Peaceful's 8 Great Reasons Why PAGAN WOMEN...DON'T GET FAT!


( I'M A Pagan Male who adores all Women, especially my Wiccan/Pagan Sisters, so Laffs are the only thing that are intended here, please ENJOY! )

1. It's hard to gain weight when you have to chase down your food and kill it with a Battle-axe, and then share it with your Tribe, all 200 of 'em!...

2. Skin, Blood and Bones, don't stay in the Human digestive tract for very long! Especially if you were so hungry, you swallowed your prey while it was still kicking!
blood bones stay human digestive tract hungry swallowed prey kicking

3. When your man says he wants to "Eat you" he might really mean it, so lots of exercise to be had runnin' for your Life!
hungry swallowed prey kicking 3 eat lots exercise runnin life

And...Still "More Reasons Why Pagan Women Don't Get

4.Most Pagan Women Practice The Five D's:- Dodging D*cks, Dikes and Daggers, Daily-will keep ANY Woman Slim and Trim and in the pink of Health!
dodging dcks dikes daggers daily-will woman slim trim pink health

5.Pagan Women know that it's healthy to eat lots of fish, but not to SMELL like lots of fish, particularly if your village is in Bear Country!
healthy eat lots fish smell lots fish village bear country
6.Pagan Woman have learned to be "Fleet Of Foot" around the Samhain Bonfire, especially after last years unfortunate "accidents" had by Silvia "The Slow", and Penelope "The Plump" (and tasty), who "fell" into the fire and suddenly joined The Feast from the Meal's perspective...
slow penelope plump tasty fire suddenly joined feast meals perspective

7.The Pagan Woman who manages to pick up a few extra pounds knows that this is "bad for her health", especially being around a hungry Tribe... so she will go visit Evil Eveline, the drunken Village Sorceress, whom she will piss off by downing a shot of whiskey in front of her, and not sharing, and get herself whacked with a "Waste away for a Year and a Day!" Spell!
sorceress piss downing shot whiskey sharing whacked waste year spell

8.When a Pagan Woman wants to burn calories by "Gettin' Some", she know that she has to soften up a man with a little pot, no silly, not weed... I mean she has to sneak up on a man and clop him a good one with her cast iron cooking pot! She can then hop on the guy and pleasure herself without worrying about some of her body parts becoming "food items"!
iron cooking pot hop guy pleasure body parts food items

Don't worry, we Pagan Men are known for our incredibly hard heads, and the act of knocking him out doesn't seem to affect his "performance" at all, as Pagan Men are well known for their Ardour,too!
worry pagan incredibly heads act knocking affect performance pagan ardourtoo

The Ardour you hit 'em, the Ardour they get! LOL!:)

Have a laugh, Precious People pagan ardourtoo ardour hit em ardour lol laugh precious people , you deserve the very best!:)

Definition of Ardour- in case it's needed:


Samhain Cooking:

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  • Beck∞♥☮♫♫♫∞ 2010/02/25 15:51:44
    LMAO!!!! peaceful....*still giggling to self here* that was wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!! I loved the 5 D's lmao!!! lol...to good! xoxoxoxoxoxo love your sugabee
  • cb 2009/10/13 14:12:51
    I just had this flash of Bertha Butt with a club chasing the Caveman!
  • peaceful cb 2009/10/13 18:34:02 (edited)
    Don't Tell GMAN! LOL! :) gman lol

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2009/03/02 20:27:38

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