A couple jokes for the night!
A husband and
wife are traveling by car from Atlanta to New York. After almost twenty-four
hours on the road, they decide to stop at a nice hotel and take a room. They
only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they
check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350. The man
explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk
although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the
clerk explains that $350 is the standard rate, the man insists
on speaking to the manager.
The manager enters the conversation and explains
that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which
were available for the husband and wife to use.
He also explains that they could have taken in one
of the shows, which the hotel is famous for. "The best entertainers from
New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,"
explains the manager.
No matter what facility the manager mentions, the
man replies, "But we didn't use it!"
The manager is unmoved. Eventually the man gives
up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and hands it to the manager. "But
sir," the managers says, "this check is only made out for $100."
"That's right," replies the man. "I
charged you $250 for sleeping with my wife."
"What! I didn't sleep with your wife!"
exclaims the manager.
"Well," the man replies, "she was
here, and you could have."
A Mom is driving a little girl to her friend’s house for a play
date. "Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?" The
mother looks over at the little girl, "Honey, you are not supposed to ask
a lady her age, it isn't polite." the mother warns. "Ok," the
little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"
"Now really," the mother says, "these are personal questions and
are really none of your business." Undaunted, the little girl asks,
"Why did you and daddy get a divorce?"
"That is enough questions, honestly!" The exasperated mother walks
away as the two friends begin to play.
"My Mom wouldn't tell me anything," the little girl says
to her friend. "Well," said the friend, "all you need to do is
look at her driver's license. It is like a report card, it has everything on
night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are
32." The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that
"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds." The mother is past surprise
and shock now. "How in heavens name did you find that out?" The
little girl continues on triumphantly, "And... I know why you and daddy
"Oh really?", the mother asks, "Why is that?" To which the
girl replies, "Because you got an F in sex."