Epic story of Easter and Christmas
logical thinker 2011/12/29 07:55:44
The epic story of both easter and christmas ~~~
Jesus wanted to go into town for some action one night, wishing to score with the ladies he called his mate judas and asked if he would be his wingman. Judas was not feeling the vibe and wimped out on jesus at the last moment. Jesus saw this betrayal and thought "fuck it, its getting late" ~ so jesus decided to go by himself...
Along the way jesus came across a big red van. next to the van was a man in a red suit and a man in a rabbit suit. Jesus saw this as strange and decided to ask the gentlemen what they were doing. The man in the rabbit suit said to jesus he was a child sex offender.
The rabbit then explained he entices children into his van with chocolate and candy eggs. because children love candy and chocolate and everybody loves eggs right? the rabbit then explained how he would pretend to hide these little treats in all kinds of places for the young ones to explore.
then the man in the red suit gave his story and explained his name was Santa. He too was a child molester, and explained to jesus that he took pleasure from having random children sit on his lap if he promised them all kinds of toys and magic tricks. Then he explained how he was arrested a few times for breaking into houses. his trademark was the open chimney as dorrs and windows are normally locked.
Shocked by this jesus then said to the pair.... "oh yee of little faith"~ jesus then described how he was also a child predator and explained that he could make the children do whatever he wanted without getting into trouble and also without people seeing it as wrong. Jesus then explained that all of his deciples were doing it too.
This explains about 90% of catholic preists and their chior boys. So jesus the man in the red suit and the man in the rabbit suit became friends and decided to hang out at the local school the next day instead of going into town that night. Jesus also decided to give his new best friends a public holiday each and a get out of jail free card because jesus had a very high profile lawer for a dad (God).
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