# Redneck Engineering & Math!

**Bessie** 2012/06/21 14:46:04

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and
we challenge any so-called "smart" Yankee to take this exam:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will
support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in

(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
(B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
(C) '64 Pontiac GTO

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons
of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense
the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of
the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3
acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser's
will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field
rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The
porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many
dogs will be killed?

6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an
average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown
children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough
property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope
on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic
conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a
vehicle with a muffler?

8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take
a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western
singer?

I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't chya?
It's okay if'n yall didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya, there's a
whole heap of things that big city book-learning don't prepare ya for in
this life. As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK":

CHALLENGE", here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the

Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and
place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.

You!

### Sort By Most Raves Least Raves Oldest Newest text size Opinions

• Woman of many faces~ijm 2012/06/22 15:36:29
Going to remember that advice next time..."catch a ride home with them".

Lol!
• **Bessie** Woman o... 2012/06/22 15:47:44
It works! LOL!
• sglmom 2012/06/22 06:40:10
great piece of advice at the end too!

• **Bessie** sglmom 2012/06/22 15:32:43
It is..I've done that! LMAO!
• Elephant Lord 2012/06/22 02:56:39
wow. That's hilarious!
• **Bessie** Elephan... 2012/06/22 15:32:52
:)
• FencerCat 2012/06/22 01:42:18
LOL!!!!! Great one! I loved the piece of advice. I never would've thought of that.
• **Bessie** FencerCat 2012/06/22 15:33:02
It works! LOL!
• BUCKY-- SKYNYRD 2012/06/22 01:22:18
thanks Bessie
• **Bessie** BUCKY--... 2012/06/22 15:33:13
You're welcome BUCKY!
• Doreen 2012/06/21 22:48:11
OK, OK I guess I was not giving you people enough credit. : ) Now get your butts up here and fix me some of that wonderful spicy hot food you have. : )
• **Bessie** Doreen 2012/06/22 15:33:25
LOL!
• Lulu's Mom 2012/06/21 21:12:41
I flunked big time. I guess that I am not a good redneck!
• **Bessie** Lulu's Mom 2012/06/22 15:33:48
That's okay! :)
• Artist 2012/06/21 17:20:03
Been a while seen I heard this one...but oldies are still goodies, lol!
• **Bessie** Artist 2012/06/21 19:46:59
:)
• Clyde 2012/06/21 16:02:41
LOL, sounds like some of my relatives down on the bayou.
• **Bessie** Clyde 2012/06/21 19:46:51
:)
• Clyde **Bessie** 2012/06/22 13:00:06
Haven't heard that in a while, thanks Bessie.
• **Bessie** Clyde 2012/06/22 15:34:19 (edited)
I always liked that one! My older sister had it on a 45! :) You're welcome!
• Clyde **Bessie** 2012/06/22 15:38:32
Yea that one and the smokey and the bandit theme are two of my favs.
• **Bessie** Clyde 2012/06/22 15:48:03
Two good ones!
• Clyde **Bessie** 2012/06/22 16:09:15
• **Bessie** Clyde 2012/06/22 17:38:24
• Clyde **Bessie** 2012/06/22 17:43:32
Who knew white country singers invented rap!! LOL But they at least have real music to go with it and are good story tellers.
• **Bessie** Clyde 2012/06/22 17:56:11
Great story tellers!! :)
• Clyde **Bessie** 2012/06/22 18:08:31
Yes! ;)
• Xerxes,Phantom of PHAET 2012/06/21 15:01:10
LMAO........lived in the South off and on, this is true
• **Bessie** Xerxes,... 2012/06/21 15:07:18