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Who Is the Lamest Excuse for a Country Singer?

SodaHead Slideshows 2010/11/11 17:00:00

SLIDESHOW: Who Is the Phoniest Country Singer?

Gwyneth Paltrow
1 of 7

Gwyneth Paltrow

Miranda Lambert praised Paltrow's performance of "Country Strong" at Wednesday's CMA Awards, but the L.A.- and NYC-raised actress just doesn't feel country to us.
  1. Gwyneth Paltrow

    Gwyneth Paltrow

    Miranda Lambert praised Paltrow's performance of "Country Strong" at Wednesday's CMA Awards, but the L.A.- and NYC-raised actress just doesn't feel country to us.

  2. Jessica Simpson

    Jessica Simpson

    Simpson calls Dolly Parton her idol, but the pop star's attempt to perform "9 to 5" at the 2006 Kennedy Center Honors fell infamously flat.

  3. Kevin Costner

    Kevin Costner

    Costner has his own country rock band, the eponymous Kevin Costner and Modern West. Who knew? But we think Costner's about as believable as a country star as he is as Whitney's Houston's bodyguard.

  4. Jewel

    Jewel

    Jewel is commonly known as the pop star who used to live in her car. But she released her first country record, "Perfectly Clear," in 2008.

  5. Darius Rucker

    Darius Rucker

    Hootie & the Blowfish are pretty much synonymous with mainstream pop, but in 2008, lead singer Darius Rucker signed to Capitol Records Nashville as a country music artist.

  6. Jon Bon Jovi

    Jon Bon Jovi

    You may associate him with '80s hair bands, but in 2006, Bon Jovie's duet version of "Who Says You Can't Go Home" with country singer Jennifer Nettles was a hit on the country music chart.

  7. Olivia Newton-John

    Olivia Newton-John

    In the '70s, Newton-John had country hits with "Let Me Be There" and "I Honestly Love You." At the time, purists said the English-born, Aussie-raised singer did not belong in country music.

Who Is the Lamest Excuse for a Country Singer?
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Gwyneth Paltrow is not exactly our idea of a country music star. Tall, patrician and impossibly slender, the Oscar-winning actress is what we think of in New York City as Upper East Side royalty. She attended the elite Spence school for girls in New York, and her parents were rich and famous Hollywood types from L.A.

In other words, she wasn't exactly crying into a bottle of beer over her break-up with Brad Pitt. More like champagne, if anything.

But like her old buddy Madonna, Gwyn is known for personality transformations. Not too long ago, she attracted public ridicule for her lifestyle newsletter GOOP -- which apparently is meant to teach peons like us to be as skinny and perfect as she is.

So we can't take her all that seriously when the GOOP goddess tries to sell herself as a country star to promote her new movie "Country Song," out Dec. 22. Sure, her performance of the title song at Wednesday night's CMA Awards wasn't bad, but it wasn't really country, either.

That said, Paltrow received a warm welcome (and a standing ovation) from legitimate country stars.

"Gwyneth is a great singer. She did a great job, I think," Miranda Lambert told USA Today after the show. "She sounded really country, I think."

We'll admit we were impressed that she played the guitar. But overall, Paltrow belongs at the CMAs about as much as Dolly Parton fits in on Park Avenue, doncha think?

Click through our slideshow and tell us: Who is the lamest excuse for a country singer?

Read More: http://content.usatoday.com/communities/entertainm...

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Top Opinion

  • Terry ~Conservitive Warrior~ 2010/11/11 22:25:58 (edited)
    None of the above
    Terry ~Conservitive Warrior~
    +9
    Where's Taylor Swift on this list?

    Anyway, most of today's country singers suck. They all sound more like pop singers.

    But there are a few today that are real country singers. Like George Strait and Alan Jackson


    These are REAL country singers.






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Opinions

  • RichLeary 2011/09/26 04:20:17
    None of the above
    RichLeary
    Let's see..Taylor Swift uses way too many vocal effects to sound good..then there was that Half talented Ass Clown Billy Ray The Virus.. that Spawned Miley...Hmmm...
  • Tasha Goodger 2011/07/04 15:26:53
    None of the above
    Tasha Goodger
    I hate when people try to go country when they weren't raised that way!!!
  • disclaimer 2010/11/27 09:39:50
    None of the above
    disclaimer
    Wait.............Jessica Simpson is a country singer? Ohhhhhh..........that's why she's famous. I'm undecided though, there are probably some worse ones out there.
  • Orangedragan 2010/11/20 03:45:40
    None of the above
    Orangedragan
    They all are. I have a joke that pretty much sums up country music in general:

    What happens when you play a country song backwards?

    You get your wife back, you get your house back, you get your truck back, you get your dog back...
  • Caulfield, the Skywalker 2010/11/18 16:19:05
    None of the above
    Caulfield, the Skywalker
  • Bob 2010/11/18 01:38:31
    Jessica Simpson
    Bob
    Jessica (Bart Simpson's sister) is the lamest excuse for *any* role she chooses to play, except maybe if her voice joined the Simpson TV cartoon show! Then we wouldn't have to look at her!
  • lilyumyum 2010/11/17 23:56:55
    None of the above
    lilyumyum
    +1
    talor swift blaaaa
  • wicked ... lilyumyum 2010/11/18 16:10:14
    wicked soda boy
    You're funny. LMAO
  • Magixx 2010/11/16 17:06:59
    Jessica Simpson
    Magixx
    taylor swift
    and wait a minute jessica simpson is a country star damn she sucks
  • NatAlex23 2010/11/16 07:04:03
    None of the above
    NatAlex23
    Let's go with any country singer who hasn't married their sibling.

    incest countrycountry singer married sibling
  • fuggly58 2010/11/15 21:34:53
    None of the above
    fuggly58
    Lamest country singers are Montgomery Gentry. The dude shot a caged bear. Look at a Montgomery Gentry video and they both look gay.
  • Randy 2010/11/15 17:46:48
    None of the above
    Randy
    Taylor Swift. I mean it's like the emporer and his invisible clothes. I wonder why people can't seem to hear it.
  • Raindropkitten™~the author ... 2010/11/15 16:00:30
    None of the above
    Raindropkitten™~the author of þhαετ~
    +1
    Taylor Swift
    Kelly Pickler

    Taylor Swift and Kelly Pickler. While I'm not a country fan Taylor annoys me because she's more pop than she is country, plus all of her songs are literally the same and she's a mediocre singer at best. Kelly on the other hand can't sing to save a life and she is such an airhead.
  • GaPch 2010/11/15 15:19:45
    Kevin Costner
    GaPch
    +1
    Well, I voted for Kevin costner because Jessica is a singer, Gwyneth is married to a singer and I have no idea why Kevin Costner is singing at all? LOL. I love Loretta Lynn. "When you're lookin at me....you're lookin at country".
  • Myrle Hulme 2010/11/15 10:19:54
    None of the above
    Myrle Hulme
    +2
    I don't know the singers so I excuse myself
  • Sandra James 2010/11/15 00:38:44
    Kevin Costner
    Sandra James
    +1
    they should have Taylor swift
  • Ladd 2010/11/14 22:33:03
    Jessica Simpson
    Ladd
    Jessica Simpson has many talents,I'm just fine with all of them execpt the "steady application" of Country Music ! If in a motion picture part would come up for Jessica, her flash instant talent emerages and then it's a hit ! I recall that most real actors & actresses play multipule roles, thier will be many more for her !
  • Garciataria 2010/11/14 19:59:50
    None of the above
    Garciataria
    I hear Akon's trying country? Not sure if he released an album, but if he did, he is where my vote would go.

    He is the lamest excuse for a singer, period.
  • guitarplayer2571 2010/11/14 07:27:33
    Kevin Costner
    guitarplayer2571
    yeah that dude can't sing! gwyneth isn't much better! i actually like jessica's country song she did, much better than the goofy stuff she used to sing!
  • derek 2010/11/14 03:52:12
    Gwyneth Paltrow
    derek
    My real answer is Taylor Swift. She's just way too overrated
  • Sandra ... derek 2010/11/15 00:37:26
    Sandra James
    you are so smart a u a guy
  • David 2010/11/13 23:57:53
    None of the above
    David
    *sheesh* What a stupid question. All of them and more. I'd be hard pressed to think of one current "Country Music" singer who even is, a Country singer at all. Of the huge crop of phony, manufactured "talents" labeled "Country" nowadays, who among them isn't lame?
  • XxxThexAftermathxIsxSeconda... 2010/11/13 20:49:40
    None of the above
    XxxThexAftermathxIsxSecondaryxxX
    em....i don't really like country to start with.
  • Sattesh 2010/11/13 13:38:52
    None of the above
    Sattesh
    +1


    The lady who got interrupted by kanye ain't on the list............................
    She needs to make something new or get out.............................
  • Ginger Snapp 2010/11/13 08:11:10
    Gwyneth Paltrow
    Ginger Snapp
    +1
    Paltrows singing is like her facial features.... like her acting... like her stupid comments.

    Ugly stupid and FAILTASTIC

    gwyneth paltrow suckspaltrows singing facial features acting stupid comments stupid failtastic
  • Fabby Ginger ... 2010/11/15 17:30:01
    Fabby
    aaaand like her daughter's name? Did you forget that lil'detail? Who would name their own little daughter....APPLE!!! Gwen P.
  • Ginger ... Fabby 2010/11/15 19:00:09
    Ginger Snapp
    I know!

    I hate that poor Chris gets flack for it.

    You KNOW that was her idea.

    Although I guess Apple isnt THAT bad.... especially compared to "Pilot Inspektor" or "Jermagesty"
  • laura9819 2010/11/13 06:45:50
    None of the above
    laura9819
    I think that they are all great.
  • Stan Kapusta 2010/11/13 06:21:34
    Gwyneth Paltrow
    Stan Kapusta
    +1
    The only music style left where it is required that you can sing. This list looks like another bunch of wannbes. Bring back Eddie Murphy he'd make a great country singer!
  • pies_Guy 2010/11/13 03:12:11
    Kevin Costner
    pies_Guy
    how the hell did JEWEL make this list? country or not, that girl can SAAAAANG!
  • guitarp... pies_Guy 2010/11/14 07:31:11
    guitarplayer2571
    i didn't see jewel on the above list? but yeah she can sing, and sometimes late at night i wonder what else she might be able to do well? :o)
  • pies_Guy guitarp... 2010/11/14 16:25:28
    pies_Guy
    lol....so do I...go figure!
  • JK 2010/11/13 02:46:46
    None of the above
    JK
    Lame: Paltrow, Simpson, Cosner, Bon Jovi

    OK: Jewel, Newton-John

    Awesome: Rucker.
  • Tandra 2010/11/13 02:02:04
    Jessica Simpson
    Tandra
    Don't really care..don't like there music.
  • CrabMan 2010/11/13 01:04:58
    None of the above
    CrabMan
    all of the above can't sing or carry a tune in a bucket even if it had a handle on it...
    They best stay with what they are good at Movies being dumb, and no dapble in music of any kind..
  • Anselmo1 2010/11/13 00:37:26
    Gwyneth Paltrow
    Anselmo1
    Paltrow--country music--give me a break!
  • Shirleywillow 2010/11/12 23:29:46
    None of the above
    Shirleywillow
    i think they are all pretty good. Anyone who has the nerve to go before an audience and sing their hearts out has my vote.
  • dvdljn 2010/11/12 23:09:44
    Jessica Simpson
    dvdljn
    she sucks
  • guitarp... dvdljn 2010/11/14 07:32:37
    guitarplayer2571
    oh yeah send her to my house! :o)
  • Pakki 2010/11/12 23:01:15
    None of the above
    Pakki
    There are so many to choose. How could I possible pick one??

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