For shooters only!
An attorney was driving through the country side
when his car failed him.
He looked under the hood and knocked a few items
around with a hammer. In
the process he knocked off a gas line and got his
arm soaked with gas before
getting it back on. Discouraged, he attempted to
start his car. Much to
his surprise it started and he headed for the
nearest town for a permanent
To celebrate his success he lit up a cigarette, at
which time his arm
exploded into flames. He stuck his arm out the window
hoping the wind at 50
miles per hour would put it out. He was promptly
pulled over by a local
constable and given a ticket for an illegal use of
In light of the rising frequency of human and grizzly bear
Alaska Department of Fish and Game has issued the
following advisory to
hikers, hunters, and fishermen while in the field:
It is strongly advised that outdoorsmen wear noisy
little bells on their
clothing so as not to startle grizzly bears that
outdoorsmen to be walking in their habitat. It is
also strongly advised
that outdoorsmen carry non-lethal pepper spray
with them in case of an
encounter with a grizzly. The Department of
Natural Resources for Alaska
states it is a good idea to watch out for fresh
signs of bear activity.
Outdoorsmen should be able to recognize the
difference between black bear
and grizzly bear poop. Black bear poop is smaller
and contains lots of
berries and often squirrel fur. Grizzly bear poop
is larger, has little
bells in it and smells like pepper.
One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing
through a small town.
Everywhere he saw evidences of the most amazing
shooting. On trees, on
walls, and on fences there were numerous
bull's-eyes with the bullet hole in
dead center. The FBI man asked one of the townsmen
if he could meet the
person responsible for this wonderful
marksmanship. The man turned out to
be the village idiot.
"This is the best marksmanship I have ever
seen," said the FBI man. "How in
the world do you do it?"
"Nothing to it," said the idiot. "I
shoot first and draw the circles
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