Welshtaff 2012/05/01 01:28:33

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'



1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7.. Drive off.


(Most of this part is really true!)

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up..
6. Attempt to insert card into machine...
7.. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8.. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt..
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside..
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24.. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone..
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release parking brake.

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  • precious_jewel 2012/05/08 14:04:24
  • cowboy 2012/05/02 13:28:52
    Yep, sounds about right!
  • Figment 2012/05/02 02:24:41
    I've never seen anyone do that, and I hope never to see it!
  • SK-pro impeachment 2012/05/01 19:56:34
    SK-pro impeachment
    I ain't sayin' a word!!
  • Elaine Magliacane 2012/05/01 12:45:19
    Elaine Magliacane
    ha ha ha ha ha I've been the IRATE female behind that woman...
  • Mrs. maggot 2012/05/01 12:28:54
    Mrs. maggot
    I've never used an ATM.....not even once!
  • ray 2012/05/01 12:06:13
    Great fun, thank you for the laugh
  • sglmom 2012/05/01 05:47:52
    I know GUYS who do #s 2-23 of the bottom choice!
  • Gregaj7 2012/05/01 05:30:11
    If I see any women actually doing the above listed for females, I'm going to find a way to get their engine shut-down and get their keys away from them, as they are NOT competent to control the car at all.
  • Ken 2012/05/01 02:04:57
    Sure sounds about right to me.
  • Phil 2012/05/01 01:37:21
    I was already laughing by 7. 23 cracked me up the hardest though! lmao

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2016/02/10 20:12:59

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