I Need Some SodaHead Advice. How Should I Feel About This Situation?

by Deborah Posted 2012/06/27 11:31:23

Related Topics: Friend, Situation, Advice, dating, blog, SodaHead

65 votes
Read all 144 opinions
Lightning Report View Results and Demographics + View Demographics

		Maybe you liked the guy more than you thought
		Maybe he is trying to hurt you
		Get over it you are just being jealous
		Ok this is what I think the problem is...
		You're just lonely right now.
		Undecided (Please leave a comment)
		All of the above
		None of the above (Please leave a comment)

Loading Demographics... Click an icon to see demographic results Display unknown and private
	Maybe you liked the guy more than you thought	7 votes	11%
	Maybe he is trying to hurt you	1 vote	2%
	Get over it you are just being jealous	17 votes	26%
	Ok this is what I think the problem is...	14 votes	22%
	You're just lonely right now.	5 votes	8%
	Undecided	1 vote	2%
	All of the above	4 votes	6%
	None of the above	16 votes	25%

I stopped dating a gentleman about two months ago, I liked him a lot but we had very little in common. A co-worker of mine that knew a little of what I was going through with my gentleman friend began pursuing him and now I find out that they are dating. Here's the problem, I'M PISSED. She wasn't a friend of mine just a co-worker, but it is my understanding that she began her pursuits before we had broken up. I know all the encouraging words that go along with a situation like this. But I'm still really Pissed. Why do I care? He's is absolutely not the right man for me, I know this for sure. Help SodaHeads I need to get refocused. Advice please......

+12

Add a comment above

**StarzAbove** 2012/06/27 12:33:34

Get over it you are just being jealous

+8
I think your ego is a little bruised. Move on and find someone whom you really care for. There are plenty of fish in the ocean.
>> See Replies

More polls by Deborah

strange_armour 2012/07/09 20:06:40 (edited)

You're just lonely right now.

+2
.....so date me. My tongue can take your mind off anything.

reply
gregaj7 2012/07/09 19:41:41

None of the above

+1
Why are you "pissed"? It looks like 'problem-solved' to me. If it is "jealousy", then stop wasting your time on it.

reply
Katfish 2012/07/09 17:31:39

You're just lonely right now.

+2
That bitch laughs behind your back about it and braggs about how easlily she fooled you.
You definitely should pull her hair out and scratch her face.
Just kidding; You surely told her that you were not interested in him long term, yeah, she should have at least told you first if she was going to date him but let it go. Or.... pull her hair and scratch her face....lol

reply
Bcounted 2012/07/09 16:38:59

None of the above

+2
Why is not the concern. Sometimes you gut says get away or get out ... always listen to your gut, in this case it was correct. Now, the guy is out of the picture which leaves one task left. Deal with your acquaintance ... follow you gut.
Bcounted.

reply
MandaLynne 2012/07/09 14:07:04

None of the above

+4
Whether the relationship between you and the man worked out or not, it is very unethical and trashy for someone to pursue a man in a relationship. You have a right to be pissed that she did that, if in fact she did.

It is the principle of the matter, not the fact she is dating him now. You aren't angry because she is dating him, you are angry because she started trying to get him before you broke up.

reply
U-Dog 2012/07/09 10:06:59 (edited)

Ok this is what I think the problem is...

+3
I get the impression that you suspect your co-worker of swaying him away from you behind your back and that you are feeling a little betrayed. But if you and he were not really a great match you would probably be much better off letting it go and worrying more about moving forward.

reply
Pat 2012/07/09 09:45:11

Get over it you are just being jealous

+3
You just have to get over it. If you had been speaking with this other girl she probably knew that you weren't that crazy about him so she took a shot. I think you only feel this way because you're alone now. But you really didn't want this guy so you have to let it go.

reply
The Reaper 2012/07/06 18:34:27

Ok this is what I think the problem is...

+2
Women in general want something that they can't have and now the same thing is going on with you, you had your chance with this man and you decided he wasn't for you and that was your choice not his but as many other girls you do not want your ex to be happy! Let him find peace and love because until you forget about him your life is going to be nothing but him and that will stop you from finding love and peace in a relationship of your own!

reply
aneed2know 2012/07/05 09:02:13 (edited)

Ok this is what I think the problem is...

+3
I think your problem is what most of us have. We all want what we let go, but its not available now.

Men have this problem more than women, good luck

reply
Deborah to aneed2know 2012/07/05 12:24:26

+3
I'm good now, thanks

reply
Jerry 2012/07/03 08:38:13

None of the above

+2
......... Deborah, I'm sorry You're annoyed at these 2 co workers that have trashed any kind of feelings You may have had for either one of them....... You and I have talked earlier, I'm still here, when I log on.......... I feel Your spiritual hurt even though We're on opposite sides of the Country, anytime You wish to share, especially when I'm online the same time, please message me..........take care..........

reply
Deborah to Jerry 2012/07/03 09:48:25

+1
Thank you so much Jerry

reply
Jerry to Deborah 2012/07/04 08:00:24

+2
........... I'm here, if You wish to share, on just about anything, I can be a very good listener, as well.......... ;-)

reply
edlie 2012/06/29 09:24:21

Maybe you liked the guy more than you thought

+2
I think you wouldn't feel or act this way if it was just for nothing.

reply
Deborah to edlie 2012/06/30 02:53:10

+2
You may be right, thanks

reply
edlie to Deborah 2012/07/03 02:04:47

+2
cheer up..there's a lot of things you should be happy about other than him! xD

reply
Just me ∞ijm♥G☮F♀U∞ 2012/06/28 03:25:48

Ok this is what I think the problem is...

+1
you're rightfully mad because your co-worker who knew what you were going through went behind your back and basically betrayed you. Co-workers are supposed to be cohesive...team players...and what she did is not conducive with that. If I were you, I would make up a new boyfriend....send yourself flowers, have a friend call you at work during lunch and make this lady think it's your new boyfriend. Heck, make a factitious email account and write yourself juicy loveletters and leave it on your computer screen during lunch or break just for her to see; let her know that you are SO glad that you and he broke up that way it let you be free to date this new hot hunk of a (factitious) man.

reply
Deborah to Just me... 2012/06/28 13:04:24

+1
Ha ha good Idea, but that would take up too much time and give her to much of my energy. I'd rather find the real deal and keep it moving. But thanks for the great idea.

reply
Ira 2012/06/28 03:01:55

Get over it you are just being jealous

+1
Looks like you need to check your ego. This is not a unique problem for women. You have a sense of ownership on him. Let it go. Its psych 101.

reply
Deborah to Ira 2012/06/28 03:21:58

+1
Nothing wrong with my ego.

reply
Alvin 2012/06/28 02:20:02

None of the above

+2
If your relationship with the gentleman was not working out for you and the co-worker was just a co-worker, rejoice in the fact that now they have to deal with each other and you can stand by and be thankful to be out of that mess.

reply
Deborah to Alvin 2012/06/28 02:31:38

+1
I am ok with being out of the relationship with him.

reply
Alvin to Deborah 2012/06/30 01:11:00

+2
Then just back away gracefully, holding your head high and move on.

reply
Deborah to Alvin 2012/06/30 02:54:01

+2
Will do, thanks

reply
Hidden Noname 2012/06/28 00:04:30

None of the above

+2
I'd say Thank God for letting you find out about their true characters, and for neither of them being people you particularly cared about. Think of it this way, it sounds like the deserved each other, and now you're free to go flirt and have fun in your search for the real deal.

reply
Deborah to Hidden ... 2012/06/28 02:32:19

+1
Absolutely, thank you.

reply
JOMO 2012/06/27 23:41:59

None of the above

+1
I think you are pissed as a result of being made to feel that you were upstaged. By your own admission you were going to give this guy a kick to the curb at some point anyway. The fact that your co-worker found value is what you felt to be your soon to be trash, Well.., you shouldn't be angry.., you are choosing to make your own self a victim of a situation where by default there should not be any victims.

This should have been a win.., win.., situation...., you get rid of someone that you say you have nothing in common with..., someone else swoops in and picks him up and you are upset....Makes no sense...! do you think neither the other woman or the gentleman that you were dating weren't aware that the two of you had nothing in common.

Get over yourself and move on..., One man's trash is another mans' treasure.....! Frankly.., and respectfully...., I think you are displaying one of the reasons that you are in the market for someone to be in your life in the first place....Just let it go....JOMO

reply
Deborah to JOMO 2012/06/27 23:53:29

+1
Well you might be right or you could be displaying the type of personality of the man I dumped. Reading your interpretation has made me feel so much better. I know now that I made the right decision to kick him to the curb. I m not a victim nor do i feel like one. But thanks for the reminder. I do feel much better.

reply
JOMO to Deborah 2012/06/28 04:28:16

+2
Well.., Deborah..., you can't invite people to examine a scenario that you describe and then try and be sarcastic to those that responsd.. While I am sure you gave an accurate accounting of your situation.., there still remains a the fact of there is always three sides to any situation.

There is your side..., there is his side..., and then there is the truth....,Now based on what you described.., I gave you a honest opinion of which there are many. Now your attempt to be sarcastic toward me and my opinion indicates to me that you are looking for people to respond to you in a way that says what you want to hear. Otherwise.., according to you.., should be compared to your EX....

Believe it or not.., it is not my intention to sound insensitive or be mean...but haven said that Deborah ..., your response is revealing in ways maybe you aren't aware of....I'm Just SAYIN.....JOMO

reply
Deborah to JOMO 2012/06/30 03:01:38

+2
I agree with most of what you said, except for your comment that I am feeling victimized, and that I am displaying the reason i am in the market. I am in the market because I will not except less than I deserve in a man, I will not engage in childish combative behavior with a man that I am intimate with. I would have respected your opinion more if you had asked exactly what the problem was instead of assuming that it was me.My response to your answer was because it rang with similarities of the man I just dumped. Assuming is not knowing. But I do appreciate your honest response.

reply
JOMO to Deborah 2012/06/30 16:05:28

+1
Well thank you for your attempt of candor.., and I say attempt because you are doing the exact same thing to me that that you are accusing me of..., "ASSUMING" I am the same as the guy you say you dumped.

Let me try and clear up what you seemed to have surmised from my posting (s). It was never my intent to imply you were the cause of what you are going through. Rather..., to suggest that you take a step back and look at your situation as objectively as possible oppose to "JUST" find fault with everyone excluding yourself. Even if that means taking a closer look at your decision making process, and the main reason for that is with hopes that you not only learned from your experience..., but may very well avoid making the same mistake the next time around.

Deborah..., Don't be so defensive..., no one is attacking you..., and no one can save you from you..., but you...! The only way you will be successful at not repeating your failures of the past is to assess your past objectively.., that includes your participation from beginning to end and at every level.

The fact that you prefer to view my response as an attack on you suggest that you are not being as objective as maybe you should be while assessing your situation. Respectfully Deborah...,from a man's perspective.., you sounds ...

Well thank you for your attempt of candor.., and I say attempt because you are doing the exact same thing to me that that you are accusing me of..., "ASSUMING" I am the same as the guy you say you dumped.

Let me try and clear up what you seemed to have surmised from my posting (s). It was never my intent to imply you were the cause of what you are going through. Rather..., to suggest that you take a step back and look at your situation as objectively as possible oppose to "JUST" find fault with everyone excluding yourself. Even if that means taking a closer look at your decision making process, and the main reason for that is with hopes that you not only learned from your experience..., but may very well avoid making the same mistake the next time around.

Deborah..., Don't be so defensive..., no one is attacking you..., and no one can save you from you..., but you...! The only way you will be successful at not repeating your failures of the past is to assess your past objectively.., that includes your participation from beginning to end and at every level.

The fact that you prefer to view my response as an attack on you suggest that you are not being as objective as maybe you should be while assessing your situation. Respectfully Deborah...,from a man's perspective.., you sounds very defensive and if I would have met you and heard you say some of the key words you use in your conversation I would run as fast as I could in the opposite direction.

Again.., this is not an attack on you or an attempt to make you look bad.., it is simply an honest response.. There is no way anyone can solve a problem if all of the factors aren't included in the equation.., and in your case Deborah..., you are one of the factors...I'm just sayin....JOMO
(more)

reply
ehrhornp 2012/06/27 23:30:38

Get over it you are just being jealous

+2
I don't know if you are jealous of your fellow worker but you need to just get over it. You will soon find someone else I am sure.

reply
Deborah to ehrhornp 2012/06/27 23:32:34

+1
No i'm not jealous of my co-worker. But I am upset for some reason about her dating my ex.

reply
ehrhornp to Deborah 2012/06/28 00:04:02

+1
Probably natural that you would want your ex to be alone at least as long as you are.

reply
tblackb 2012/06/27 21:49:26

None of the above

+2
if the relationship needed because the 2 of u had little n common, then who really cares. he's going 2 date some1. if u don't share ur business w/ur coworker(s) then it my not have otherwise happened w/her (if that was the case). u just need 2 find another man that is more suitable 2 u.

reply
Deborah to tblackb 2012/06/27 22:20:50

+1
I didn't have to share my business with co-workers, people have eyes. And yes I will find someone else I'm sure, but that was not the point of the post.

reply
tblackb to Deborah 2012/06/28 13:37:02

+1
that's exactly the point. if u don't want the guy who cares....it could have been ur best friend and still who cares. even if they began seeing each other b4 the two of u broke it off, who cares. u have 2 inside urself because it should only matter 2 u if u do care...

reply
john 2012/06/27 21:43:25

You're just lonely right now.

+1
you made the right choice and difficult as it seems you should move on and don't even think about those two, it will eat you away and you will feel worse, just enjoy your life

reply
Deborah to john 2012/06/27 22:21:37

+1
I will, thank you very much.

reply
rknothead 2012/06/27 20:33:54

All of the above

+2
No one likes to lose at love or war...but if you know he's not the one for you, just get over it, go out and have some fun!

reply