The CANDIRU CATFISH-- So Maybe You'll Be Interested In My Line Of Cast Iron Swimwear, Senor and Senorita? LOL!

The original title of this blog was: "Candiru Catfish- Whether You Have A "Hoo-Ha" Or A 'Woo-Woo" This Vamp/Fish Will Give You The "Willies"!


I'm creating this blog at the request of CB (My good friend, Cheryl) who believes that it will serve as a pubic.... make that-- Public Service, as it were...

My attitude is one of amazement and humour that such a creature exists:

The Candiru is one of several species of Vampiric/Carnivourous tiny catfishes that are known to inhabit warm, mainly stillwater ponds and lakes in South America. It is by their documented feeding habits, That they make even the feared and more widly known Pirahna look like cute little guppies in comparison...

This fish is known for it's infamous attacks on unsuspecting bathers genitalia ( Hoo-Ha's and Woo-Woo's-- I'm cleaning up the language for the sake of the censors...)

This tiny monster is attracted to the urine and blood of Humans and other animals and is known as a fast and powerful little swimmer... It's size of about 3 to 4 inches and less than 1/4 inch wide is what makes it dangerous to Humans...

This scale-less, smooth little Dracula/Tasmanian Devil combo can insert itself in the Urethra of Males and the Va-Jay-Jay's ( Thanks, Oprah) of Females and expand it's backward facing, sharp fins to make removal by hand impossible... It will then start sucking blood and eating all the flesh it can consume, causing severe damage and even death to itself and it's unlucky host...

Although the Candiru's normal prey is usually other fish-- It goes after their gills, this beastie really isn't concerned about where it's meal is coming from, I would advise you folks who happen to vacation in areas like this, to wear Industrial Strength bathing gear, and please "Hold Your Water" until you can relieve yourselves safely.

More about this monster:


Why a Candiru will probably not want to attack me...

My coffee is so darn powerful that I have to chase down the damn pot and hit it with a heavy object in an attempt to subdue it long enough so's I can pour a cup of the stuff to drink...

My fluidic features ( That's Pee, Y'all) also contain a measurable charge of electricity, as a result of being whacked by lighting years ago... It is said that "Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!"

So "Bring It!" Mr, Candiru! I've got an "Electric EEL " Just-a-waitin' for Ya! LOL! :)

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  • cb 2010/04/14 19:47:14 (edited)
    Well Since I am the proud Instigator of this blog first time around, I just had to import my comments from the original blog:

    "Forget about the electric fence, don't whizz in the Amazon Basin! " blog import comment blog forget electric fence whizz amazon basin

    "I can see the sign at pools world wide "Warning P*** at you own risk." or "Candira present" and under that the universal circle with a line through it and in the center a little shadow man relieving himself!"
  • peaceful cb 2010/04/14 20:01:16
    Hey, CB!

    You finally made it over here, good for you! LOL! :)
  • Sheila 2010/03/27 06:13:08
    May I be the first to comment. I have heard of this before, called the penis fish. Tee hee.Unfortunately it is real. However I've read it travels up the stream of urine. So, like your parents told you--don't pee in the pool. I do hope I retain the term "fluidic feature". I'd have to have scientific proof, tho, that you are immune because of being whacked by lighting.
  • peaceful Sheila 2010/03/27 14:40:10

    I'm going to trust my imperical knowledge on this one...many species of catfish have been known to be both attracted and repelled by electrical charges, and some of them even use it to locate their foods in muddy or murky waters...

    In other words, I ain't gonna be waving my willy around in a South American pond and leaving a trail of urine for Drac-fish, just to find find out what type of charge I've got... :)

    Maybe one of your (unloved) Ex's would like to try it? LOL!

    Thanks for being such a great sport, and here are some extra laughs for you...

    http://www.fatcatspace.com/to... ive unloved exs lol sport extra laughs httpwww fatcatspace comto
  • Sheila peaceful 2010/03/27 19:00:41
    Not to nitpick, but it's EMpirical.

    Any of about 18 widely distributed freshwater catfish species native to tropical Africa belonging to two genera (Malapterurus and Paradoxoglanis) of the family Malapteruridae. The best known of this group is M. electricus, a thickset fish with six mouth barbels and a single fin (the adipose fin) on its back, just anterior to the rounded tail fin. It is brownish or grayish, irregularly spotted with black, and attains a length and weight of about 1.2 metres (4 feet) and 23 kilograms (51 pounds).

    M. electricus is capable of generating and controlling the discharge of up to 450 volts of ... (100 of 169 words)

    I thank you for boosting my smartness. I r a graduate now.
    generating controlling discharge 450 volts 100 169 boosting smartness graduate
  • peaceful Sheila 2010/03/27 19:56:42 (edited)
    Brilliant, and thank you for correcting my spelling error...(You will be correcting a lot more of them in the future, as I am prone to type words faster than I can spell them...)

    Thank you for your generously provided description of an animal that I hope I will never have the pleasure of hooking, and here's one other catfish that I hope you will enjoy studying immensely, as it were....

    description animal hope pleasure hooking catfish hope enjoy studying immensely
  • Sheila peaceful 2010/03/27 22:38:01
    There's a couple of catfish dinners in that baby. You brought the fish. I'll make the fries.
  • peaceful Sheila 2010/03/29 13:32:53
    That one is actually a little on the small side for his species...

  • Sheila peaceful 2010/03/30 02:51:47
    !!!!! You certainly have an extensive knowledge of large and ugly fish. And now I do too. This is the new thing I learned today.
  • peaceful Sheila 2010/03/30 13:26:18
    I actually helped an artist build three life-sized Gray Whales (they are mammals, not fish..) this past Sunday.... I'm into sea-life in a BIG way, you could say....LOL! artist build life-sized gray whales mammals fish sunday sea-life lol
  • Sheila peaceful 2010/03/30 20:35:02
    Impressive. Then surely you must know about the Sarcastic Fringe Fish. I had the pleasure of making his acquaintance on the Life tv series on the Discovery channel. I invite you to check it out on YouTube Sarcastic Fringe Fish: http://www.youtube.com/watch?...
  • peaceful Sheila 2010/03/31 00:03:28
    Wow! That looks like it's almost Pre-historic... Golly, you never know what kind of critters you are gonna see deep in the Ocean...

    Check out the Mola Mola....

    wow pre-historic golly critters gonna deep ocean check mola mola

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Philadelphia, PA, US

2009/03/02 20:27:38

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