All of these are good and number 11 reminds me of what I’d like to do sometime and that is to have a recording ready, the recording has the sound of a doorbell and gun shots on it, then when a telemarketer calls you, after a few seconds of them talking to you, you turn on the recording and it plays the doorbell, then you tell them to hang on while you answer the door, then on the recorder also have the sounds of gun shots ring out, all the while your shouting, screaming, maybe have also sounds of things crashing around and then everything goes silent, leaving the phone off the hook a little while before actually hanging up.
Hopefully if that telemarketer has any conscious they may call it in to the police to check out your address. When all is fine, then maybe the caller would get into trouble for calling the police for calling in a false report.
I still have not done that yet, but I’m getting close to finally making that recording…haha.
I have a business and sometimes I’ll turn things around and start telling them all about what I do…that’s fun also.
Another idea is to agree with them, then ask them to call you on your home phone, which actually the number you give them will be your local police department. That’s a good one too…haha
Fun things to reply to a Telemarketer
Jordyn ~Nerdfighter~
2010/08/17 01:48:38
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can't sell to employees.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up.
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .
20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
NOTICE: The above have all been tested and approved for use on telemarketers. No animals were harmed in the testing
Top Opinion
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Duke----The Non Racist, Fun... 2010/08/17 03:02:05
Telemarketer: "Hey, this is Hannah from a company called Whatever-"
You: Hey, ain't you da wun dat slept wit my husband, bitch?!" (Act ghetto)
Telemarketer: "(nervous laugh) What?"
You: "(threatening voice) I haven't see ya in a while, girl. I've been lookin'
I'm so going to use one of these the next time that one calls.
Telemarketer: "High, I'm Eggbert from-"
You: (act like you're in a horror movie) "Why do you keep calling me, you perv?! What do you want from me?!"
Telemarketer: "Ummmmm...I'm sorry, what?"
You: "Why do you keep calling?! Why are you doing this?!" (Make hysterical sobbing noises)
This is perfect for Halloween. :)
Happy Halloween!
Have a good one! Thanks. :D
A telemarketer called. :) I used the horror one I mentioned above. He hung up on me LOL.
P.S., Ikuto's hot.
Normally, I don't like cats, but Ikuto's so cute and cuddly.
At first I thought that Ikuto was a bad guy. In a way, yeah, but that only makes him hotter. ;)
1. If they ask for your parents tell them a) (depending on what they're selling, example car insurance) that you parents just had some terrible tragic accident BECAUSE of what they are selling. b) "Ya, they're home, but my mom is outside training our German Shepard and my dad is polishing his ___(insert description) rifle. note: B works great with door to door too :P
2. Say random things throughout the duration of the spiel. (i.e. YOU STOLE THE GRAPEFRUIT!!!! I loved that tire. Wow that is a weird cloud. Did you have your voice changed to make this call?) Its fun. Sorry, I can't promise that no telemarketers were harmed for this research :P OOPS
Hopefully if that telemarketer has any conscious they may call it in to the police to check out your address. When all is fine, then maybe the caller would get into trouble for calling the police for calling in a false report.
I still have not done that yet, but I’m getting close to finally making that recording…haha.
I have a business and sometimes I’ll turn things around and start telling them all about what I do…that’s fun also.
Another idea is to agree with them, then ask them to call you on your home phone, which actually the number you give them will be your local police department. That’s a good one too…haha