What is your favorite Moe quote? (Note: prank calls do NOT count in this poll)

Patty: Calm down, everybody. Here's a movie of us.
(crowd boos as Patty and Selma show their home movie)
Moe: Wow, even I ain't hoping for porn.


Moe: Hey Buck, it's me? The weird guy from the stadium.
Buck Savage: There were a lot of weird guys at the stadium tonight.
Moe: (sadly) You know I remembered you. (sulks)


Moe: Fate gave me an awful dilemma — should I rob the guy or rob him and kill him?


(Bart is selling T-Shirts)
Moe: Do you have Calvin peeing on Hobbes?
Bart: No.
Moe: Well what do you have him peeing on?


Moe: Okay well I really enjoyed being you Dr. Hibbert, oh by the way you're not welcome in the library no more. I'm sorry.


Moe: Maybe this is a sign. Maybe it's time for me to get out of the alcohol business, give barber college another try. And this time, I won't join a frat! [Looks around, realizes no one is there] Who am I talking to?


Russian Model: After Chernobyl, my penis is falling off.
Moe: And penis is Russian for...?


Moe: We're gonna die, and I never tasted cantalope!
Krusty: Ahh, you didn't miss much. Honeydew is the money melon.


Moe: Bye weeks. Bronko Nagurski didn't get no bye weeks, and now he's dead! [pause] Well... maybe that was a good thing.


Homer: Oh, I can’t believe it I got an enemy. Me, the most beloved man in Springfield.
Moe: Ah, it's a weird world, Homer. As hard as it is to believe, some people don't care for me, neither.
Homer: No, I won't accept that.
Moe: No, it's true. I got their names written down right here on what I call my, uh, "enemies list." [reaches under the bar for a sheet of paper]
Barney: [takes list and reads it] Jane Fonda, Daniel Schorr, Jack Anderson... Hey! This is Richard Nixon's enemies list. You just crossed out his name and put yours.
Moe: Okay, gimmie that, gimmie it back. [takes list and writes] Barney Gumble.
Homer: Oh, what’ll I do Moe?
Moe: Well, why don't you invite him over to dinner? Turn him from an enemy into a friend. Then, when he’s not expecting it... [stab gesture] Bam! The ol' fork-in-the-eye!
Homer: Do you think it might work without the fork-in-the-eye?
Moe: There's always a first time.


Moe: You gotta give me back my floor! My customers are walking around on the pipes!
Repo Depot clerk: Hey, next time pay your bills.
Moe: But, I don't want to!


[after waiting for hours, Homer, Moe, and Barney have not seen any deer]
Barney: Ahh, we should have just stayed at the bar and shot some rats.
Moe: Hey, those ain't your rats, Barn!


Homer: And the whole steel mill was gay!
Moe: Where you been, Homer? The entire steel industry is gay. Eh, aerospace, too, and the railroads. And you know what else? Broadway.


Ned: (to Moe) You ugly, hate-filled man!
Moe: Hey, Hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I -- Uh, what was the third thing you said?


The lights go out and a slide show of Maison Derriere patrons begins (their eyes covered to protect their identity). However, in such a small town where everybody wears the same clothes day after day...
[slide of Dr. Hibbert]
Mrs. Hibbert: Julius!
[slide or Chief Wiggum]
Mrs. Wiggum: Clancy!
[slide of Skinner]
Chalmers: Skinner?
Agnes: Seymour!
Seymour: Mother...
[slide of Patty]
Selma: [off-screen] Patty?
[slide of Cletus]
Brandine: Cletus!
[slide of Barney, to which nobody reacts]
Moe: ... Oh, uh... [forced] Barney.
[slide of Chief Wiggum]
Mrs. Wiggum: Clancy!
Chief Wiggum: Hey, come on, you did me twice.
[slide of... Smithers?!]
Burns: Smithers?
Smithers: My... my parents insisted I give it a try, sir.
[slide of Quimby, wearing a "Mayor" sash]
Luanne Van Houten: Mayor Quimby!
Quimby: Uh, well, that could be any mayor.


Skinner: Ah, there's no justice like angry mob justice.
Lenny: I'm gonna burn all the historical memorabilia.
Moe: I'm gonna bag me a toilet!
Willie: Agh, there'd better be two!


[Moe gets Homer ready for his first fight.]
Moe: Okay, you're fightin' a guy called Boxcar Bob.
Homer: Brawled his way up from the boxcars, did he?
Moe: No, not exactly. He still lives down at the train yard. But he's a hungry young fighter! In fact, he's fightin' for a sandwich.


Moe Szyslak: (immediately accepting Mayor Quimby's scapegoating of the Immigrants) Immigants! I knew it was them! Even when it was the bears, I knew it was them.