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Just a joke, I thought I'd share...

22RIDE 2012/05/14 21:30:52
A store that sells husbands, where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men, has just opened. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. However, thee is a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you decide to go up a floor instead, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to this new store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: "Floor 1 - These men have jobs". The woman reads the sign and says to herself, Well thats better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder whats further up? So up she goes. The second floor sign reads: "Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids". The woman remarks to herself, Thats great but I wonder whats further up? And up she goes again. The third floor sign reads: "Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking". Hmmm that's even better, she says. But I wonder whats upstairs? The fourth floor sign reads: "Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework". Wow! exclaims the woman, very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up! And again she heads up another flight. The fifth floor sign reads: "Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak". Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on? So up to the sixth floor she goes. The sixth floor sign reads: "Floor 6 - You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please".
You!
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Top Opinion

  • ~beccah~ u no u want meh . . . 2012/05/14 21:34:13
    ~beccah~ u no u want meh . . .
    +3
    Lol , heard that one. what about this one:

    A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

    After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again.

    The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out! The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair.

    By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to...
    Lol , heard that one. what about this one:

    A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

    After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again.

    The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out! The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair.

    By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left... then to the right... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says... "He should have quit while he was a head!"
    (more)

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Opinions

  • Alvin 2012/05/15 00:57:48
    Alvin
    +1
    Wow, that is too close to true to be really funny
  • David K 2012/05/15 00:22:00
    David K
    +1
    brilliance put into words
  • John Hall 2012/05/14 23:35:22
    John Hall
    +1
    I think my wife's been there .
  • sjalan 2012/05/14 21:37:51
    sjalan
    +1
    Sometimes that is the absolute truth!!
  • 22RIDE sjalan 2012/05/14 21:39:25
    22RIDE
    More 'often', than 'some' times ;-)
  • sjalan 22RIDE 2012/05/14 22:09:45
    sjalan
    +1
    lol Then you've gotten a whole barrel of rotten apples yeh?

    Been married to mine for over 44 years now and sometimes she can be trying but over all she's a very fine woman.
  • 22RIDE sjalan 2012/05/14 22:21:32
    22RIDE
    LOL Well actually, I am a woman. Just sharing a joke. But it's a fact that there are a lot of women who are impossible to please, I see it around me and in other marriages all the time. Fortunately for my husband I am not one of that kind :-)
  • sjalan 22RIDE 2012/05/14 22:58:30
    sjalan
    +1
    LOL. You have a lucky husband.

    As for those who are impossible to please. There are other mechanical implements that may work, but no guarantees. LOL snicker
  • ~beccah~ u no u want meh . . . 2012/05/14 21:34:13
    ~beccah~ u no u want meh . . .
    +3
    Lol , heard that one. what about this one:

    A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

    After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again.

    The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out! The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair.

    By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to...
    Lol , heard that one. what about this one:

    A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

    After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again.

    The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out! The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair.

    By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left... then to the right... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says... "He should have quit while he was a head!"
    (more)
  • 22RIDE ~beccah... 2012/05/14 21:38:32
  • David K ~beccah... 2012/05/15 00:21:20
    David K
    awesome

Fun

2013/05/23 08:56:07

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