I'm working on a new book and this is what I have so far.. Read it and tell me what you think? I'd be very grateful.
Death, it’s such a beautiful thing.
That is until it happens to you. My name is Annabel, and I’m dead. I died two
weeks ago under the full moon while waiting to meet the love of my life on top
of a hill covered with poppy flowers. It was a gorgeous night. Suddenly, I felt
a hand covering my mouth and a body pressed up against my back. Daniel wasn’t
supposed to be there for another twenty minutes. I instantly knew I was in
trouble. What I didn’t know, was that in two weeks, I’d be the new trouble.
I first found out I was a vampire
the night after I died. I woke up still on the hill but in newer, more
flattering clothes. There was a note folded up in the pocket of my black skinny
jeans. It explained that I wasn’t the right person and that he/she/it was sorry
for turning me into a monster. It also explained that while I will not turn to
dust in the sunlight, my eyes will be sensitive to it and I’ll get headaches
that will eventually get better. I’d need to feed on a human every day for the
rest of my not dead but dead life. But as I got older, more experienced at
controlling the blood lust, I’d only need to feed every two days. I was
confused at first, I mean, vampires were supposed to only exist in movies and
books and fairy tales. But during the two weeks I’ve been dead, I’ve learned a
lot about my new vicious nature.
&... No one
really thinks vampires exist. Not even me, even though I can feel my fangs
brushing against my lips as I open my mouth to feed on my first victim of the
night. Human males make for an easy dinner. No human male can resist the seductive
eyes or pouty lips of a woman who looks about 20, especially not if that woman
is a vampire and has the charm of a succubus. I quickly hide the body in a
dumpster and fix my dress as I check out my reflection to make sure I don’t
have blood on my mouth. After I make sure I’m all clean and the body is safely
hidden, I start towards the club La Mirage, where only the well-known, most
respected people can get in. Unless you’re me.
I’m only 17, but all I have to do is smile and
tuck my hair behind my ear and I’m let into the club, no I.D checks. I hurry into the club and immediately start
looking around. Something about the place smells wrong. I walk up to the source
of the stench and see a very handsome man looking to be in his mid-twenties. I
sit on the stool next to him and catch the bar tender’s attention.
“Hi, I’d like a Bloody Mary, shaken
not sliced.” I said with a smile as the guy next to me looks over at me.
“Well hello, my name is Austin and
I think I’ll pay for that drink you just ordered.” Austin said and motions at
the bar tender.
“Well thank you, Austin. I think I
might get another then.” I say, turning my dazzling smile on him and getting
satisfaction as I watch him try to gain his composure.
He smiles back, fixes his tie and
downs his drink. I look around trying to make myself seem a little tipsy and
look over to the dance floor. I get up, tug on Austin’s sleeve and pouts a bit
as I say, “Come dance with me, please.”
“Well, I’m not much of a dancer and
I don’t want to embarrass myself.”
I pout more and say in a whiny but
impossible to resist voice, “Well, I’ll teach you. Please come dance with me?”
“Alright, but if you laugh at me, I’m
going back to the bar,” he sighs.
We start dancing and his attention
and that of a few other male’s turns to me as I dance as seductively as I can,
showing off all of my curves. As I put my hands on his hips I can’t help but
notice he seemed pretty muscular. We dance and he twirls me around a few times
making me giggle like a school girl.
He gets up close to me and puts his
lips by my ear, “Would you like to see my bedroom? It’s much better than the
dance floor. I have a very comfortable bed, you’d like it. I promise.”
I look surprised and smile
nervously at him, “Um, sure I guess. It couldn’t hurt anything.”
He pays for the drinks and leads me
to his car, which happens to be a yellow Ferrari, and opens my door for me closing
it after I get in and drives to his house. We walk in the door and he picks me
up and brings me up the stairs to his room. When we get there, he lays me on
his bed and takes off his tie.
“Oh wow, your bed is very, very comfortable.
But, it’d be so much more comfy if you’d come lay on it with me.” I say as I
curl up on my side.
He lies next to me and says, “Your
dress looks uncomfortable. Would you like me to take it off for you?”
I try not to laugh and look at him
making myself seem drunk, “Hmm, I’d have to think about that.”
He seems a little uncertain and
rubs my back, “I’ll do it if you want me to. No problem.”
Finally, I lose my patience and
flip him on his back so quickly he doesn’t know what happened. Then, I slide on
top of him and sink my fangs into his jugular.