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jackrorabbit 2007/06/15 18:49:31
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Trumped!

A man in Harrogate, North Yorkshire has been prosecuted
by police for farting while driving. Mr Brian Turpitz has been fined
£40 and given 3 penalty points for farting while driving on the A61
near Harrogate. Brian, 42 says "I was driving along at around 30 mph, I
had just had dinner which included a large amount of cabbage.
Naturally, I let one go, the next thing the police helicopter was
overhead and police sirens all over the place. An officer gave me a
ticket for driving without due care and attention due to the fact I'd
farted whilst driving. That guff cost me forty quid and three points. I
still don't know how they caught me, but I don't consider I'd acted
unsafely. I thought the police would have had better things to do, I
recently had a bird bath stolen and it still hasn't been recovered".

Investigations
by our crime staff reveal that the police are using hi-tech methods to
uncover the habits of flatulent drivers. Mr Turpitz's car had secretly
been fitted with electronic devices whilst he refuelled his car at a
filling station in Ripon. A listening device was placed under the seat
while a gas chromatographic nuclear magnetic resonance electrostatic
analyser was fitted in the air vents, both devices sent signals by GPS
satellite to the listening post at Menwith Hill. Police forces across
the country are expected to adopt the devices in a move to clamp down
on farting & driving. Inspector David Schonhorst is heading the new
project, according to David "Drivers will inevitably lose concentration
whilst breaking wind, drivers will end up with skid-marks both on the
road and in their pants. A recent study by the Home Office indicates
that 65% of drivers involved in accidents had farted within the
previous 3 days. We're determined to reduce this figure in the
interests of public safety".

Mr Turpitz, 39 decided to appeal
against the police. On May 20th he appeared at Harrogate magistrates,
the presiding magistrate Kevin Graf-Spee dismissed the charge and told
the police to stop being such wankers.
Add a comment above

Top Opinion

  • Hank 2007/06/15 20:32:37
    None of the above
    Hank
    +4
    "Officer, I was merely pooting, I mean putting along" !

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Opinions

  • Chazsbabe 2008/03/18 18:19:44
    At least he wasn't smoking at the same time
    Chazsbabe
    Where did u get that from? the daily sport newspaper? lol
  • jackror... Chazsbabe 2008/03/23 00:22:52
    jackrorabbit
    +1
    It was a Brit paper.
  • Chazsbabe jackror... 2008/03/23 00:31:08
    Chazsbabe
    +1
    Thought so im british I KNEW IT! must of been the sport.
  • Space Kitty 2008/01/16 04:03:56
  • Sandy 2007/07/01 15:00:16
    All of the above
    Sandy
    +1
    This is really funny!!!
  • Jess 2007/06/21 23:00:14
    What... its just natural gas.
    Jess
    +1
    You know you can do serious damage to your system if you hold it in ?!?!?!?!
  • SpecialKrazyK! 2007/06/17 12:20:18
    Did the officer actually have to do a sniff test
    SpecialKrazyK!
    ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...is this real?

    Again oh how you make me laugh..lol
  • oy 2007/06/16 20:22:42
    All of the above
    oy
    Oh my lol
  • reminder 2007/06/16 03:50:48
    Did the officer actually have to do a sniff test
    reminder
    I would demand he have more proof. My daughter sure won't be able to afford this one.
  • Betty "Jesus is Lord" 2007/06/16 03:12:46
    None of the above
    Betty   "Jesus is Lord"
    WHAT ?
  • Irene 2007/06/15 23:51:59
    Did the officer actually have to do a sniff test
    Irene
    +1
    Jack you are going to hell for this one.I can't stop laughing.
  • jax290 2007/06/15 22:34:04
    What... its just natural gas.
    jax290
    First "farding" now "farting" what's next?
  • Eric 2007/06/15 22:21:48
    None of the above
    Eric
    Where is your source? lol
  • jackror... Eric 2007/06/16 11:56:41
    jackrorabbit
    Sorry, i dont remember, I just did a silly news search on google, and found it somewhere.
  • OracleBrad 2007/06/15 22:06:40
    At least he wasn't smoking at the same time
    OracleBrad
    +1
    A serious problem to be sure. If the offender has his windows rolled up, he could lose consciousness due to oxygen deprivation and cause an accident.
  • Cat 2007/06/15 21:22:59
    None of the above
    Cat
    Again I would go to URBAN LEGENDS. COM if I had time!
  • Hank 2007/06/15 20:32:37
    None of the above
    Hank
    +4
    "Officer, I was merely pooting, I mean putting along" !
  • RIC HARD 2007/06/15 19:54:48
    None of the above
    RIC HARD
    +1
    this a joke right?
  • jackror... RIC HARD 2007/06/16 11:57:30
    jackrorabbit
    I can only hope.
  • jackrorabbit 2007/06/15 18:50:33
    All of the above
    jackrorabbit
    +1
    Sure gives new meaning to firing up the engine.

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