HOKIELAND RESIDENCY APPLICATION!

Last Name: ________________

First name: (Check appropriate box):

(_) Billy-Bob
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
(_) Billy

Age: ____, if known
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

Occupation: (phonetic spellings available)
(_) Farmer
(_) Mechanic
(_) Hair Dresser
(_) Un-employed

Spouse's Name: __________________________

Relationship with spouse:
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet
(_) Livestock

Number of children living in household (If you can count) : ___
Number that are yours: ___

Mother's Name: _______________________

Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)
Relation of mother to father: _________________
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)
Does it have wheels? (_)
How many tornadoes has it been through? (_)

___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Number of shirts you own. (1) (2)
Number of shirts that are tank tops with motorcycles on them(_)

What does your foam hat say?
(_) "John Deer"
(_) "If I have anything to say to you I'll fart"
(_) "I own a Chevy truck"
(_) "Old Fart's Wife"
(_) no longer readable due to filth
(_) you don't know because you can't read

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed
____ church benches (for when father speaks of the sins of incest)

Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_
How many deer have you struck with it? (_)

Do you have a gun rack?
(_) Yes (_) No; please explain:

Have you been struck by lightning? (_)
How many times? (_)
While carrying a firearm? (_)

What flavors of aqua velva does the local bar serve on tap?
(_) springtime blue
(_) musk
(_) seaside green

How many of your family members are cross eyed? (__), (_)all.

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_) The National Enquirer
(_) Hustler
(_) Soldier of Fortune
(_) TV Guide
(_) Soap Opera Digest
(_) Rifle and Shotgun

___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO
___ Number of times you've shot at Elvis in a UFO
___ Number of consecutive sober days (0,1,2,3, can't remember)

Do you bathe? (_)Yes (_)No (_)Don't recall

If so, how often do you bathe:
(_)Weekly
(_)Monthly
(_)Not Applicable

Color of teeth:
(_)Yellow
(_)Brownish-Yellow
(_)Brown
(_)Black
(_)No teeth

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
(_)1 mile
(_)2 miles
(_)don't know