JOKE TIME: FATHERLY ADVISE COULD END YOUR HAPPY MARRIAGE,
BIG BAD JOHN R.
2012/06/22 21:26:47
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husband and wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone. The counselor asks, "You say you've been married 20 years, so what seems to be the problem?" The wife replies, "It's my husband -- he's driving me crazy! I'm going to leave him if he continues!" "How does he drive you crazy?" "For 20 years," she says, "he's been doing these stupid things. First, whenever we go out, he's always looking at the floor and refuses to go near anyone. It's very embarrassing."
The marriage counselor is amused, "Anything else?" "He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public!" "Hmm, anything else?" probes the counselor further. The wife hesitates, "whenever we're making love, he NEVER lets me be on top! Once in a while, I'd like to be in control!"
"Ah," says the counselor, "I think I'll talk to your husband now." So the wife goes out of the room and the husband enters. The counselor tells him, "Your wife says that you've been driving her crazy. She might even leave you." The husband looks shocked, "WHAT? For 20 years I've been loving and considerate and I've always given her what she wants! What could be the problem?"
The counselor explains, "She says that you've got these habits that are driving her crazy. First, you're always acting strange in public--looking at the floor and never going near anyone else." The husband looks concerned, "Oh, you don't understand! It's one of the few things my father told me to do in his deathbed and I swore I'd obey everything he said." "What did he say?"
"He said that I should never step on anyone's toes!" The counselor looks amused, "Actually, that means that you should not do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry." The husband looks sheepish, "Oh. Okay." The counselor continues, "And you keep picking your nose in public." "Well, its another thing my father specifically commanded me to do! He told me to always keep my nose clean."
The counselor looks faint, "That means that you should not indulge in any criminal activity." "Oh," says the husband looking very stupid. "And finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during your lovemaking."
"This," says the husband seriously, "is the last thing my father commanded me to do on his deathbed and it's the most important thing." "What did he say?" The husband replies, "In his dying breath, he said. Don't screw up.
The marriage counselor is amused, "Anything else?" "He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public!" "Hmm, anything else?" probes the counselor further. The wife hesitates, "whenever we're making love, he NEVER lets me be on top! Once in a while, I'd like to be in control!"
"Ah," says the counselor, "I think I'll talk to your husband now." So the wife goes out of the room and the husband enters. The counselor tells him, "Your wife says that you've been driving her crazy. She might even leave you." The husband looks shocked, "WHAT? For 20 years I've been loving and considerate and I've always given her what she wants! What could be the problem?"
The counselor explains, "She says that you've got these habits that are driving her crazy. First, you're always acting strange in public--looking at the floor and never going near anyone else." The husband looks concerned, "Oh, you don't understand! It's one of the few things my father told me to do in his deathbed and I swore I'd obey everything he said." "What did he say?"
"He said that I should never step on anyone's toes!" The counselor looks amused, "Actually, that means that you should not do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry." The husband looks sheepish, "Oh. Okay." The counselor continues, "And you keep picking your nose in public." "Well, its another thing my father specifically commanded me to do! He told me to always keep my nose clean."
The counselor looks faint, "That means that you should not indulge in any criminal activity." "Oh," says the husband looking very stupid. "And finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during your lovemaking."
"This," says the husband seriously, "is the last thing my father commanded me to do on his deathbed and it's the most important thing." "What did he say?" The husband replies, "In his dying breath, he said. Don't screw up.
Top Opinion
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~Adrien~ 2012/06/22 21:41:53
So the poor green virgin indian heads out to the city and finds a house of ill repute and knocks on the door. Bam, bam, bam. A lovely lady of the night answers and asked the indian if she could help him. The indian looks her up and down and say," Ima looking for sex experience". Well she says...and do you have experience with sex already? The indian looks down and said. NO! The lady told him to go out and find sexual experience before he can have a lady in her house. So he heads out and looks and looks. He looked in the park, the theaters, the mall and every raod he crossed. No one willing. Finally! He goes into the woods and looks around but finds nothing. No women. He is about to give up and sees a huge log laying on the ground with a hole in it. Well...it is a hole. The next day he heads out to the city to the house of ill repute and knocks on the door again. Bam bam, bam. The lovely lady answers again and say,"Well, did you get some sex experience?" The indian say, "YES! ME GOTTUM EXPERIENCE" So the lovely lady tells him to go upstairs an...
So the poor green virgin indian heads out to the city and finds a house of ill repute and knocks on the door. Bam, bam, bam. A lovely lady of the night answers and asked the indian if she could help him. The indian looks her up and down and say," Ima looking for sex experience". Well she says...and do you have experience with sex already? The indian looks down and said. NO! The lady told him to go out and find sexual experience before he can have a lady in her house. So he heads out and looks and looks. He looked in the park, the theaters, the mall and every raod he crossed. No one willing. Finally! He goes into the woods and looks around but finds nothing. No women. He is about to give up and sees a huge log laying on the ground with a hole in it. Well...it is a hole. The next day he heads out to the city to the house of ill repute and knocks on the door again. Bam bam, bam. The lovely lady answers again and say,"Well, did you get some sex experience?" The indian say, "YES! ME GOTTUM EXPERIENCE" So the lovely lady tells him to go upstairs and go in the first door to the right. He gets upstairs and opens the door to find a beautifull woman in nothing but her birthday suite laying on the bed. He walks up to the bed and commands the lady to get up from bed and on her feet. He then tells her to turn around and bend over. She did. Suddenly the Indian smacks the lady on the butt hard. The lady said, Hey! Why did you do that? The indian replied," Ima checking for bees.