Busted...

So WE got busted the other day,

I was walking my dog in
the park and an officer walked up and asked for license, shots tags etc.
I
complied, Then he asked me, "Do you know why I am pulling you over
tonight?"
I replied, "I think we are both walking".





I thought it
might be my van or my politically incorrect t-shirt but I remained,
silent.

"Funny Guy, We don't like pediphiles around here.
I replied,
"Is there some lurking about?, I have never met a real one"
I was then
searched, 35 cents, half a joint, 2 pieces of candy and a cough drop were found
in my possession.
Funny man now in handcuffs and placed in a patrol
car.

The officer joined me and told me I was in big trouble, but I could
deal my way out.
He asked me if I knew what day it was?
No
Do you know
what time it is?
No
Do you know where you are?
Somewhere in
Maryland?
Three strikes...
"Exactly what are the charges? I
asked?

Smoking out doors,
Small amount of controled substance for
sale
Selling drugs in Park or school area
Walking a dog in a forbidden
public area,
Walking a dog under the influence of drugs or alcohol,
SEVEN
counts Endangering welfare of children,
Endangering welfare of a
dog,
Walking a dog with leash too long,
Carrying pediphile
tools,
Failure to register as sex offender,
Solicitation of
prositute?
That one is for Pee wee, he pissed on that hookers leg,
who
happens to be my partner undercover and
peeing on the leg is clearly
solicitation of a sex act...

I explained to the officer that dogs were allowed in the park... NO more he
said, but "they have a poop bag stand?"
"They didn't take it down
yet..."
"I told him I had not tested positive for anything?"
"You are
obviously high on something..."

Endangering the welfare I asked?
You
let several children pet your dog thus endangering all of them.
Sex
offender?
Records show you were busted for public urination in
1963...

I agreed to plead guilty to pediphile tools (candy)
Leash too long 5 feet
limit.
He agreed to let me slide on the weed if he could keep
it.
Meanwhile Pee wee pooped on the ground and pissed on the car
tire.
followed ticket for non-compliance of pooper scoop law.

I was then lead back to my Van, to be set free,.
Officer Obie looked in
and said. "I don't see any dog restraint?"
Back to four tickets, total fines
$420, so it's okay.

"Welcome to New Jersey enjoy your stay"
I turned
back towards Maryland and when I arrived the State police were
waiting...