I couldn’t quite figure out what was wrong with Edward. Of course, he had been upset before, and he was still hunting with me, but what had bothered him before? I couldn’t figure it out.
His eyes were colder than usual and I knew that he was distracted as we were walking. We had already hunted; the rest of the family decided to leave us alone.
“Edward,” I turned on him, “what were you upset about earlier?”
I could see him getting nervous, getting stiff. He was nervous. When had I ever seen him nervous? Never.
“Your eyes.” he said, but he still had that crazed look that made me want to help him.
“That’s not all.” I told him.
“No,” he nodded, “it’s not.”
“Well, what’s wrong?” I asked him again.
“You and Alice, like that. You and her, the same skin color, but you with red eyes. She had that vision. On the night that I saved you from the van,” he took a deep breath, “that was when I decided I had to leave you alone, to save you from this life.”
“Yes? But why does it bother you so much now?” I asked him. I understood all this now.
“Because, I still feel guilty about turning you. I know it was to save your life, otherwise I wouldn’t have thought twice about it.” He explained, looking down.
I gasped. “You still feel guilty about that?” When he nodded, I felt queasy. Not the queasy feeling you get when you want to throw up, but the queasy feeling you get when you feel disgusted, not familiar with something.
“I can’t believe you.” I whispered, slowly, before I slipped my hand out of his and left.
I ran and ran. I heard him yelling after me, and I knew that he was going to come after me, but I could run faster than him.
Eventually, I couldn’t hear him anymore. I found Alice though, by her scent. She was with Jasper.
I pulled her away from them.
“Alice!” I hissed.
“What?” she sounded concerned.
“Did you have a certain vision on that day that Edward saved me from the van? One that you didn’t tell me about?”
“Yeah,” she sounded weary now, “I did.”
“Did you know that Edward still feels guilty about turning me into a vampire?” This was when she crossed her arms.
“Bella, you don’t know Edward as good as you think you do, do you? You didn’t know that he was going to be upset with himself for all eternity for that? You are the love of his eternity, and you thought that he was going to feel happy for killing your soul?” She sounded stubborn, like I always did. I wanted to sit down and cry for a long while.
That was when I felt sobs coming on, and I left her too. Unlike Edward, she didn’t follow me.