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Make Women Happy - Demerit Point System Explained So Men Can Finally Quit Sleeping On The F'N COUCH!

K-ZOOMI-----0 2011/10/09 19:57:11
WHOOHOO! -752 Points! Leaderboard! Here I Come!!!
DAMN! Sleeping On The Couch AGAIN!
She Never Listens To Me Anyway!
She Treats Her CAT Better Than Me!!!
She Wants Me To Buy A New Couch! Says Find One That Is Very Comfortable To Me. >_<
You!
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In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman
happy.



Do something she likes, and you get points.



Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.



You don't get any points for doing something she expects.



Sorry, that's the way the game is played.





Here is a guide to the points system:





SIMPLE DUTIES:



* You make the bed ....................+1




* You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0




* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1




* You leave the toilet seat up.............-5

* You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0



* When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1



* When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2



* You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5



* in the snow...............+8



* but return with beer..........-5



* and no liners....................-25



* You check out a suspicious noise at night....... 0



* You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ 0



* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5

* You pummel it with a six iron...........+10



* It's her cat.........................-40




HER BIRTHDAY:



* You take her out to dinner................ 0



* You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1



* Okay, it is a sports bar..........-2



* And it's all-you-can-eat night....-3



* It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
painted the colors of your favorite team......-10




A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS:



* Go with a pal.........................+5



* The pal is happily married............+4

* Or frighteningly single...............-7

* And he drives a Ferrari...............-10



* With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)........-15




A NIGHT OUT WITH HER:



* You take her to a movie...............+2



* You take her to a movie she likes.....+4



* You take her to a movie you hate......+6



* You take her to a movie you like......-2



* It's called Death Cop 3...............-3



* Which features Cyborgs that eat humans....-9



* You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15




YOUR PHYSIQUE:



* You develop a noticeable pot belly.............-15



* You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of
it...............................+10



* You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and
baggy Hawaiian shirts.......-30



* You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."......-800




THE BIG QUESTION (a no win question):



* She asks, "Do I look fat?"



* You hesitate in responding.....-10



* You reply, "Where?"............-35



* Any other response.............-20




COMMUNICATION:



When she wants to talk about a problem:




* You listen, displaying a concerned expression...... 0.



* You listen, for over 30 minutes....................+5.



* You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the
TV..................................+100.



* She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep....-200.

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Top Opinion

  • Philo® ~PWCM~JLA ✩ 2011/10/14 22:31:05
    She Wants Me To Buy A New Couch! Says Find One That Is Very Comfortable To Me...
    Philo® ~PWCM~JLA ✩
    +4
    Here are my rules for relationships:
    Rule #1 She's always right.
    Rule #2 She makes all the rules
    Rule #3 Under no circumstances will she tell you the rules
    Rule #4 All rules are subject to change without notice
    Rule #5 There is no excuse for not knowing and following the rules
    Any questions, please refer to rule #1

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Opinions

  • Saucy 2011/10/19 10:57:07
    She Never Listens To Me Anyway!
    Saucy
    +1
    The best way to score points lads is watch girls favourite movies and in some, well in all your cases probably, pretend you enjoyed it - don`t forget to at least follow the plot and definitely know the ending. If you buy chocolates and/or flowers make sure it`s an occasion otherwise they`ll think you`ve done something wrong. Don`t forget a meal out.
    Most of all NEVER take a woman for granted that`s THE ULTIMATE TABOO not unless you want........

    pillow

    otherwise it`ll be............

    afterwards

    all the way. :0)
  • K-ZOOMI... Saucy 2011/10/19 23:09:27
    K-ZOOMI-----0
    Like the way that is going!
    Thanks 'Saucy'. :)
  • Latti Ice Ganga Gangsta of ... 2011/10/18 18:42:38
    DAMN! Sleeping On The Couch AGAIN!
    Latti Ice Ganga Gangsta of PHAET
    +2
    This will never occur if you follow the rules boys LOL!!!

    evil smile
  • K-ZOOMI... Latti I... 2011/10/19 23:09:51
    K-ZOOMI-----0
    +1
    But you love us when we break them!
    Thanks 'Latrice'. :)
  • Philo® ~PWCM~JLA ✩ 2011/10/14 22:31:05
    She Wants Me To Buy A New Couch! Says Find One That Is Very Comfortable To Me...
    Philo® ~PWCM~JLA ✩
    +4
    Here are my rules for relationships:
    Rule #1 She's always right.
    Rule #2 She makes all the rules
    Rule #3 Under no circumstances will she tell you the rules
    Rule #4 All rules are subject to change without notice
    Rule #5 There is no excuse for not knowing and following the rules
    Any questions, please refer to rule #1
  • K-ZOOMI... Philo® ... 2011/10/18 18:36:44
    K-ZOOMI-----0
    +2
    Women are always right! Rules #1-32!!!
    Thanks 'Philo'. :)
  • Latti I... K-ZOOMI... 2011/10/18 18:40:06
    Latti Ice Ganga Gangsta of PHAET
    +2
    It's good you men, notice that women are always right. ;-)

    halle berry catwoman
  • danny Latti I... 2011/10/21 03:47:11
    danny
    +1
    no no we just play along because you are gonna think that way regardless
  • Latti I... danny 2011/10/21 03:50:28
    Latti Ice Ganga Gangsta of PHAET
    +1
    Exactly my point LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
  • Latti I... Philo® ... 2011/10/18 18:38:49
    Latti Ice Ganga Gangsta of PHAET
    +2
    Correct LOL!!!
  • Philo® ... Latti I... 2011/10/19 02:37:52
    Philo® ~PWCM~JLA ✩
    +2
    Some of us males get it! ;)
  • John Locke 2011/10/14 20:42:09
    WHOOHOO! -752 Points! Leaderboard! Here I Come!!!
    John Locke
    +3
    The rule at our house is: "If you don't want the to sleep next to the other person. YOU go sleep on the couch." We agreed to that before we married. We haven't had to enforce the rule yet in 12 years. We never go to sleep angry at each other. We almost never argue and if we do, we usually decide it's not worth it to stay angry.

    Trying to keep a woman happy is a fool's errand anyway:

    http://mistupid.com/jokes/pag...
  • Philo® ... John Locke 2011/10/14 22:43:40
  • K-ZOOMI... John Locke 2011/10/18 18:37:21
    K-ZOOMI-----0
    +1
    HAHAHA!
    Thanks 'John'. :)
  • pjwinkler65 2011/10/13 21:47:46
    WHOOHOO! -752 Points! Leaderboard! Here I Come!!!
    pjwinkler65
    +2
    Funny stuff. I didn't see anything that was inaccurate though.. lol
  • K-ZOOMI... pjwinkl... 2011/10/18 18:37:50
    K-ZOOMI-----0
    hehehe!
    Thanks 'pjwinkler'. :)
  • bud man (oYo) 2011/10/13 20:13:38 (edited)
    DAMN! Sleeping On The Couch AGAIN!
    bud man (oYo)
    +2
    -900 whoo hooo but you know if women would just shut up and get naked men wouldn't be sleeping on the F!!king couch !!!!
  • K-ZOOMI... bud man... 2011/10/13 21:27:25
    K-ZOOMI-----0
    +2
    HAHAHAHA!
    Thanks 'bubble'. :)
  • pjwinkl... bud man... 2011/10/13 21:46:56
  • RicemanSTM ~POTL~PWCM~JLA~AFCL 2011/10/10 14:12:44
    WHOOHOO! -752 Points! Leaderboard! Here I Come!!!
    RicemanSTM ~POTL~PWCM~JLA~AFCL
    +3
    When the wife is happy...the household is happy. When the wife is unhappy...it's a Drudgereport headline....
  • K-ZOOMI... Riceman... 2011/10/13 19:05:15
    K-ZOOMI-----0
    +3
    That bad huh. >_<
    Thanks 'ricemanstm'. :)
  • outlaw 2011/10/10 01:00:09
    WHOOHOO! -752 Points! Leaderboard! Here I Come!!!
    outlaw
  • K-ZOOMI... outlaw 2011/10/13 19:05:36
    K-ZOOMI-----0
    +3
    hehehe!
    Thanks 'outlaw'. :)
  • ♠Jen♠ BN - 0 2011/10/10 00:25:58
    She Treats Her CAT Better Than Me!!!
    ♠Jen♠ BN - 0
    +3
    HAHAHA!

    Notice how easy it is to loose points and how difficult it is to earn them... this is the way we find the right man!
  • K-ZOOMI... ♠Jen♠ B... 2011/10/13 19:06:11
    K-ZOOMI-----0
    +2
    Or woman!
    Thanks 'Jen'. :)
  • RosaG 2011/10/09 22:41:02
    WHOOHOO! -752 Points! Leaderboard! Here I Come!!!
    RosaG
    +3
    LMAO! This one was brilliant, I'll share it with my friends! XD
    Personally I love movies about cyborgs that eat humans and hate foreign films about orphans, though :)
  • K-ZOOMI... RosaG 2011/10/13 19:06:49
    K-ZOOMI-----0
    +3
    HAHAHA!
    Please let me know if your friends enjoyed this. :)
    Thanks 'RosaG'. :)
  • RosaG K-ZOOMI... 2011/10/13 21:42:04
    RosaG
    +2
    They did! Especially the sports bar stuff :)
  • K-ZOOMI... RosaG 2011/10/18 18:38:06
    K-ZOOMI-----0
    +1
    WHOOHOO!
  • Jay Theyme 2011/10/09 22:28:55
    WHOOHOO! -752 Points! Leaderboard! Here I Come!!!
    Jay Theyme
    +1
    Sorry to say (sorry for mankind) this is something women can't 'not do'. They are convinced it makes perfect sense as long as this game doesn't apply to them. In the old days you used to be able to redeem your points with a swift backhand bitch slap. Now you have the difficult task of ignoring it, learning to disregard their opinions of you and never internalize it or start believing it.
    Never reward them for it either - it will be like signing your own self into miserable slavery.
  • K-ZOOMI... Jay Theyme 2011/10/13 19:08:09
    K-ZOOMI-----0
    +1
    Okay.
    Thanks 'Jay'. :)
  • TMan 2011/10/09 21:29:40
  • K-ZOOMI... TMan 2011/10/13 19:08:32
    K-ZOOMI-----0
    +3
    Thanks 'flyinghigh'. :)
  • Nam Era Vet #1 DNA TLC 2011/10/09 21:23:29
    She Wants Me To Buy A New Couch! Says Find One That Is Very Comfortable To Me...
    Nam Era Vet #1 DNA TLC
    +2
    Uh Oh! I'm in trouble now. LOL
    "You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and
    baggy Hawaiian shirts.......-30"
  • K-ZOOMI... Nam Era... 2011/10/13 19:09:04
    K-ZOOMI-----0
    +3
    Wait till you get "Bonus Deductions". >_<
    Thanks 'Vet'. :)
  • princess 2011/10/09 21:17:16 (edited)
    WHOOHOO! -752 Points! Leaderboard! Here I Come!!!
    princess
    +3
    That's hilarious...lol
    woman arguing with man
  • K-ZOOMI... princess 2011/10/13 19:09:39
    K-ZOOMI-----0
    +3
    Whats with women and always crossing their arms?
    Thanks 'princess'. :)
  • princess K-ZOOMI... 2011/10/15 02:55:16
    princess
    +1
    lol.....
  • Mariposa[◕‿◕Gleek❤PHAET] 2011/10/09 20:33:22
    WHOOHOO! -752 Points! Leaderboard! Here I Come!!!
    Mariposa[◕‿◕Gleek❤PHAET]
    +3
    Hahaha I love how no matter what your answer will be you will still get docked off points for The BIG Question :D
  • K-ZOOMI... Maripos... 2011/10/13 19:11:22
    K-ZOOMI-----0
    +3
    That is an absolute!
    Thanks 'Mariposa'. :)

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