Excellent question. He really doesn't need to know why. All he has to know is that you are not ready now, and that if you ever are ready to have sex with him, he will know. If the texting is getting uncomfortable, then ask him to tone it down. Keep in mind, that you don't HAVE to play along.
This does sound like something you need to discuss in person.
How do you tell someone you’re not ready to have sex with them?
Micha Vengeance Way
2012/06/15 19:19:28
Okay so I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over a month and I’m not a virgin, but I’m not ready to have sex again yet. He hasn’t asked me about it or pressured me but things have been getting a bit more sexual when we text and stuff, and like, I don’t know how to tell him that I’m just not ready for that kinda stuff yet.
I know it sounds stupid since I’m not a virgin but I really regret having sex in the first place, and I kind of want to wait for a while, like at LEAST 6 months, until I know that he’s serious and is willing to wait for me, because I know he’s more experienced than me and stuff but yeah. So how do I tell him in a nice way and like explain it to him?
Top Opinion
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Andy Fletcher 2012/06/16 01:42:07
Then he'll wait :)
Sadley my girlfriend said the same thing. XD
I don't see anything wrong or stupid sounding in anything you wrote here at all but you can skip a lot of it when talking to him.
The people who said that just plain "no" or "I'm not ready for that, yet" is enough and you don't have to give any explanation at all are certainly correct, too.
He should be glad that you value HIM enough to want to explain that you don't feel ready to take that step yet rather than just "no", But you shouldn't need to explain if you don't feel like it, and your decision should be respected.
I like Andy Fletcher's answer the best for you, because it seems just right in your circumstances. Katherina's is great for her, she's decided exactly where she stands on the matter and if her guys don't like it, too bad, how sad! Its going to weed out the ones who are just playing real fast, its easy to understand, clear and unequivocal. But until you decide for sure how you feel about it, Andy's way of saying it is great for you. Its short and breezy, lets ur bf know you like him enough to wait and see what develops, but that your firm...
I don't see anything wrong or stupid sounding in anything you wrote here at all but you can skip a lot of it when talking to him.
The people who said that just plain "no" or "I'm not ready for that, yet" is enough and you don't have to give any explanation at all are certainly correct, too.
He should be glad that you value HIM enough to want to explain that you don't feel ready to take that step yet rather than just "no", But you shouldn't need to explain if you don't feel like it, and your decision should be respected.
I like Andy Fletcher's answer the best for you, because it seems just right in your circumstances. Katherina's is great for her, she's decided exactly where she stands on the matter and if her guys don't like it, too bad, how sad! Its going to weed out the ones who are just playing real fast, its easy to understand, clear and unequivocal. But until you decide for sure how you feel about it, Andy's way of saying it is great for you. Its short and breezy, lets ur bf know you like him enough to wait and see what develops, but that your firm in the "not now" part, not making any promises but not shutting him out, either, that your not mad and a lot of other information in two short little sentences. Great "manspeak" Andy. LOL.
Got a hint for you Micha...Guys don't really hear all the rest of the baggage, emotion and "stuff". Their brains are just wired completely different. The neurons just don't connect the same way in there. Here's how it mostly goes in there...Mostly, on the topic of sex, they want to know if you want to have sex with them right now. If not, they want to know if you think you might want to have sex with them someday. Okay, great, done with that topic, oh, look, something shiny......
All the rest usually flies right over the top. Their brains just aren't made the same way. "Regret sex" might sink in but if it does its only because the word "regret" is linked with "sex" and that will confuse them totally. "Regret sex???..... HUH???? .......Really???". So that is why women are supposed to be the ones in charge of quality control for the species. ;-)
That was amazing. Thank you.
You just made my day (: