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More evidence Lawyers are scum! (Isn't Obama a lawyer?)

The Birdman 2012/07/07 09:03:21
Why yes Bird! Obama IS a LAWYER!!
Lawyers, Liars, scumbags, they're all the same Bird!
Aw, Bird! Don't be so hard on them! They can't help it!
You!
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A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed,
b-lines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off the counter.




The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks,
"if a dog, running unleashed, steals a piece of meat from my store, do I
have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?"




"Absolutely," the lawyer responded.



The butcher immediately shot back, "Good! You
owe me $7.99 for the roast your dog stole from me this morning."




The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a
check for $7.99. A few days later, the butcher, browsing through his mail,
finds an envelope from the lawyer.




The contents read "Consultation: $25.00."









A young lawyer was defending a wealthy
businessman in a complicated lawsuit.




Unfortunately, the evidence was against his
client, and he feared the worst.




So the lawyer asked the senior partner of the law
firm if it would be appropriate to send the judge a box of Havana cigars.




The partner was horrified. "The judge is an
honorable man," the partner exclaimed.




"If you do that, I can guarantee you will
lose the case!"




Weeks later the judge ruled in favor of the
lawyer's client.




The partner took him to lunch to congratulate him.
"Aren't you glad you didn't send those cigars to the judge?".




The partner asked. " But I did send
them,"


Replied the lawyer. "I just enclosed the
complainant's lawyer's business card!"







In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.




He approached her and asked; "Mrs.. Jones, do
you know me?"




She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.
Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big
disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher Yes, I know you."



The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to
do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.. Jones, do you know the
defense attorney?"




She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've
known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a
drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes I know
him."




The defense attorney almost died.



The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench
and in a quiet voice said:




"If either of you sons of bitches asks her if
she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair!!"
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Top Opinion

  • Heffeweizen 2012/07/07 09:09:13 (edited)
    Aw, Bird! Don't be so hard on them! They can't help it!
    Heffeweizen
    +11
    Funny stories! I actually do know a few honest lawyers, I think Obama is what's known as former lawyer. Something about losing his license for lying... I know, shocker!

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  • Barefoo... Mark In... 2012/07/08 01:17:49
    Barefooted Nana ∞ijm♥∞AFCL
    +4
    I am still not fond of them then and my lawyer knows it. :)
  • hazel Barefoo... 2012/07/08 02:18:26
    hazel
    +4
    The defense attorney is the worstest
  • Barefoo... hazel 2012/07/08 02:58:19
    Barefooted Nana ∞ijm♥∞AFCL
    +4
    I can't argue with that one.
  • The Bir... Barefoo... 2012/07/08 07:28:30
    The Birdman
    +4
    Has anyone else here noticed that not only are lawyers scumbags, but they don't have a sense of humor either?
  • Barefoo... The Bir... 2012/07/08 07:30:43
    Barefooted Nana ∞ijm♥∞AFCL
    +3
    LOL...well most don't...mine has to in order to deal with me!
  • The Bir... Barefoo... 2012/07/08 08:04:42
    The Birdman
    +1
    You got lucky! Go get a lotto ticket too!
  • hazel The Bir... 2012/07/08 10:45:13
  • The Bir... Mark In... 2012/07/08 07:27:11
    The Birdman
    +2
    Uh-oh! I think these jokes have touched someones sphincter nerve!
  • Wanderer 2012/07/07 09:22:37
    Lawyers, Liars, scumbags, they're all the same Bird!
    Wanderer
    +6
    ROTFL.!!!!!! Tres funny mate ;)
    I have grave fears for the future of humour in the twenty second century Bird.!! lol
  • The Bir... Wanderer 2012/07/07 09:36:18
    The Birdman
    +4
    No shat Sherlock! Scares the pooper on a daily basis!
  • Wanderer The Bir... 2012/07/07 09:50:09
    Wanderer
    +4
    LoL...Your mission if you choose to accept it etc: etc: etc:....... lol !
    This page will self destruct in 15 seconds.
  • The Bir... Wanderer 2012/07/07 09:58:23
  • Wanderer The Bir... 2012/07/07 10:58:00
  • The Bir... Wanderer 2012/07/07 11:11:33
  • Heffeweizen 2012/07/07 09:09:13 (edited)
    Aw, Bird! Don't be so hard on them! They can't help it!
    Heffeweizen
    +11
    Funny stories! I actually do know a few honest lawyers, I think Obama is what's known as former lawyer. Something about losing his license for lying... I know, shocker!
  • The Bir... Heffewe... 2012/07/07 09:11:37
  • Chi~Cat The Bir... 2012/07/21 01:16:50
    Chi~Cat
    +1
    Hey, you must like me?!!!!
  • The Bir... Chi~Cat 2012/07/21 05:31:08
    The Birdman
    +1
    I don't like you!! I wuv u!
  • Chi~Cat The Bir... 2012/07/22 09:48:22
    Chi~Cat
    +1
    Mega! ; )
  • Mark In... Heffewe... 2012/07/07 23:43:00
    Mark In Irvine
    he did not lose his license for lying ... in fact he did not lose his license at all. he went "inactive" voluntarily because he was not practicing law. it's always a good idea to check your facts before making a pronouncement on something about which you are ignorant.
  • Heffewe... Mark In... 2012/07/07 23:55:22
    Heffeweizen
    +7
    As long as you check yours too.
  • Oaces_b... Heffewe... 2012/07/08 07:58:31
  • The Bir... Oaces_b... 2012/07/08 08:05:20
    The Birdman
    +5
    Mark blocked you?
  • Oaces_b... The Bir... 2012/07/08 08:15:17
  • The Bir... Oaces_b... 2012/07/08 08:28:27
    The Birdman
    +5
    I just noticed he was on my friend list, not anymore!
  • Oaces_b... The Bir... 2012/07/08 08:40:40
  • The Bir... Oaces_b... 2012/07/08 08:43:08
    The Birdman
    +6
    He turned a joke post into a flag-fest on my friends, I don't need or want that among my friends! If I can't trust someone, I don't want to associate with them!
  • Oaces_b... The Bir... 2012/07/08 08:44:50
  • Chi~Cat The Bir... 2012/07/21 01:16:30
    Chi~Cat
    +1
    Right on!
  • The Bir... Chi~Cat 2012/07/21 05:32:08
    The Birdman
    +1
    Right on, left off!
  • LadyBGood Heffewe... 2012/07/08 11:54:42
    LadyBGood
    +3
    that won't happen .. all he can do is whine that obama didn't lie and lost his law license...however, he hasn't backed up his claim and can ONLY call everyone names. Typical progressive-liberal
  • Heffewe... Mark In... 2012/07/08 00:04:45
    Heffeweizen
    +8
    BTW, here's the links I'm going off. I don't bother with Snopes or Fact Check anymore since they are in the tank...
    http://polination.wordpress.c...

    http://www.dailypaul.com/2369...

    http://www.freerepublic.com/f...

    http://chasvoice.blogspot.kr/...

    ...and the links go on, generally when this many separate sources are posting the same thing, there is probably some truth to it.
  • Oaces_b... Heffewe... 2012/07/08 08:41:28
  • LadyBGood Heffewe... 2012/07/08 11:56:07
    LadyBGood
    +3
    I thought Fact Check was a good source? I woudn't trust snopes...they are obama-progressives.
  • Chi~Cat Heffewe... 2012/07/21 01:15:53
    Chi~Cat
    +2
    hehehe! Snopes sucks. Easy enough for someone from cali to understand.
  • LadyBGood Mark In... 2012/07/08 11:53:01
    LadyBGood
    +3
    check your facts and enlighten everyone as to WHY obama had to go "inactive"!
  • Mark In... Heffewe... 2012/07/07 23:48:41
    Mark In Irvine
    damn! raved in error. i intended to flag your comment as "hateful" because it is an outright lie that Obama lost his license for lying - he did not lose his license for any reason.
  • Heffewe... Mark In... 2012/07/07 23:54:29
    Heffeweizen
    +10
    Whatever floats your boat, seems to have hit a nerve.
  • Mark In... Heffewe... 2012/07/08 00:51:17
    Mark In Irvine
    it pisses me off when people say things that are not true ... Soda Head tolerates much lying about things here ...

    here is the response i posted to someone above - if you check the Illinois State Bar Association link i provide, you'll see that the Illinois State Bar mentions that it is honored to have both Obamas as honorary members ... clearly that is NOT something anyone would say about a former lawyer who lost his or her license as a result of criminal activity.

    i checked into this with the Illinois State Bar Association. you can too. i doubt that a lawyer who goes inactive has to take the test again - the thing that an inactive lawyer WILL have to do is resume paying annual dues. when a lawyer loses her license/has it taken away or gives it u because she gets in trouble with the bar, the state bar's public info identifies the lawyer as "involuntarily inactive" and says something about why or says something like "resigned with charges pending). look at this to see how California handles a lawyer who gets into trouble:

    http://members.calbar.ca.gov/...

    a lawyer who loses his license because he gets into trouble has to reapply and convince the state bar that he has learned his lesson and deserves to be reinstated.

    all that is completely different than "going involuntarily in...

    it pisses me off when people say things that are not true ... Soda Head tolerates much lying about things here ...

    here is the response i posted to someone above - if you check the Illinois State Bar Association link i provide, you'll see that the Illinois State Bar mentions that it is honored to have both Obamas as honorary members ... clearly that is NOT something anyone would say about a former lawyer who lost his or her license as a result of criminal activity.

    i checked into this with the Illinois State Bar Association. you can too. i doubt that a lawyer who goes inactive has to take the test again - the thing that an inactive lawyer WILL have to do is resume paying annual dues. when a lawyer loses her license/has it taken away or gives it u because she gets in trouble with the bar, the state bar's public info identifies the lawyer as "involuntarily inactive" and says something about why or says something like "resigned with charges pending). look at this to see how California handles a lawyer who gets into trouble:

    http://members.calbar.ca.gov/...

    a lawyer who loses his license because he gets into trouble has to reapply and convince the state bar that he has learned his lesson and deserves to be reinstated.

    all that is completely different than "going involuntarily inactive". it seems pretty clear to me that you are more interested in bad-mouthing Obama than you are interested in the truth. and calling me a liar shows that you are not a very nice person.

    take a look at this too: http://urbanlegends.about.com...
    (more)
  • The Bir... Heffewe... 2012/07/08 07:35:21
    The Birdman
    +4
    Hit it right in the sphincter nerve it seems!! Lol! Lawyers, liars, all the same!

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2013/06/20 12:23:52

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