The CANDIRU CATFISH-- So Maybe You'll Be Interested In My Line Of Cast Iron Swimwear, Senor and Senorita? LOL!
- 2010/03/26 13:42:10
- Read all 12 opinions
The original title of this blog was: "Candiru Catfish- Whether You Have A "Hoo-Ha" Or A 'Woo-Woo" This Vamp/Fish Will Give You The "Willies"!
I'm creating this blog at the request of CB (My good friend, Cheryl) who believes that it will serve as a pubic.... make that-- Public Service, as it were...
My attitude is one of amazement and humour that such a creature exists:
The Candiru is one of several species of Vampiric/Carnivourous tiny catfishes that are known to inhabit warm, mainly stillwater ponds and lakes in South America. It is by their documented feeding habits, That they make even the feared and more widly known Pirahna look like cute little guppies in comparison...
This fish is known for it's infamous attacks on unsuspecting bathers genitalia ( Hoo-Ha's and Woo-Woo's-- I'm cleaning up the language for the sake of the censors...)
This tiny monster is attracted to the urine and blood of Humans and other animals and is known as a fast and powerful little swimmer... It's size of about 3 to 4 inches and less than 1/4 inch wide is what makes it dangerous to Humans...
This scale-less, smooth little Dracula/Tasmanian Devil combo can insert itself in the Urethra of Males and the Va-Jay-Jay's ( Thanks, Oprah) of Females and expand it's backward facing, sharp fins to make removal by hand impossible... It will then start sucking blood and eating all the flesh it can consume, causing severe damage and even death to itself and it's unlucky host...
More about this monster:
Why a Candiru will probably not want to attack me...
My coffee is so darn powerful that I have to chase down the damn pot and hit it with a heavy object in an attempt to subdue it long enough so's I can pour a cup of the stuff to drink...
My fluidic features ( That's Pee, Y'all) also contain a measurable charge of electricity, as a result of being whacked by lighting years ago... It is said that "Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!"
So "Bring It!" Mr, Candiru! I've got an "Electric EEL " Just-a-waitin' for Ya! LOL! :)
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