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Why teachers drink... A GED TEST

Cat 2011/04/13 17:57:08
Related Topics: Saw, Airport, Moon, Death














Q. Name the four seasons
A.
Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q.
Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink
A.
Flirtation makes
water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead
sheep and canoeists

Q.
How is dew formed
A. The
sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q.
What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The
tides are a fight between the
earth
and the moon
. All
water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no
water
on the moon
, and
nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q.
What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If
you are buying a house they will insist that you are well
endowed

Q.
In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very
important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q.
What are steroids

A.
Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs &...
(Shoot
yourself now , there is little hope)

Q..
What happens to your body as you age
A. When
you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q.
What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He
says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery &nbsp...
(So
true)

Q.
Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A.
Premature
death


Q.
What is
artificial
insemination

A. When
the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q.
How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep
it in the cow &nbs...
(Simple,
but brilliant)

Q.
How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The
abdomen)
A. The
body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal
cavity
. The
brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the
abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. ...
(wtf!)
&...

Q.
What is the fibula?
A. A
small lie

Q.
What does 'varicose' mean?
A.
Nearby

Q.
What is the most common form of
birth
control


A. Most
people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium &n...
(That
would work)

Q.
Give the meaning of the term '
Caesarean
section
'
A. The
caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q.
What is a seizure?
A. A
Roman
Emperor
. ...
(Julius
Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q.
What is a
terminal
illness

A.
When you are sick at the airport. &nbsp...
(Irrefutable)

Q.
Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A.
Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
umbrellas

Q.
Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its
meaning
A.
Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. &n...
(OMG)

Q.
What does the word 'benign' mean?
A.
Benign is what you will be after you be eight

(brilliant)


Q. What is a turbine?
A.
Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his
head



HOPE THIS MADE YOUR DAY BETTER! Cat

nbspq turbine arab shreik wears head nbsp nbsphope cat



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Top Opinion

  • lrb 2011/04/13 18:19:04
    lrb
    +8
    I think that I've worked with some of the people who gave those answers.

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Opinions

  • sardonicist BN-0 2011/04/17 06:40:21
    sardonicist BN-0
    Why are you all insisting that these are answers from liberals? What is the source anyways?
  • Texas Johnny 2011/04/14 19:55:49
    Texas Johnny
    You can't fix stupid!!!
  • bob 2011/04/14 18:22:34
    bob
    Ha Ha funny, although sad if true
  • Louis 2011/04/14 18:15:52
    Louis
    +1
    HAHA...Funny:)
  • Sawdust_128 2011/04/14 15:59:38
    Sawdust_128
    It's even funnier when you think that any one of those could be your next co-worker............for a couple of days anyway. Then you'll be working and they will be collecting and voting for Obama. Who's smarter?
  • La 2011/04/14 15:03:07
    La
    Hmm
  • seadog6608PWCM 2011/04/14 14:05:17
  • BoomLover 2011/04/14 05:51:03
    BoomLover
    Great ones! ...and under the category of "Brilliant Idiots"...actually, either the teacher wasn't getting the point across, or the students just weren't paying attention!
  • siQwithaQ 2011/04/14 04:39:36
    siQwithaQ
    +1
    I LOVE IT!
  • Bulldog 2011/04/14 01:36:42
    Bulldog
    +2
    Well, this explains alot!

    But why do the teachers blame the students when it is clear that there were so many years that they could have weeded out the stupid kids and kept them back?

    Oh...wait...I forgot, they are not allowed to hold stupid kids back.

    Yep! That would make me drink too! Just reading that and imagining having to try and teach such idiots makes me want a drink now!

    Sorry teachers! you sure have a rough job!
  • Mike 2011/04/14 01:16:40
    Mike
    +2
    These are the people that vote for libatards
  • BoomLover Mike 2011/04/14 05:51:56
    BoomLover
    *Libtards*
  • Torchmanner ~PWCM~JLA 2011/04/14 01:12:39
    Torchmanner ~PWCM~JLA
    +2
    It is a shame what our education system has become.
  • flrdsgns 2011/04/14 00:00:50
    flrdsgns
    +2
    Those are great, reminds me of the old Art Linkletter show: Kids say the darndest things
  • Greg 2011/04/13 22:15:22 (edited)
  • George 2011/04/13 21:51:58
    George
    +4
    This is why liberals and public schools thrive. Stupidity.
    If ever there was an arguement for liberal birth control, this would be it.
  • Yankee Traveler 2011/04/13 21:26:35
    Yankee Traveler
    +4
    That was funny!!!!! But really........I work with people that aren't even that smart!
  • jumpboots 187th PIR 2011/04/13 21:26:29
    jumpboots 187th PIR
    +3
    They are out there.
  • BoomLover jumpboo... 2011/04/14 05:52:35
    BoomLover
    +1
    ...and they multiply!
  • sglmom 2011/04/13 21:02:47
    sglmom
    +5
    LOL! (Sure this is not from some of the Employees that I've had the displeasure of supervising?)
  • Austin Smith 2011/04/13 20:57:45
    Austin Smith
    +3
    Hey man i think that was my test just kidding.
  • Murph 65 2011/04/13 20:30:05
    Murph 65
    +4
    This one came across my computer a while back and I saved it. Sometimes on a bad day I bring it up just so I can read what benign is what you will be after you be eight. I still get to laughing every time.
  • Drew~PWCM~JLA~ 2011/04/13 18:59:22
  • cmdrbnd007 2011/04/13 18:41:40
  • Will Advocate of PHAET 2011/04/13 18:34:18
    Will Advocate of  PHAET
    +6
    Ha Ha! I love the benign one!
  • Murph 65 Will Ad... 2011/04/13 20:31:12
    Murph 65
    +4
    That's my favorite.
  • Steverno~POTL~PWCM~JLA 2011/04/13 18:30:50
    Steverno~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +5
    No wonder,that a lot of today's kids are as dumb as a rock!They have know-nothing teachers,"educating" them.
  • ★Calliope★ Stevern... 2011/04/13 18:40:50
    ★Calliope★
    +5
    Can't fire the bad ones.

    Here in NY we have thousands that are sitting on their ass collecting a paycheck while they are prohibited from teaching for CAUSE.
  • Murph 65 Stevern... 2011/04/13 20:32:06
    Murph 65
    +4
    Or the teachers have kids they can't motivate past an iPod, or whatever hand-held game, or cell phone.
  • lrb 2011/04/13 18:19:04
    lrb
    +8
    I think that I've worked with some of the people who gave those answers.
  • Murph 65 lrb 2011/04/13 20:32:32
    Murph 65
    +4
    I know I have.
  • thegalnextdoor 2011/04/13 18:18:33
    thegalnextdoor
    +6
    This former teacher says, time to get some coffee.... thanks cat!
  • keeper 2011/04/13 18:10:55
    keeper
    +6
    Hell Cat... those could make me drink!!! LOL
  • Caitlin ~American Patriot~ 2011/04/13 18:08:13
    Caitlin ~American Patriot~
    +6
    I got this in an email several months ago! It's soo funny, hehe!
  • tommyg - POTL- PWCM-JLA 2011/04/13 18:07:50
    tommyg - POTL- PWCM-JLA
    +6
    Thanks for the laugh Cat. Worth the read.
  • U-Dog 2011/04/13 18:06:55
    U-Dog
    +8
    Well, try to look on the bright side. They are still doing as well as many of the four year college grads these days.

    Cheers! bright year college grads days cheers
  • kent U-Dog 2011/04/13 22:01:26
    kent
    +2
    Benign...out of ten this be nine....

    Actually 94 out of a hundred in the whisky bible. an old favorite of mine. Never met a Macallan I didn't like.
  • kent kent 2011/04/14 01:29:12
    kent
    +1
    Re reading my comment I see I give the impression this certain Macallan was an old favorite of mine,, actually I haven't tried that one particularly but Macallan in other forms from 12 year old to 30 have been an old favorite.
  • Allbiz - PWCM - JLA 2011/04/13 18:05:51
    Allbiz - PWCM - JLA
    +8
    And I always though my school records were safe from the public.
  • ★Calliope★ Allbiz ... 2011/04/13 18:41:21

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