I need prayer, or a friendly word of advice.
♡Short Sparkley Ginger♡
2012/07/08 18:02:28
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My mom just came into my room crying, saying how she hates her life, can't stand my two little sisters, and isnt happy with my dad anymore. And I don't blame her. I'm sure as much of a pain in the butt I am too, I'm not helpling. I need advice. I need help for what I'm going to attempt to do. I want to fix my family before it falls apart.
My mom has to deal with being my great grandma's atterny, which is really stressing her out. I know I can't help with that, but I can help here at home. Keepin the house clean, cooking dinner, and all that will be easy. But getting my sisters to stop being selfish spoiled brats who don't do what they are told, fight, scream and remind me of the children off Nanny911. No joke, I need help. Prayer, advice, anything please. I need to save my family, I know this sounds dramatic, but its true. Things have been out of control for awhile now and I've already had to go through my mom getting divorced once with my real dad. I can't let that happen again
My mom has to deal with being my great grandma's atterny, which is really stressing her out. I know I can't help with that, but I can help here at home. Keepin the house clean, cooking dinner, and all that will be easy. But getting my sisters to stop being selfish spoiled brats who don't do what they are told, fight, scream and remind me of the children off Nanny911. No joke, I need help. Prayer, advice, anything please. I need to save my family, I know this sounds dramatic, but its true. Things have been out of control for awhile now and I've already had to go through my mom getting divorced once with my real dad. I can't let that happen again
Top Opinion
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in vino veritas 2012/07/09 00:17:41...
+8I think your Mom would benefit from having another adult to talk with a professional if possible,clinics, churches, sometimes offer free services or sliding scale fees. Its a tough situation you can only do your part the rest is up to your Mom and her husband they are the adults soon enough you will be one to.Take your siblings to the park etc it will give Mom a break,I think its awesome you are willing and ready to help.
You are brave and considerate to want to help...most your age would run and just worry about themselves.
Tell those little ones that they need to behave, please try to make them see that they are the cause of your mom's(yet she loves them) suffering when she is away.
A few years ago, I went through a very painful divorce. Then, I had job changes which made my job much more difficult. I'm a school librarian and I was assigned two schools and given no para time to help, where I'd had a 1/2 time para and one school before. About 6 weeks into the school year, I came to the elementary school. The book return cart was so full, it had tipped over. There were literally at least 2000 books needing to be shelved sitting behind the computer, as not only was the book cart full, all shelves, front and back, there were at least three stacks of books on the floor behind the computer which were 2 to 3 feet high. I had 30 minutes before my class came, but that was supposed to be my lunchtime. I wanted to cry, but something in me just snapped--in a good way. I thought: I can't change this right now. My job is what it is. I can feel sorry for myself, or I can find solutions. I can change my attitude. I've been working on my attitude every since. I found reasonable solutions to the problems of no help and no time to do anything. I didn't like the necessities, but I managed. I tried to be as cheerful and u...
A few years ago, I went through a very painful divorce. Then, I had job changes which made my job much more difficult. I'm a school librarian and I was assigned two schools and given no para time to help, where I'd had a 1/2 time para and one school before. About 6 weeks into the school year, I came to the elementary school. The book return cart was so full, it had tipped over. There were literally at least 2000 books needing to be shelved sitting behind the computer, as not only was the book cart full, all shelves, front and back, there were at least three stacks of books on the floor behind the computer which were 2 to 3 feet high. I had 30 minutes before my class came, but that was supposed to be my lunchtime. I wanted to cry, but something in me just snapped--in a good way. I thought: I can't change this right now. My job is what it is. I can feel sorry for myself, or I can find solutions. I can change my attitude. I've been working on my attitude every since. I found reasonable solutions to the problems of no help and no time to do anything. I didn't like the necessities, but I managed. I tried to be as cheerful and upbeat as possible. All of a sudden, my coworkers stepped in and helped. I'd come to the elementary, and all the books would be checked in by teachers taking some extra time. It worked out, but I think it worked out because my own attitude adjusted.
First, bless YOU for doing what you can to ease your mom's burden. Cooking and cleaning is a big help. I don't know how old your sisters are, but it sounds like it's time for some limits. Maybe, you can have a conference with your mom and stepdad and see what can be done. Then, a family conference, including your little sisters, where the expectations AND the consequences are discussed. Your little sisters won't change overnight, and they won't change unless they see that their behavior is not going to be tolerated any longer. They undoubtedly have privileges and things which they expect, but if their behavior is bad, they should lose them. TV? Take it away. Phone? Nope. If they leave their stuff out, they lose it for a week. It will be hard, but if your parents also have you to help, it will get things back in line quicker than if you were not helping.
Best of prayers and blessings to you. I know that you can do this, and I know that you must be an extremely mature and special young woman to not only recognize the problem, but to also want to be part of the solution, rather than be part of the problem.
And I totally understand your horror with the shelving of books, I volunteer at the library you see and it seems like just one cart of books will be the death of me sometimes.
Thankyou so much for your advice, I'll get right on it :) <3
Someone posted to see if your mom (or even you) can get professional help. I didn't think of that, and should have. I don't think your mom meant to do it, but it's an awfully big burden to put on your shoulders. Ultimately, you're not responsible for your Mom's life. She's the adult. She has to solve her problems herself. You can help her, and your solutions are great, but still you can't do everything. Blessings on you as you find your way. You're on your way to being an awesome adult!
Your mom needs friends or a counselor that will help her get her head together. She needs someone to get behind her and help her plan her days and what she needs to do and how to do them. You can't be your mothers mother.
I think its great that you want to be a help around the house, but this goes deeper. Your mom needs serious help. Where is your dad or aunts and uncles? Where are your grandparents? This is a time for family and friends to gather around and help.
I'll be praying for you.
If something happends to this girl's mom, she may carry guilt around that she shouldn't. She needs help in how to not be an enabler.
If your sisters yell and scream....do not scream back. They win when you do. Seperate them, put them in a different room...and if they give you trouble....don't let them. You are big sister...they are to show you respect...if they can't show you respect out of love, then maybe teaching them to step lightly around you might give them reason to learn to respect you. If you have to...douse them with cold water....
Do not try to prevent what you cannot prevent. If your mom and stepdad are heading for a divorce....the odds of you preventing it are zero... Best thing to do is run a low profile, get your sisters to do the same...give your mother room to think and breathe.....
This too shall pass......
Secondly as stated on here by another poster YOU can't save your family, as much as you would like to. Being a mother is not always easy, but it is not YOUR job or responsibilty. You are part of a family, not a parent.
Your Mother needs to figure out things for herself. But, don't take the weight of her worries onto your young shoulders. Regardless of what happens this is not your problem.
My best to you
And, ( no dis'intended ) since you're only 15 years old,
that's one heck of a lot of stress and crap for your mom to dump on you ~
Hope you realize it's not up to you to fix her problems, but it's good that you're concerned !
Do what you can, but protect yourself from absorbing her current drama...
It can, and WILL kick your ass, in ways beyond belief ;p
Remove yourself, if you have to, no shame in that !
Go stay with your real dad, or family members,
if you can, until things calm down for her ~
You can't save your family, UNTIL
you save YOURSELF, first !
Hugs, and Peace to You ~
The problem she has with your step dad is a whole another story. I don't think tha...
The problem she has with your step dad is a whole another story. I don't think that you should interfear there at all. If they are having problems that you mom can't handle, maybe she should seek some professional help. That is not your speciallty. Be supportine of your mom and let her know you love her and are concerned that she is having problems but she is the mother and should not be coming to you at your age with her problems. Do what you can to help but do NOT ignore your needs and responsibilities to yourself. You seem to have you life pretty much on track. Don't let this derail your life too.