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HOCD or denial??

Mrs. Prince Royce 2012/05/30 00:17:56
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HOCD or denial???????????
Well, this trigger started when I was on my computer. I got bored so I searched "The gay tests" on Google. At first I thought it was fun because it was just a silly old test. I even got straight for all of them! Well I became obsessed with the tests! Later on this thought automatically popped in my head! "What is I'm gay?" I was terrified and in bed for two weeks. I even told my mom about this. She said that it was just a phase. Well this phase lasted for about 4 months. Yea call it a "phase"!! Anyways I decided to go on the internet more and more and more...I came across to this "Try to imagining yourself with the same sex..now with the opposite sex." Well what I did is pick the guy I like form my class and than pick a girl who I think was pretty. Well I compared. I got a tingly feeling for the guy, but for the girl I got a nasty feeling in my that I hate so much. Well then I was like OMG why was I thinking that. The girl I was imagining goes to my school and we were always good friends. The thought I have know did not even pop up when I was talking to her. But know it's like every time I'm near her I get the exact same feeling. Not the butterflies in my stomach kind of feeling. I sometimes talk to her!.. and I even forget about that thought. But when I get home from school I start thinking about it..and The more I think about it the more I believe it! I am very confused!! I always liked guys!! When I kenw what was gay bi and all the others I was like ewwww really? (I was 8)but then when I was 10 The thought just popped in my head..OMG what if I like this girl and I'm gay. only lasting a week. Then again..OMG..what if I like this girl what if I'm gay!!only lasting a week also. But this one is like..aaaa I really want to get this out of my head. I have always liked guys as in going out and all that. I would not go out with a girl. The only thing I could Imagine in being friends.and that's all. I am very insecure..shy...not to many friends..and lonely...I had always liked guys..their so good looking..and so mm hot..but I hate this thought..I know inside really really deeep that I'm straight, but I just have to think about it to know if I am gay straight or even bisexual. It like relieves my anxiety I guess. but the more I think about it the more I think that I am gay..or bi..yesterday I was like maybe I am bisexual..and then I totally accepted it...Next day I was like..what was I thinking...I am confused...Please help me!!! I am 12 and I am going through puberty..just so you know..I LOOK LIKE 15 YEAR OLD..LOL
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  • JustMe 2012/05/30 00:27:15
    Undecided
    JustMe
    +2
    You are fine, and simply going through what everyone your age goes through. don't worry about it, its normal to have doubts, especially since thats how many of those tests are designed
  • Mrs. Pr... JustMe 2012/05/30 00:29:48
    Mrs. Prince Royce
    +1
    OKay since your bi when did you first like the same sex
  • JustMe Mrs. Pr... 2012/05/30 00:32:10
    JustMe
    +1
    honestly, its been a long time, i was quite young, but I am more partial to girls. if you want to chat you are welcome to message me
  • Mrs. Pr... JustMe 2012/05/30 00:34:00
    Mrs. Prince Royce
    +1
    Thank you! Sorry to ask, but how long?
  • JustMe Mrs. Pr... 2012/05/30 00:37:30
    JustMe
    +1
    how long wha? and its fine
  • Mrs. Pr... JustMe 2012/05/30 00:39:32
    Mrs. Prince Royce
    +1
    How long or at what age did you know you were bi? :)
  • JustMe Mrs. Pr... 2012/05/30 00:51:20
    JustMe
    +1
    id hafta guess 12 or 13ish
  • Mrs. Pr... JustMe 2012/05/30 00:54:02 (edited)
    Mrs. Prince Royce
    +1
    who were your first crushes?guy or gals
  • JustMe Mrs. Pr... 2012/05/30 15:11:49
  • Beccy 2012/05/30 00:24:56
    Undecided
    Beccy
    +1
    Give it some time i am sure you will figure it out
  • Mrs. Pr... Beccy 2012/05/30 00:27:55
    Mrs. Prince Royce
    +1
    So I could be straight or bi?
  • Beccy Mrs. Pr... 2012/05/30 00:30:28
    Beccy
    +1
    You have alot of time to figure it out. I am a social worker and I find alot of people are confused. May I ask why you are so focused on this?
  • Mrs. Pr... Beccy 2012/05/30 00:32:50
    Mrs. Prince Royce
    +1
    I do not want to be bi or gay. I just want to love guys. I can't imagine having a girl as a girl friend and falling in love with her!!!
  • Beccy Mrs. Pr... 2012/05/30 00:33:47
    Beccy
    +1
    Most boys your age think girls have fleas You are alright
  • Mrs. Pr... Beccy 2012/05/30 00:34:25 (edited)
    Mrs. Prince Royce
    +1
    I'm a girl!! :)lol
  • Beccy Mrs. Pr... 2012/05/30 00:35:29
    Beccy
    +1
    it sounds to me like you are okay
  • Mrs. Pr... Beccy 2012/05/30 00:38:02 (edited)
    Mrs. Prince Royce
    +1
    Are you sure? Since you are a social worker can you recommend me any thing to forget about this? I'm just so worried...and I need to think about it but the more I think about it the more I think maybe I am...and The more confused I get!! I can't listen to music any more because she pops in my head...aaaaaa
  • Beccy Mrs. Pr... 2012/10/01 00:09:21
    Beccy
    Maybe your parents could take you for some therapy?
  • Mrs. Pr... Beccy 2012/10/01 20:20:52
    Mrs. Prince Royce
    affff i went to theripy..it was exageration..im starigh whhowh me...it was just a thought..and it is normal for me to think other ppl look pretty..lol..im weird!!! :)

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