Reviewing the Bible....

Scott ヶBrony Of PHAETヶ 2010/01/15 15:00:14
-This is not supposed be serious, especially at the start, though I hope to pick upon some key points in this, enjoy-

As I held this book in my hand, I was frankly very sceptical of it, the 'Holy Bible' does not indicate it's contents very well and you are left to imagine what mystery's and adventures are left inside. Though you are hold this rather blank book in your hand, you somewhat feel oddly drawn to read it and treat yourself on the magical story's waiting inside. though it is does have twisted historical and many claims that are in direct discrepancy with the generally accepted laws of physics. though never mind.

The one and most foremost thing that annoyed me in my read of it is the constant contradictions of itself. You are trying to connect to one of the leading characters who is about to be killed, but I could not just stop wondering why they kept changing the colour of his robes?

They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him
Matthew 27:28 (Jesus is given a scarlet robe.)

They put a purple robe on him, then twisted together a crown of thorns
and set it on him.
Mark 15:17 (The robe is purple.)

The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head.
They clothed him in a purple robe.
John 19:2 (Again the robe is purple. These are not the same colour.
In fact, Rev 17:4 takes pains to mention a cloth both purple AND scarlet.
Had the material looked different from different vantages? Or were
the authors colon blind?)

These mistakes somewhat ruins the story telling, this is not the only occasion there are literary hundreds......this is frankly very disappointing from a novel so wildly regarded as being a fantastic book.

Some other problems I shall list below, ether SKIP through them or read them.


... and led him out to crucify him. And they compel one Simon a
Cyrennian, who passed by, coming out of the country, the father of
Alexander and Rufus to bear his cross. And they bring him unto
the place Golgotha, which is, being interpreted, The place of a skull.
And they gave him to drink wine mingled with myrrh: but he received
it not. And when they had crucified him...
Mark 15:20b-24a (Simon of Cyrene carried the cross)

Then delivered he him therefore unto them to be crucified. And they
took Jesus and led him away. And he bearing his cross went forth into
a place called the place of a skull, which is called in the Hebrew Golgotha
Where they crucified him...
John 19:16-18 (Jesus carried the cross.)


And it was the third hour, and they crucified him.
Mark 15:25 (The third hour, as noted in the Amplified Bible, is 9am)

And it was the preparation of the Passover, and about the sixth hour:
and he (Pilate) saith unto the Jews, Behold your King!
But they cried out, Away with him, away with him, crucify him. Pilate
saith unto them, Shall I crucify your King? The chief priests answered,
We have no king but Caesar. Then delivered he him over therefore
unto them to be crucified. And they took Jesus, and led him away.
John 19:14-16 (The sixth hour is Noon.)


Eli, Eli, lama sabachtani? that is to say, ;My God, My God, why hast
thou forsaken me?
Matthew 27:46 (Verse 50 says he cried out again before dying,
but no mention is made of spoken words.)

Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit
Luke 23:46

It is finished
John 19:30


GENESIS 1:11-12 and 1:26-27: Trees came before Adam.

GENESIS 2:4-9: Trees came after Adam.

GENESIS 1:20-21 and 26-27: Birds were created before Adam.

GENESIS 2:7 and 2:19: Birds were created after Adam.

Genesis 1:24-27: Animals were created before Adam.

Genesis 2:7 and 2:19: Animals were created after Adam.

Genesis 1:26-27: Adam and Eve were created at the same time.

Genesis 2:7 and 2:21-22: Adam was created first, woman sometime later.

Genesis 1:31: God was pleased with his creation.

Genesis 6:5-6: God was not pleased with his creation. (Which begs the question, how can an omnipotent, omniscient God create something he’s not pleased with?)

Well you get the point, there are so many problems, errors and it is as if no one actually proofread it to make sure it makes sense. In my opinion you are better of reading Lord of the Rings if you want a better fantasy book, as it makes more sense and easier to read and follow.

So sadly for the "Holy Bible", I have to give it a score of 1/10.....for it's lack of appropriation to the laws of physics, the constant mistakes and the inability to fully understand what is going on as it is constantly changing itself.

Thank you for reading!

laws physics constant mistakes inability fully understand constantly changing reading



The temple that King Solomon built for the LORD was sixty cubits long, twenty wide and thirty high
1 Kings 6:2

Solomon had seventy thousand carriers and eighty thousand stone cutters in the hills, as well as thirty-three hundred foremen who supervised the project and directed the workmen.
1 Kings 5:15-16 (Why were 153,000 people required to build such a small structure?)

In the eleventh year in the month of Bul, the eighth month, the temple was finished in all its details according to its specifications. He had spent seven years building it.
1 Kings 6:38 (Why did it take 7 years to construct?)


No man hath ascended up to Heaven, but he that came down
from Heaven, even the Son of Man.
John 3:13 (No man has ascended to Heaven.)

And Elijah went up by a whirlwind into Heaven
II Kings 2:11 (Elijah ascended to Heaven.)

Also Enoch was taken bodily to Heaven at the age of 365.
Genesis 5:24 (Enoch ascended to Heaven.)


"Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the
LORD your God is giving you.” EXODUS 20:12 (Part of the Ten Commandments)

"Honour your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded
you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land
the LORD your God is giving you.” DEUTERONOMY 5:16

“For God said, 'Honour your father and mother” and 'Anyone who curses his
father or mother must be put to death.”
Matthew 15:4

“For I have come to turn 'a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother in law, a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.” Matthew 10:35-37 (What, exactly, happened to “Honour your father and mother?”)

“Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division.
From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three
against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law."
Luke 12:51-53

Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself.
Proverbs 26:4 (Don’t answer)

Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.
Proverbs 26:5 (Do answer.)

264 answer answer fool folly wise eyes proverbs 265 answer
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  • Nick Name 2010/01/15 16:31:01
    Nick Name
    I happened across a very rare unabridged copy of the bible that included passages I had never noticed before.
    It actually specifically states that pat robertson and rush limbaugh are *ssholes that are going to hell.
    It made me feel more religous.

    included passages noticed pat robertson rush limbaugh ssholes feel religous

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  • seathanaich 2010/01/19 23:30:28 (edited)
    It's all funny, isn't it? Why is it so hard for people to admit that, yes, this book was written by humans. Does that REALLY cause them to have doubts that they don't have if they can't admit that? I don't get it. They're already operating on "faith" not reason - what difference does it make how high a pile of that you're sitting on?

    Great work - I've cut and pasted some of this for future reference. Cheers.
  • Scott ヶ... seathan... 2010/01/19 23:46:58
    Scott ヶBrony Of PHAETヶ
    Feel free to use it when ever you like, I got one of my Christian friends to look at the quotes form the bible to make sure they are correct. Everything should be in order.
  • seathan... Scott ヶ... 2010/01/20 00:21:28
    You can install a Bible on your dictionary from the internet for this purpose, if you want to. Cheers.
  • Scott ヶ... seathan... 2010/01/20 00:24:38
    Scott ヶBrony Of PHAETヶ

    That would have been helpful, didn't know that. Cheers.
  • Babel Fish 2010/01/16 07:45:30 (edited)
    Babel Fish
    There were passage I knew that contradicted each other but you have gone to town, what a great review of the bible. Food for thought for those that do bible study. I do not need to check the passages and i know you have researched correctly.

    Very interesting and i wonder how this question will be answered by the deeply religious?
  • Scott ヶ... Babel Fish 2010/01/16 15:13:23
    Scott ヶBrony Of PHAETヶ
    Most people would ignore it.

    I remember in my Primary school we used to read the bible, almost everyday..... some of those versus above are nearly imprinted on my head. Others I had to research....glad to see I was right about the versus. So thank you.

  • johndoe 2010/01/15 23:01:49
    Yeah the guys who wrote the bible are pretty crazy. I mean, have you READ the King James version? It's mostly knock-knock jokes
  • ♣♫ ~Skittles~♫♣ 2010/01/15 17:00:24
    ♣♫ ~Skittles~♫♣
    wooooooow thats long! im starting think whether or not i still want purple as my favorite color
  • Nick Name 2010/01/15 16:31:01
    Nick Name
    I happened across a very rare unabridged copy of the bible that included passages I had never noticed before.
    It actually specifically states that pat robertson and rush limbaugh are *ssholes that are going to hell.
    It made me feel more religous.

    included passages noticed pat robertson rush limbaugh ssholes feel religous
  • lynnellablue 2010/01/15 16:01:07
    I don't think Elijah and Enoch being taken up by God is the same as Christ's self-ascension.

    You've given quite a bit of info here. It will take me a while to digest, pull the scriptures, and respond. But I look forward to reading the scriptures you've given and participating in the conversation.
  • Daring Blasphemer BN-0 2010/01/15 15:50:25
    Daring Blasphemer BN-0
    I like the mention of Elijah going to heaven, especially since he was indirectly responsible for the deaths of 42 children, for making fun of him. God was the murderer (as is often true in the Bible) but Elijah asked him to do it. Apparently, thou shalt not KILL, just means you should ask God to do it...
  • Scott ヶ... Daring ... 2010/01/15 15:54:06
    Scott ヶBrony Of PHAETヶ
    Here are some cases of killing that was perfectly ok.

  • Daring ... Scott ヶ... 2010/01/15 22:31:07
    Daring Blasphemer BN-0
    thank you. I just used this info somewhere else.
  • Hussain 2010/01/15 15:22:03
    mmm..hmm.. interesting. Read the Holy Quran and some other Holy Books.
  • seathan... Hussain 2010/01/19 23:32:12
    Feel free to share some contradictions and nonsense from them too!
  • Hussain seathan... 2010/01/20 07:40:25
    if you find ANY
  • seathan... Hussain 2010/01/22 18:39:14
    Heaven in Islam is the place where a Muslim will be reclining,
    eating meats and delicious fruits, drinking exquisite wines, and
    engaging in sex with virgins (surah 55:54- 56) &
    (surah 52:17,19).

    That's contradictory nonsense. It's a sin on earth, but a reward in "heaven".

    Contradictory. Nonsense.

    I could add more, but I could be here all day if I started.

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