Is this what we have to look forward to?
IS THIS WHAT WE HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO???
An older couple were
lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep
but the wife was in a
romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: "You used
to hold my hand when we were courting.."
Wearily he reached
across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back
A few moments later
she said: "Then you used to kiss me.."
Mildly irritated, he
reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and
settled down to
Thirty seconds later
she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck..."
Angrily, he threw
back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you
going?" she asked..
"To get my
DOWN AT THE
80-year old Bessie
bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She
holds her clenched
fist in the air and announces,
"Anyone who can guess
what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!"
An elderly gentleman
in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"
Bessie thinks a
minute and says, "Close enough."
Two elderly ladies
had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they
had shared all kinds
of activities and adventures. Lately, their
activities had been
limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were
playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now
don't get mad at
me... I know we've been friends for a long
time but I just can't
think of your name.. I've thought and thought, but I
can't remember it.
Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at
her. For at least three minutes she just stared and
glared at her.
Finally she said, "How soon do you need to Know?"
As a senior citizen
was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard
his wife's voice urgently warning him, " Vernon ,
I just heard on the
news that there's a car going the wrong way on F3.
"Hell," said Vernon ,
"It's not just one car.. It's hundreds of them!"
Two elderly women
were out driving in a large car - both could barely see
over the dashboard.
As they were cruising along, they came to major
crossroad. The stop
light was red, but they just went on through.
The woman in the
passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I
could have sworn we
just went through a red light." After a few more
minutes, they came to
another major junction and the light was red again.
Again, they went
right through. The woman in the passenger seat was
almost sure that the
light had been red but was really concerned that she
was losing it. She was getting
At the next junction,
sure enough, the light was red and they went on
through. So, she
turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know
that we just ran
through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us
Mildred turned to her
and said, "Oh! Am I driving?"