More evidence Lawyers are scum! (Isn't Obama a lawyer?)
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A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed,
b-lines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off the counter.
The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks,
"if a dog, running unleashed, steals a piece of meat from my store, do I
have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?"
"Absolutely," the lawyer responded.
The butcher immediately shot back, "Good! You
owe me $7.99 for the roast your dog stole from me this morning."
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a
check for $7.99. A few days later, the butcher, browsing through his mail,
finds an envelope from the lawyer.
The contents read "Consultation: $25.00."
A young lawyer was defending a wealthy
businessman in a complicated lawsuit.
Unfortunately, the evidence was against his
client, and he feared the worst.
So the lawyer asked the senior partner of the law
firm if it would be appropriate to send the judge a box of Havana cigars.
The partner was horrified. "The judge is an
honorable man," the partner exclaimed.
"If you do that, I can guarantee you will
lose the case!"
Weeks later the judge ruled in favor of the
lawyer's client.
The partner took him to lunch to congratulate him.
"Aren't you glad you didn't send those cigars to the judge?".
The partner asked. " But I did send
them,"
Replied the lawyer. "I just enclosed the
complainant's lawyer's business card!"
In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.
He approached her and asked; "Mrs.. Jones, do
you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.
Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big
disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to
do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.. Jones, do you know the
defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've
known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a
drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes I know
him."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench
and in a quiet voice said:
"If either of you sons of bitches asks her if
she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair!!"
Top Opinion
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Aw, Bird! Don't be so hard on them! They can't help it!
+11Funny stories! I actually do know a few honest lawyers, I think Obama is what's known as former lawyer. Something about losing his license for lying... I know, shocker!
The Lawyers' Party By Bruce Walker
The Democrat Party has become the Lawyers Party.
Barack Obama is a lawyer. Michelle Obama is a lawyer.
Hillary Clinton is a lawyer. Bill Clinton is a lawyer.
John Edwards is a lawyer. Elizabeth Edwards was a lawyer.
Every Democrat nominee since 1984 went to law school (although Gore did not graduate).
Every Democrat vice presidential nominee since 1976, except for Lloyd Bentsen, went to law school.
Look at leaders of the Democrat Party in Congress:
Harry Reid is a lawyer. Nancy Pelosi is a lawyer.
The Republican Party is different.
President Bush is a businessman.
Vice President Cheney is a businessman.
The leaders of the Republican Revolution:
Newt Gingrich was a history professor.
Tom Delay was an exterminator. Dick Armey was an economist.
House Minority Leader Boehner was a plastic manufacturer.
The former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist is a heart surgeon.
Who was the last Republican president who was a lawyer?
Gerald Ford, who left office 31 years ago and who barely won the Republican nomination as a sitting president, running against Ronald Reagan in 1976.
The Republican Party is made up of real people doing real work, who are often the targets of lawyers.
...
The Lawyers' Party By Bruce Walker
The Democrat Party has become the Lawyers Party.
Barack Obama is a lawyer. Michelle Obama is a lawyer.
Hillary Clinton is a lawyer. Bill Clinton is a lawyer.
John Edwards is a lawyer. Elizabeth Edwards was a lawyer.
Every Democrat nominee since 1984 went to law school (although Gore did not graduate).
Every Democrat vice presidential nominee since 1976, except for Lloyd Bentsen, went to law school.
Look at leaders of the Democrat Party in Congress:
Harry Reid is a lawyer. Nancy Pelosi is a lawyer.
The Republican Party is different.
President Bush is a businessman.
Vice President Cheney is a businessman.
The leaders of the Republican Revolution:
Newt Gingrich was a history professor.
Tom Delay was an exterminator. Dick Armey was an economist.
House Minority Leader Boehner was a plastic manufacturer.
The former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist is a heart surgeon.
Who was the last Republican president who was a lawyer?
Gerald Ford, who left office 31 years ago and who barely won the Republican nomination as a sitting president, running against Ronald Reagan in 1976.
The Republican Party is made up of real people doing real work, who are often the targets of lawyers.
The Democrat Party is made up of lawyers. Democrats mock and scorn men who create wealth, like Bush and Cheney, or who heal the sick, like Frist, or who immerse themselves in history, like Gingrich. The Lawyers Party sees these sorts of people, who provide goods and services that people want, as the enemies of America .. And, so we have seen the procession of official enemies, in the eyes of the Lawyers Party, grow.
Against whom do Hillary and Obama rail?....Pharmaceutical companies, oil companies, hospitals, manufacturers, fast food restaurant chains, large retail businesses, bankers, and anyone producing anything of value in our nation. This is the natural consequence of viewing everything through the eyes of lawyers. Lawyers solve problems by successfully representing their clients, in this case the American people. Lawyers seek to have new laws passed, they seek to win lawsuits, they press appellate courts to overturn precedent, and lawyers always parse language to favor their side.
Confined to the narrow practice of law, that is fine. But it is an awful way to govern a great nation. When politicians as lawyers begin to view some Americans as clients and other Americans as opposing parties, then the role of the legal system in our life becomes all-consuming. Some Americans become adverse parties of our very government. We are not all litigants in some vast social class-action suit. We are citizens of a republic that promises us a great deal of freedom from laws, from courts, and from lawyers.
Today, we are drowning in laws; we are contorted by judicial decisions; we are driven to distraction by omnipresent lawyers in all parts of our once private lives. America has a place for laws and lawyers, but that place is modest and reasonable, not vast and unchecked. When the most important decision for our next president is whom he will appoint to the Supreme Court, the role of lawyers and the law in America is too big.
When House Democrats sue America in order to hamstring our efforts to learn what our enemies are planning to do to us, then the role of litigation in America has become crushing.
Perhaps Americans will understand that change cannot be brought to our nation by those lawyers who already largely dictate American society and business. Perhaps Americans will see that hope does not come from the mouths of lawyers but from personal dreams nourished by hard work. Perhaps Americans will embrace the truth that more lawyers with more power will only make our problems worse.
Lets hope in November that thought hits home! Thanks bro!