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FACTS THAT PROVE DIETING NEVER WORKS!!!

K-ZOOMI-----0 2012/05/15 00:59:34
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  • U-Dog 2012/05/15 01:41:50
    "What Is Wrong With BEER???"
    U-Dog
    +8
    Bachelor's Diet

    MONDAY:

    BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth

    LUNCH - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.

    AFTERNOON SNACK - Drink the maalox

    DINNER - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.


    -----------------------------...
    TUESDAY:

    BREAKFAST - Eat the coleslaw

    LUNCH - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.

    DINNER - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.


    -----------------------------...
    WEDNESDAY:

    BREAKFAST - Jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho's

    LUNCH - Rolaids and a coke

    DINNER - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps


    -----------------------------...
    THURSDAY:

    BREAKFAST - Order out for pizza

    LUNCH - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.

    DINNER - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.


    ----...


























    Bachelor's Diet

    MONDAY:

    BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth

    LUNCH - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.

    AFTERNOON SNACK - Drink the maalox

    DINNER - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.


    -----------------------------...
    TUESDAY:

    BREAKFAST - Eat the coleslaw

    LUNCH - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.

    DINNER - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.


    -----------------------------...
    WEDNESDAY:

    BREAKFAST - Jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho's

    LUNCH - Rolaids and a coke

    DINNER - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps


    -----------------------------...
    THURSDAY:

    BREAKFAST - Order out for pizza

    LUNCH - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.

    DINNER - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.


    -----------------------------...
    FRIDAY:

    BREAKFAST - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's better for you.

    LUNCH - Skip lunch, Fridays are murder

    DINNER - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.


    -----------------------------...
    SATURDAY:

    BREAKFAST - Sleep through it.

    LUNCH - Ditto

    DINNER - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.


    -----------------------------...
    SUNDAY:

    BREAKFAST - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.

    LUNCH - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.

    DINNER - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.
    (more)

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