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Keeping things in the family

Brosia 2011/11/12 02:05:44

























These First Cousins Should Really Start Seeing Other People




We can think of several things that Tennessee residents
Erica Wilson and Jesse Brooks should never, ever do together. "Drink
Everclear" is one. Another is date. These two should not date! Not only
are their relationship expectations incompatible, but they're also first
cousins.


The Smoking Gun tells us
that Wilson, 21, and Brooks, 32, recently got into a fight after
drinking too much Everclear and arguing about their relationship, which
has taken a turn for the creepshow. According to the official police
report, "Ms. Wilson stated that during the argument Mr. Brooks began to
touch her suggestively and stated that 'he wanted her.'" When Wilson
told her first cousin that "she wanted a relationship and didn't want to
be 'a booty call'" (at least she's sticking up for herself and making
her needs known? Eh, never mind), Brooks became angry and allegedly
"knocked [her] to the floor and punched her face and neck."


Then things got stabby, the Times News reports:



Wilson told the [sheriff's deputy] she retrieved a pair of scissors
from a coffee table. She said Brooks attacked her again, at which time
she "cut him."


According to the [deputy's] report, Brooks suffered a puncture wound
to his neck and lacerations to his neck, face, arms and back.



And that's how Brooks became Mr. Band-Aid Face. Because deputies
couldn't tell which party had been the first aggressor, both Brooks and
Wilson were charged with aggravated domestic assault. Our recommendation
for punishment is that both of them be sent to rehab plus an
alternative-to-incarceration treatment program where they can learn how
to use Match.com and eHarmony. Also 200 hours of community service each.

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2014/07/29 16:41:00

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