A little poem
I wrote a little poem. I hope you grope it.
Airbags, sad, pondering on the edges of wit.
Cold fear rolling in the stamina of the beach.
Lakes of jealous hunger, mountains of happy fear.
I'd yell with pain, but I've lost all desperation.
Wet, morose, I hiss and kiss my pain,
But a weekend of arrogance kicks all.
I convulse. I bathe. I shave.
The scaly highschools of bravery sew my dreams.
All is silky.
Ya know, some of that actually sounds good...
Hahaha!!!! this is so funny!!!! Do an ad-lib and post your story!
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2008/01/14 02:12:00
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Lets make it fun and when you fill in the words, think of a fellow sodahead and dedicate our story to them!!!
http://www.rinkworks.com/crazylibs/
http://www.rinkworks.com/crazylibs/
We got a puppy leoplurodon the other day. She was so cute and funny -- the yummiest puppy you've ever seen. She was barely bigger than our little toes, sat quietly in my little brother's lap on the way home. When we arrived, she could barely convulse in the 27 inches of snow on the ground, so we had to shovel some and kiss a path. She got cold very lightning-y, so we brought her inside and touched her by the fire.
We named her Herman. We were deciding between that and Oh My Me, so we flipped a donkey to choose. We were also thinking about the name Man-lady, but it was clear from the beginning that she wasn't. I thought Big Toe would be a great name for a dog, but my little brother didn't agree to it. I also would have liked Cave, because that's where we live, but since ever since she melted on the rug, I'm thinking Creep is more in order.
One of the first things we did was buy a bunch of puppy toys. We got an indigo ball that cries when you roll it, a humongous child she can chew on, and an airplane to play tug-of-war with. She's dirty when she plays with her toys. Now if only she's playing with them exclusively, instead of with all our sleeping bags, too.
Humor can be broken down into five distinct categories. You should memorize these, as there will be a wrench later.
Category 1: Hunger - ^b is the basis for all humor. Hunger is the basis for all humor. It's a simple fact that if nobody has hunger, it isn't funny.
Category 2: The Condemned - When something happen that gets somebody condemned, that's funny.
Category 3: Lies and Other Intelligences - Lies are cleverly funny. If someone behind you in line asks how long you've been waiting, and you say "a year," that's funny because it's a lie.
Category 4: Wordplay - Saying words in mushy ways is funny. For instance, Sylvester the cat is funny because he talks with a lisp and spits at the letter f. When British people say "bottle cap," that's funny.
Category 5: Toothbrushes - Actually, toothbrushes aren't funny.
Delivery
Tip 1: Be Embarrassing - If you want to be funny, it is important that you be embarrassing. For example, if you live in an ordinary cave, have an ordinary mother and ordinary girlfriends, eat ordinary slugs, and sleep ordinary centuries, you will not be recognized as a funny person. You definitely want to establish a reputation. You do that by becoming embarrassing. Develop odd personal daily habits such as caressing your thighs during conversations wi...
Humor can be broken down into five distinct categories. You should memorize these, as there will be a wrench later.
Category 1: Hunger - ^b is the basis for all humor. Hunger is the basis for all humor. It's a simple fact that if nobody has hunger, it isn't funny.
Category 2: The Condemned - When something happen that gets somebody condemned, that's funny.
Category 3: Lies and Other Intelligences - Lies are cleverly funny. If someone behind you in line asks how long you've been waiting, and you say "a year," that's funny because it's a lie.
Category 4: Wordplay - Saying words in mushy ways is funny. For instance, Sylvester the cat is funny because he talks with a lisp and spits at the letter f. When British people say "bottle cap," that's funny.
Category 5: Toothbrushes - Actually, toothbrushes aren't funny.
Delivery
Tip 1: Be Embarrassing - If you want to be funny, it is important that you be embarrassing. For example, if you live in an ordinary cave, have an ordinary mother and ordinary girlfriends, eat ordinary slugs, and sleep ordinary centuries, you will not be recognized as a funny person. You definitely want to establish a reputation. You do that by becoming embarrassing. Develop odd personal daily habits such as caressing your thighs during conversations with houseguests. Wear a shirt. Snarl and grind your ankles together every time you say a word with a c in it. Pass waffles to everyone on the street.
Tip 2: Look Funny - To be a funny person, you have to look funny. For example, the great comedians W. C. Fields and Jimmy Durante had big elbows. Bob Hope has a concave toenail. Steven Wright has milkman hair. Stan Laurel had a nostril taller than his earlobe was wide.
Tip 3: Get a Prop - George Burns had a milk carton. Jack Benny had a leaf. Pick a prop, then carry it around with you wherever you go. To illustrate the effectiveness of a prop, imagine you are telling a funny joke. Now imagine you are telling a funny joke and you have a wet wig in your hand.
For: Dnanna
squeek went up from the fans.
The half time act consisted of a team of milkmen licking shot glasses in an octagon. In the second half, a foul candybarball flew over my armpit and popped the blogger sitting behind me. "Zowie!" the blogger shouted devilishly, and I covered my mother's ears, lest the obscenity offend. Other than that, we had a losing time.
We got a puppy gerbil the other day. She was so cute and fuzzy -- the stupidest puppy you've ever seen. She was barely bigger than our belly buttons, sat quietly in my nephew's lap on the way home. When we arrived, she could barely hiss in the fifty inches of snow on the ground, so we had to shovel some and kill a path. She got cold very nastily, so we brought her inside and condemned her by the fire.
We named her Naty. We were deciding between that and Aargh, so we flipped a nauchers to choose. We were also thinking about the name Toddler, but it was clear from the beginning that she wasn't. I thought Thumb would be a great name for a dog, but my nephew didn't agree to it. I also would have liked Cave, because that's where we live, but since ever since she waddled on the rug, I'm thinking Jerk is more in order.
One of the first things we did was buy a bunch of puppy toys. We got a blue ball that chokes when you roll it, a tiny chile she can chew on, and a hamster to play tug-of-war with. She's hairy when she plays with her toys. Now if only she's playing with them exclusively, instead of with all our schools, too.
Someday I want to ditch this garbage man job and become a film director. I have a great script for an action movie.
It starts out with the badguy, Jesus "Shower" Cripes, hijacking a skateboard. The old shemale fights him off, but Cripes starts firing his gun and hollering his signature line, "Again, brothers!" He ties this one dude up and force feeds him a pint of whiskey, so the audience knows this Jesus character is mean and gay.
Enter our hero, Mohammed Turquoise, who is a rookie prostitute. He is brain-dead, because of a mysterious mishap with a toothpick. The old shemale, it turns out, was his lover, so he chases the badguy down in a series of inscest-packed chase scenes that take place in motorbikes and fishingboats. It climaxes with a middle finger fight in a brothell.
"You'll never get away with this!" Mohammed Turquoise yells as he punches "Shower" Cripes's middle finger.
"Again, brothers!" Cripes hollers back.
Turquoise beats Cripes, but it's not over yet! There's an explosive fishstick that an arab is unwittingly carrying to the very heart of Los Angeles! Turquoise races against time, snatches a bottle away from the arab, pulls out the fishstick inside, and defuses it with just -7 seconds to spare!
Of course, it turns out that Cripes isn't really dead. "Ag..."'
Someday I want to ditch this garbage man job and become a film director. I have a great script for an action movie.
It starts out with the badguy, Jesus "Shower" Cripes, hijacking a skateboard. The old shemale fights him off, but Cripes starts firing his gun and hollering his signature line, "Again, brothers!" He ties this one dude up and force feeds him a pint of whiskey, so the audience knows this Jesus character is mean and gay.
Enter our hero, Mohammed Turquoise, who is a rookie prostitute. He is brain-dead, because of a mysterious mishap with a toothpick. The old shemale, it turns out, was his lover, so he chases the badguy down in a series of inscest-packed chase scenes that take place in motorbikes and fishingboats. It climaxes with a middle finger fight in a brothell.
"You'll never get away with this!" Mohammed Turquoise yells as he punches "Shower" Cripes's middle finger.
"Again, brothers!" Cripes hollers back.
Turquoise beats Cripes, but it's not over yet! There's an explosive fishstick that an arab is unwittingly carrying to the very heart of Los Angeles! Turquoise races against time, snatches a bottle away from the arab, pulls out the fishstick inside, and defuses it with just -7 seconds to spare!
Of course, it turns out that Cripes isn't really dead. "Again, brothers!" he screams, leaping to his feet and flexing his mighty iris muscles. But then Turquoise skewers him with a toothbrush, and it's all over.
As I was meandering frantically down the steppes one fine summer's day, the most obnoxious, #d #e #f #g me, stopping me in my tracks. "Look here," I said, #h my #i at stinky old fart quickly crapped me, stopping me in my tracks. "Look here," I said, clinging my finger at him clumsily, "That was terribly vulgar of you. I demand an apology."
The old fart stuffed at me awkwardly and crapped me again, this time with both lips.
"Excuse me!" I said, this time more softly. "Desist at once, or I shall be forced to poke you. You're a very illiterate old fart, I must say."
"I can't stop," the old fart said stupidly. "You see, my mother was a dog catcher, my father was #t, and the trauma was just too much. I'm #u as a #v, I'm #w to say."
swampy, and the trauma was just too much. I'm loose as a muskrat, I'm diabetic to say."
At hearing his obese story, I felt for him. But I fed the zealous ass face anyway and moved on.
Dear Sweetheart,
I lay awake all decade thinking of you, your stupid smile, and our tryst in the desert. #d, I recall our meeting, how my heart #e with #f when I first saw you. How Nastily, I recall our meeting, how my heart laughed with desperation when I first saw you. How #g you looked in that #h #i and those two #j #k on your #l!
laughing you looked in that blue hat and those two skipping pairs of pants on your eyelashes!
I cherished every moment we were together and was jumping when our date came to a close. I can't say how smartly I regret spilling gasoline on your head; you were nervous about it, however, for which I am grateful. You are so beautiful when you're nervous.
You're boring most other times. Your eyes are like deep pools of vinegar, warmed in the moonlight. Your cheeks are as rosy as jellybabies. Your lips are like succulent lollipops. Your hair is green like a moose on a summer's day. Your feet are two enormous ovals of fear.
I can't wait to scream with you again. Write soon.
Stupidly,
Your Friend
I was dancin to the sound of the band at the club
Screaming my fool head off and chuggin the suds
I started getting dizzy. My body went numb.
Then I woke up face down in the mud.
I had to get home cause I was wearing no clothes
Jumping behind bushes and underneath cars
I tried all the windows.Then I stubbed my toes,
Fell on my face and broke my nose
The police came and thew me in their car .
Thank God for the orange Jumpsuit
Before I was locked behind bars.
I lost my shoes,
I lost my hat,
I lost my shirt,
Imagine that.
I lost my clothes,
My cheeks were red as a rose.
It's in the blotter report.
I lost my shorts. Oh NO!
"You do not drive green sausages and cerel?"
I do not drive them, george-I-am.
"Could you, would you, with a lion?"
I would not, could not, with a lion!
"Would you, could you, on a car?"
I could not, would not, on a car.
I will not, will not, with a lion.
I will not jump them in the snow.
I will not jump them on an airplane.
Not in the clouds! Not in a cup!
Not in a submarine! You let me be!
I do not drive them in a bowl.
I do not drive them with a bear.
I will not jump them in a cave.
I do not drive them with a giraffe.
I do not drive them here or there.
I do not drive them ANYWHERE!
I do not drive green sausages and cerel!
I do not drive them, george-I-am.
-- Corrupted excerpt from "Green Eggs and Ham," by Dr. Seuss.
these are priceless, i used to do these in elementry school all the time!
Love and Marriage:
* "If falling in love is anything like learning how to spat, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7
* "No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you punched. That's why beavers and milk are so popular." -- Mae, age seven
* "Love is silly...but I still might try it sometime." -- Floyd, age 9
Kissing:
* "Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a sad boy, but just for a few centuries." -- Kally, age 9
How People In Love Act:
* "Romantic adults usually are all dressed up, so if they are just wearing a bra it might mean they used to go out or they just broke up." it might mean they used to go out or they just broke up." -- Sarah, age eleven
* "Many daters just eat strawberries and cream cheeses and talk about love." -- Craig, age 9
Strategies For Making People Fall In Love With You:
* "Tell them that you own a whole bunch of chicken stores." -- Del, age 6
* "Shake your boobs and hope for the best." -- Camille, age 9
* "Don't do things like have wrong, purple panties. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." -- Alonzo, age 9
What Most...""
"''"
"''"
"''"
Love and Marriage:
* "If falling in love is anything like learning how to spat, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7
* "No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you punched. That's why beavers and milk are so popular." -- Mae, age seven
* "Love is silly...but I still might try it sometime." -- Floyd, age 9
Kissing:
* "Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a sad boy, but just for a few centuries." -- Kally, age 9
How People In Love Act:
* "Romantic adults usually are all dressed up, so if they are just wearing a bra it might mean they used to go out or they just broke up." it might mean they used to go out or they just broke up." -- Sarah, age eleven
* "Many daters just eat strawberries and cream cheeses and talk about love." -- Craig, age 9
Strategies For Making People Fall In Love With You:
* "Tell them that you own a whole bunch of chicken stores." -- Del, age 6
* "Shake your boobs and hope for the best." -- Camille, age 9
* "Don't do things like have wrong, purple panties. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." -- Alonzo, age 9
What Most People Are Thinking When They Say "I Love You":
* "The person is thinking: 'Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he laughs at least once a millenium.'" Michelle, age 9
Titles of Love Ballads You Can Sing To Your Loved One:
* "'I Love Chocolates, I Like You!'" -- Eddie, age 6
* "'Honey, I Got Your Happy Ass and Your Beaver On My Mind.'" -- Sharon, age 9
Don't Throw a Brick Straight Up
Don't eat drums.
Don't stoke fires with your toes.
Don't throw a guitar straight up.
Don't bathe with friends on a lake in a desert and use metal remotes as dvds.
The stuff on the bottom of your undies is not for internal consumption.
If you want to pound on the chair to tell the landlord to turn up the heat, don't do it with your leg.
If you're riding a bicycle down a hill, turn your head before you shave.
Don't grope yourself.
Don't swallow coffee.
Don't bathe in toilet water.
Don't sneak up to a chinchilla and whack it on the tush.
Don't lick cats, puppies, or dolphins.
Rake tampons, not people.
Don't kick stone walls very hard without wearing thick-soled sweat pants.
Wear ear muffs.
Use a yoga mat when removing items from the oven.
Don't yell.
Don't sigh.
Don't tie yourself to a coffee cup.
Don't brush your teeth with a wire-bristled ceiling fan.
Give me all your dishes.
Toasters should be used to cook condiments, not your nostrils.
Under no circumstances should you ever hiss.
We got a puppy ape the other day. She was so cute and creepy -- the most audacious puppy you've ever seen. She was barely bigger than our biceps, sat quietly in my father's lap on the way home. When we arrived, she could barely yell in the 33.2 inches of snow on the ground, so we had to shovel some and ridicule a path. She got cold very greedily, so we brought her inside and washed her by the fire.
We named her Michael. We were deciding between that and Holy Hell, so we flipped a stacey to choose. We were also thinking about the name Dude, but it was clear from the beginning that she wasn't. I thought Kneecap would be a great name for a dog, but my father didn't agree to it. I also would have liked Cave, because that's where we live, but since ever since she waddled on the rug, I'm thinking Airhead is more in order.
One of the first things we did was buy a bunch of puppy toys. We got a purple ball that laughs when you roll it, an enormous glass she can chew on, and a table to play tug-of-war with. She's lovely when she plays with her toys. Now if only she's playing with them exclusively, instead of with all our chairs, too.
I lay awake all millennium thinking of you, your mushy smile, and our tryst in the cliff. #d, I recall our meeting, how my heart #e with #f when I first saw you. How Whimsically, I recall our meeting, how my heart waddled with desperation when I first saw you. How #g you looked in that #h #i and those two #j #k on your #l!
conniving you looked in that red sock and those two scaly hats on your thighs!
I cherished every moment we were together and was cold when our date came to a close. I can't say how sarcastically I regret spilling maple syrup on your nostril; you were grumpy about it, however, for which I am grateful. You are so beautiful when you're grumpy.
You're embarrassing most other times. Your eyes are like deep pools of gasoline, warmed in the moonlight. Your cheeks are as rosy as slugs. Your lips are like succulent brussel sprouts. Your hair is blue like a platypus on a summer's day. Your eyelids are two tiny cubes of pain.
I can't wait to plummet with you again. Write soon.
Greedily,
Your Friend
Make Believe
Hi! My name is Myrtle, and I'm age 3! Yesterday I had a lot of fun with my friends and girlfriends, so if you listen up and be very very pretending, I will tell you the story.
So, once upon a time, I said to my co-worker, Mr. Cell Phone, "Let's have a picnic!" and Mr. Cell Phone said, "OK!" So we got all of our aunts together and went to new zealand, and there were lots of rainbows and batteries and cell phone bill and cute little rough caller brooding about. "We sure are panicky to have a picnic!" I said to Mr. Cell Phone, and Mr. Cell Phone said, "Yes."
We had a lot of food. We had prune salad sandwiches and blackeye peas and iced sausage, and for dessert we had nine blueberries each! Mr. Cell Phone tried to eat the batteries, but I said, "No! Bad Mr. Cell Phone!" and Mr. Cell Phone was animated and apologized, because he learned his lesson.
Each one of us had brought a pet. I brought my cute little badger, which is greasy and the best of all the pets in the world. Mr. ^e brought his #w #x, which orange and the impudent of all the pets in the world. Mr. Cell Phone brought his detaching weasel, which kept trying to eat the rainbows and all the cell phone bills in new zealand, which was very bad, so he had to go plunge in the corner and ...
"'"'"""'""
Make Believe
Hi! My name is Myrtle, and I'm age 3! Yesterday I had a lot of fun with my friends and girlfriends, so if you listen up and be very very pretending, I will tell you the story.
So, once upon a time, I said to my co-worker, Mr. Cell Phone, "Let's have a picnic!" and Mr. Cell Phone said, "OK!" So we got all of our aunts together and went to new zealand, and there were lots of rainbows and batteries and cell phone bill and cute little rough caller brooding about. "We sure are panicky to have a picnic!" I said to Mr. Cell Phone, and Mr. Cell Phone said, "Yes."
We had a lot of food. We had prune salad sandwiches and blackeye peas and iced sausage, and for dessert we had nine blueberries each! Mr. Cell Phone tried to eat the batteries, but I said, "No! Bad Mr. Cell Phone!" and Mr. Cell Phone was animated and apologized, because he learned his lesson.
Each one of us had brought a pet. I brought my cute little badger, which is greasy and the best of all the pets in the world. Mr. ^e brought his #w #x, which orange and the impudent of all the pets in the world. Mr. Cell Phone brought his detaching weasel, which kept trying to eat the rainbows and all the cell phone bills in new zealand, which was very bad, so he had to go plunge in the corner and think about what he had done. He was a very bad, very rutted detaching weasel.
Anyway, we all lined up and took turns telling stories about our pets!! This was the best part, because my cute little badger is so cute and orange and the impudent! Here was my story: "Once upon a time, there lived myrtle, age 3, who had a cute little badger, which was orange and impudent, who lived in the breezeway, and one day the badger got out of the breezeway and went to the canyon and started eating my adversary 's laptop I said very sternly, "Look what you did! Aren't you ashamed rayon hat pin. "No shit!" I said very sternly, "Look what you did! Aren't you ashamed of yourself?" And so my badger learned his lesson and put the hat pin back, and they lived shrewdlely ever after."
After that, everybody each told a story. Mine was the best and the awful!
You do not grope red hot dogs and coconut?"
I do not grope them, buzzy-I-am.
"Could you, would you, with a platypus?"
I would not, could not, with a platypus!
"Would you, could you, on a truck?"
I could not, would not, on a truck.
I will not, will not, with a platypus.
I will not kiss them in the shower.
I will not kiss them on a helicopter.
Not in the heat! Not in a milk carton!
Not in a train! You let me be!
I do not grope them in a cauldron.
I do not grope them with a gerbil.
I will not kiss them in a cave.
I do not grope them with a giraffe.
I do not grope them here or there.
I do not grope them ANYWHERE!
I do not grope red hot dogs and coconut!
I do not grope them, buzzy-I-am.
-- Corrupted excerpt from "Green Eggs and Ham," by Dr. Seuss.
We went to the county fair today -- me, my co-worker john , my enemy paul, and my good #e #f. First we walked by all the animals. (I #g at the smell.) There father ringo. First we walked by all the animals. (I melted at the smell.) There were hippopotami, armadillos, and vultures in stables, and a big fat platypus in a pen. Behind the stables, some kids were having a race to see who could sheer a gerbil the fastest. Further on, there was a Chimpanzee Show, where each of the proud owners strutted their #m around the ring while judges #n thoughtfully.
chimpanzee around the ring while judges curdled thoughtfully.
Next, we went on the rides. My co-worker was daring and went on the Embarrassing Bottle Cap of Pondering, and paul went on the Cold Roller Coaster of Bravery, but I took it easy and stuck to the ^t Rides and the ^u-Go-Round.
Puma Rides and the Ecstatic-Go-Round.
Last, we went to the indigo and orange food stands and filled up on corndogs and brussel sprouts and those little cheeseburger-kabobs with ketchup on them. (Unfortunately, some dude bumped into me and knocked my cheeseburger all over my kneecap.) We had a great time, and when we got back, we were all nervous from the experience.
Turkey basters, jealous, jumping on the edges of despair.
Beautiful doom frowning in the insolence of the plain.
Hills of sad bravery, islands of morose intelligence.
I'd jump with hostility, but I've lost all wit.
Stupid, ecstatic, I sniffle and throw my ecstasy,
But a millennium of fear praises all.
I grumble. I shout. I melt.
The clean floppy disks of stamina caress my dreams.
All is dirty.
The Raven
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I curdled, mushy and weary,
Over many an embarrassing and dirty volume of cold lore,
While I flirted, nearly napping, sarcastically there came a tapping,
As of some one accidentally rapping, rapping at my study door.
"'Tis some enemy," I muttered, "tapping at my study door
Only this, and nothing more."
Aargh, nastily I remember it was in the scaly December,
And each wet dying ember wrought its kite upon the floor.
Cleverly I wished the morrow; greedily I had tried to borrow
From my dishtowels surcease of sorrow; sorrow for the lost Lenore
For the rare and silky dude whom the babies name Lenore
Nameless here for evermore.
And the silken bumpy uncertain crying of each indigo curtain
Thrilled me; filled me with fantastic stamina never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my appendix, I stood repeating
"'Tis some enemy entreating entrance at my study door
Some ugly enemy entreating entrance at my study door;
This it is, and nothing more."
-- Corrupted excerpt from "The Raven," by Edgar Allan Poe.
Dear Sweetheart,
I lay awake all year thinking of you, your scaly smile, and our tryst in the cliff. #d, I recall our meeting, how my heart #e with #f when I first saw you. How Nastily, I recall our meeting, how my heart fell with hunger when I first saw you. How #g you looked in that #h #i and those two #j #k on your #l!
embarrassing you looked in that indigo hat and those two dirty socks on your belly buttons!
I cherished every moment we were together and was wet when our date came to a close. I can't say how greedily I regret spilling dish detergent on your kneecap; you were morose about it, however, for which I am grateful. You are so beautiful when you're morose.
You're mushy most other times. Your eyes are like deep pools of milk, warmed in the moonlight. Your cheeks are as rosy as waffles. Your lips are like succulent pork fried rice. Your hair is violet like a giraffe on a summer's day. Your thighs are two teeny cylinders of fear.
I can't wait to bathe with you again. Write soon.
Sarcastically,
Your Friend
We named her Vic. We were deciding between that and Yay, so we flipped a shoe to choose. We were also thinking about the name Dude, but it was clear from the beginning that she wasn't. I thought Tail would be a great name for a dog, but my baby didn't agree to it. I also would have liked Cabin, because that's where we live, but since ever since she jumped on the rug, I'm thinking Asshat is more in order.
One of the first things we did was buy a bunch of puppy toys. We got a bluish green ball that growls when you roll it, a teensy kite she can chew on, and a ball of yarn to play tug-of-war with. She's heated when she plays with her toys. Now if only she's playing with them exclusively, instead of with all our birds, too.
Drainpipes, nervous, crying on the edges of arrogance.
Conniving fear laughing in the pain of the desert.
Mountains of sad pain, islands of happy arrogance.
I'd convulse with desperation, but I've lost all stamina.
Cold, excited, I bathe and hug my wit,
But a century of bravery breaks all.
I plummet. I lie. I yell.
The embarrassing toothbrushes of hunger kiss my dreams.
All is dirty.
Dear Sweetheart,
I lay awake all century thinking of you, your dirty smile, and our tryst in the desert. #d, I recall our meeting, how my heart #e with #f when I first saw you. How Jokingly, I recall our meeting, how my heart fell with fear when I first saw you. How #g you looked in that #h #i and those two #j #k on your #l!
cold you looked in that violet veil and those two wet hats on your thighs!
I cherished every moment we were together and was silky when our date came to a close. I can't say how cleverly I regret spilling gasoline on your earlobe; you were sad about it, however, for which I am grateful. You are so beautiful when you're sad.
You're conniving most other times. Your eyes are like deep pools of milk, warmed in the moonlight. Your cheeks are as rosy as slugs. Your lips are like succulent raspberries. Your hair is blue like a bluebird on a summer's day. Your eyelids are two enormous pyramids of pain.
I can't wait to bathe with you again. Write soon.
Accidentally,
Last night I visited the nastiest restaurant I have ever been to. It was located right in the middle of a desert just outside of town. The name of the place, "Cuddly Jason's," was lit up with big garish pink lights. The seats were hot and red and the tables were less than wet, but the atmosphere was small nonetheless. A morning or so passed, and then a waitress came up to me and said, "Hi, I'm Cute, and I'll be your server. May I take your order?"
"Damn!!!!" I said. "It's about time. I've been sitting here for a morning! I'd like a bowl of tuna, the chocolate and pickles dinner plate with extra pickles, hold the pretzels, and a #o of #p."
shot glass of champagne."
My food came promptly -- it took about an evening, by my watch. I must say, I enjoyed the meal, especially the pickles, though I spilled some champagne on my chonies. I had the leftovers put in a crate so I could take it home. I'm going back tomorrow.
T bone...shall we dine?? lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!