Female suicide Bombers to get 72 virgins

A long-held belief of male suicide bombers has been that they will get
72 pristine teenage virgins if they die during an act of "Holy Jihad".
Now, in a move that will shock many, controversial Imam, Mustapha Fatwa,
has announced that female martyrs will also now receive 72 male teenage
virgins from Allah if they give their lives during an act of Holy
Jihad.

Fatwa explained: "Islam has long been accused of
oppression of women, but now we are doing something to address the
balance! Why shouldn't our female freedom fighters also receive the gift
of teenage virgins from Allah? They too have needs!"

Fatwa is
considered something of a moderate among radical hate-mongers and many
have critisised his stance. Nima Burka, spokesperson for womens group
DMBLBIT (Does My Bomb Look Big In This) said "What an insane notion, why
would any women want 72 teenage boys. Think of all the hormones, the
sulking, the mood-swings, not to mention the sexual act would be over in
minutes. This is craziness!"

Fatwa counters the criticism by
explaining "What people are not considering is that 72 male virgins
having sex for 1 to 2 minutes each, well, this could add up to an hour
and half....maybe two hours! It is no so bad when you think about it!
Allah Akbar!"

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