Passage from my book, Burning Ember; What do you think?

background info: Burning Ember takes place in the future where all that's left of the world is the land once known as America and it's ruled by gangs. Four in particular: The serpants, The wildcats, The Hive, and of course Ember's gang; The Wolf pack. Ember is Beta, second in command, second only to the Alpha, Dog. Ember's whole family was murdered by The Serpants, appart from her big brother, Alexander and she's holding a grudge. Whenever something goes wrong she blames their leader, Venom and she has rightful reasoning. The serpants are the most devious and underhanded gang. While, The Wolf Pack is loyal and lethal but they defend not attack. they wont strike first without good reason, they only retaliate

Ember has just reached the field where her gang keeps their pack of wolves and she's noticed a body laying in their feild.



Laying there in the middle of our field was a body... I couldn't identify it from my distance. It was a young man; no more than a few years older than me, but that was all I could tell.

Moonshine pack closed in around him; senting the air cautiously. Fe rushed forward to the body first. As soon as she reached it she threw her head back and howled a cry of anguish and then I knew... I knew who the dead boy was.

There was only one man Fe would cry for like that and that man was her master.

"No", i whispered, "God please, not him!"

I ran forward, ignoring the howling wolves around me. When I reached his side my fears were confirmed, his spikey blond hair was a mess and stained red. I dropped to my knees in agony, "Alexander... No! What will i do without you", I clutched his limp hand between mine, "You're all I have. They took our whole family away, don't let them take you too." Tears rushed down my face like a waterfall, and loss constricted my chest, crushing my heart. I brushed his hair back to reveal his lifeless, blue eyes

I threw my head back and screamed, "Help me! Someone, please!" But it was too late, he was long gone; he'd been dead way before i found him.

My only consolation was that he hadn't suffered. The deep cut in his throat promised a fast and relatively painless death, but that was very little comfort.

Suddenly Blaze snarled beside me, and i felt her fur bristle against my skin. I knew my wolf enough to know that there was someone in our field and it wasn't one of the gang. It was an outsider; some one who didn't belong

"Hello, Ember, enjoying my surprise?" Spoke an icey and painfully familiar voice from the shadows.

I rose to my feet slowly, drawing my blade from my boot, "Venom, I'd love to say I'm surprised to see you, but I'm really not. I knew this was the work of your demented gang. The Serpants will pay for this. The Wolf Pack will hunt down everyone of your followers and kill them. Saving you for last; so you can watch your people die around you."

He laughed tonelessly, stepping into the moonlight, "You can try but you're pack will be the ones to die. I'll kill you all personally just like i killed your beloved big brother. Then we'll turn your'e wolves into our pets and I might even keep you as my pet too." He stepped closer to me and brushed my hair lightly behind my ear.

I slashed my blade across his arm, "I will never be your pet and these wolves follow no one but the master they were born to, they'll eat you alive. That is if i dont get to you first."

His eyes flared with rage, "Have it your way. You'll be the next to die, let Dog find himself a new Beta".

He pulled something from his jacket and it glinted in the moonlight.

My mind searched for a name and then it hit me; Lightning shooter! One shot from that and my heart would stop, permanently.

One of us wasn't leaving that feild alive. The question was; who would wouldn't walk away?