Having an "I hate my job" day?
The Birdman
2012/05/29 08:31:11
When you have an 'I
Hate My Job day' [Even if you're
retired, you sometimes have those days] Try this out:
Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer
section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by
Johnson & Johnson.
Be very sure you get this
brand.
When you get home, lock your doors,
draw the curtains and disconnect the phone
so you will
not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable clothing and
sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer.
Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so
that it will not become chipped or broken.
Now the fun part
begins.
Take out the literature from the box and
read it carefully.
You will notice that in
small print there is a statement: "Every Rectal
Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is
personally tested and then sanitized."
Now,
close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,' I am so glad I do not work in
the thermometer quality control department at
Johnson &
Johnson.'
Top Opinion
-
sglmom 2012/05/29 09:10:32
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say.
"I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... and then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!
“But, Hell, enough about me, how are you doing?"
And you're supposed to say "Why not?" Ok, go!