If I Were President! Part 2

My next step as President would be to secure our borders. I would institute a gun program called “Slow & Deliberate” whereby I would have Congress allocate to me funds to purchase LEGAL weapons, both automatic and semi-automatic from LEGAL gunshops along our Northern and Southern borders. I would them hire, with affirmative action money, ex-military personnel to take those guns to the Southern border as a priority (and our Canadian-American border just because.) These highly-trained ex-military personnel would train those citizens who are sane, rational patriots to use those weapons against any and all invaders coming into our country illegally. I would also work out a deal with the Mexican government (they still owe us for bailing out their peso years ago) whereby we would lay claymore mines, anti-personnel mines, anti-vehicle mines, and more barbed wire than they have in all of South Korea, to a depth of 2 miles. Guard towers, search lights, and drones would be up the whazoo! Plus, I would station at least two armored and two armored infantry divisions just slightly behind our border, you know, just in case my Attorney General needs to cover something, ughhh…to give our people some coordinated training. For the first few weeks (until the cartel figured out what was going on), our troops and armed citizens would be entertained by the flashes of light in the night signalling the sudden disapperance of millions of dollars of drugs as coyotes try to run the border in pick-up trucks. Darn those mines!

I would make it illegal for ANY taxpayer money to go to ANY political party to pay for ANYTHING. If they want to have a party, those people can pay for it themselves, by golly. No more minority status for anybody. At one time, all of our ancestors were minorities, so why should anybody have special privileges or status over anybody else? All congressmen will herein be paid by the hour, which should cut the payroll cost considerably.

All new Presidents, starting with me, will have to put a security deposit down before they move into the White House to pay for any damage or cleaning that needs to be done after we/they leave. I will introduce legislation that says the President and the first lady must go grocery shopping at least once a month to stay in touch with the people. No more crap food served at state dinners that ordinary Americans can’t pronounce! Anyone NOT pledging their loyalty to this country will not be allowed to serve in my administration, and those already in government who will not pledge will be rooted out!