:43:36
    Might as well save your breath they are hell bent on changing things and it appears there is nothing we can do to stop it. God I wish we could go back to our social norms in America.
  • Sofahead Beccy 2012/03/04 18:05:11
    "God I wish we could go back to our social norms in America."
    Women staying at home or getting paid less than men for doing the same job while pressing their faces against the glass ceiling. Blacks still underpaid for their labors if not still slaves. The KKK still enjoying a good lynching with no legal reprecussions...
  • Beccy Sofahead 2012/03/04 23:57:28
    You don't think much of the same happens today. it does only it's different
  • Sofahead Beccy 2012/03/05 00:06:43
    While I have no doubt things aren't as equal as one would wish, things are better now compared to then.
  • Beccy Sofahead 2012/03/05 00:20:54
    We don't have to agree with everything. Frankly I liked being a stay at home mom
  • BeingMe<3 2012/03/04 02:41:34
  • La 2012/03/04 02:37:51
    This is excellent
  • Giantsfan 2012/03/03 23:33:56
    Excellent points, every one of them. Those points will bring a tear to a conservatives eye in a New York second. They'd be so proud.
  • The polite zombie 2012/03/03 00:36:14
    The polite zombie
    That sounds like the arguments most people use.

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