A few Biker jokes!

Too Little, Too Late

A guy is at the Pearly Gates, hoping to
be admitted, and St. Peter says to the guy, "I can't see that you did
anything really good in your life, but you never did anything bad either. I
tell you what, if you can tell me one really good deed that you did, you're
in."

So
the guy says, "Once I was driving down the road and saw a gang of bikers
assaulting this poor girl. So I pulled over, got out my car, grabbed a tire
iron and walked straight up to the gang's leader--a huge ugly guy with a
studded leather jacket, bald head but with hair all over his body, and a chain
running from his nose to his ear.

Undaunted,
I ripped the chain out of his nose and ear and smashed him over the head with
the tire iron. Then I turned around and, wielding my tire iron, yelled to the
rest of them, 'You leave this poor, innocent lady alone! You're all a bunch of
sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'"

Impressed,
St. Peter says, "Really? I can't seem to find this in your file. When did
this happen?"

"Oh,
about two minutes ago."

The
Biker & the Whore

A road-wary old biker walks into a saloon to have a cold beer after a
long, dusty ride. At the end of the bar, he sees a rather good-looking
"lady of the evening". She smiles at him and asks if he's looking for
a good time. Well, having been some time since his last snarlin' he accepts.
After agreeing on a price, she escorts him up to her room and they start
humpin'. After about 10 minutes of furious banging the old biker asks:

"So
babe, how am I doin'?"

She
replies:

"You're
doin' 3 "knots".

"3
knots?.... What's that mean?" replies the biker.

She
said:

"You're
NOT hard, you're NOT in and you're NOT getting your money back!"

Added morsel!

There were two guys riding motorcycles
on a windy afternoon. One of the guys was complaining because the cold air was
blowing into his shirt. His buddy told him to turn his jacket around, so that
the collar of the jacket would be at his neck. That way no air could get into
his shirt. So that is what he did.

After
riding for a while the two men came up on a curve. They were going too fast and
they crashed. Witnesses called 911 and rushed to the motorcyclists aid.

When
the police arrived, they were doing a report. The police asked a witness if
both of the men were deceased when they got to the scene.