So I don't have to make a whole lot of separate responses, I'll just include a bunch in this one comment.

What do rappers put in their laundry?
Blee-otch.

Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey?
Because it made him mean.

Teacher: Buckwheat, please use the word, "dictate," in a sentence.
Buckwheat: Yet, ma'am. De udder night when Darla wuz giving Alfalfa a blow job, she sed, "Gee Alfalfa! Your dictate good!"

How can you tell when a moth farts?
It flies in a straight line.

What's the difference between shit and Christian values?
Good stuff can grow out of shit.

Why don't snakes have balls?
Because they're all to afraid to dance.

What's the national anthem of Cuba?
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"

What's the motto of the National Pancake Association?
"Fuck waffles!"

What do you call a female peacock?
A peacunt.

How can you tell if a bartender is on the rag?
Your Bloody Mary has a string in it.

What's pink and drags across the ocean floor?
Moby's dick.

How many animals live in a pair of pants?
4 at the most, but certain animals may vary.
Two calves, one ass, and depending on whether you're a woman or a man, you might have a cock, a beaver, a clam, a monkey (which can be spanked), a pussy, or a pecker.

Why didn't Helen Keller have any pets?
Because no pet wants to be named, EEEEEHHR-urmmmm-DRAAAAAAAAAAG... (This joke isn't as funny in text form.)

What do old people use for birth control?
Nudity.

What do call a guy who swims competitively in sewage?
Mark Shitz.

Why don't white trash men like blow jobs?
It invovles getting a job.

Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?
It runs through your jeans.

Mickey Mouse in divorce court
"No, your honor, I didn't say that Minnie was insane. I'm divorcing her because she's fucking Goofy."

While taking a break from work, Joe Schmo is in the mood for a drink. Unfortunately for him, the nearest bar is a gay bar. But not being a homophobe--and really craving a drink--he goes in anyway. While ordering his drink, one of the men at the bar begins to hit on him and asks him if he wants to play a game. Joe Schmo, trying not to offend this man, tells him that he's not actually gay and that he just came in here for a drink. Still, this guy won't leave Joe alone, so Joe agrees to play one round if he can finish his drink in peace afterwards.
The gay man explains the game's objective and rules.
"You'll probably like it. It's a macho game called Barroom Football. When you've got the ball, you'll have to chug your beer as quick as you can and belch, 'Touchdown!' After you do that, you drop your pants to rip a fart, and that's the extra point. I'll go first!"
So he chugs it down and burps, "Touchdown!" Afterwards, he slips his trousers down, cuts the cheese, and that's the extra point.
"Alright, I'm up, 7-0! It's your turn!"
Joe swigs it down; "Touchdown!" He then drops his pants to fart, but before he can, his opponent starts pumping him in the ass yelling, "Block the kick!"