A FEW WORDS FROM MAXINE
- 2010/02/06 01:48:01
- Read all 58 opinions
It's "...one nation UNDER GOD..." or bite my skinny butt an leave!
If you must burn our flag, please wrap it around yourself first!
NOW, A FEW WORDS FROM MAXINE
Maxine on "Lawn Care""The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless."
Maxine on "The Perfect Man" "All I'm looking for is a guy who'll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed."
Maxine on "Technology Revolution""My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice."
Maxine on "Aging""Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a Margarita."
Don't let aging get you down, It's to hard to get back up!
If you woke up breathing, congratlations! you have another chance.
"I'm telling you ... she's the perfect candidate."
"The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals."
"The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket."
"To err is human; to forgive, highly unlikely."
"Do you realize that in about forty years, we'll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos and pierced navels?"(Now that's scary!)
"Money can't buy happiness--but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than a Kia."
"After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching somewhere....you may be dead."
- NO ONE BELIEVES SENIORS
- MY EVIL BROTHER WAS A SAINT
- PRIEST VERSUS ASTRONOMER
- ELMER FUDD
- THE CLINTONS AT THE WEDDING
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