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PARENTS: Would It Be Okay for Your Kids to Become Emo/Goth/Scene/Punk?

xxX Fallen☠Angel Xxx 2009/03/07 18:53:30
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  • Rebo 2009/08/31 01:33:37
    yes
    Rebo
    +2
    You don't get out of a depression by immersing yourself in it and surrounding yourself with others who are immersing themselves in it, instead it perpetuates it, magnifies the negative feelings, and teaches you poor coping skills for life's problems, and the music that goes with it offers few positive alternatives. For those of you who say not all emos are cutters, and that there are no "points" awarded for cutting, I agree. On the other hand, those who do not cut are accused by their emo peers of being "posers" (not good in that clique) and are looked down upon as copy-cats and being ingenuous. For those kids who are drawn to the emo culture due to the pressures they already feel, the pressure to become a cutter to "prove themselves" a true emo must be unbearable and so they do it and it becomes a habit, one that will leave physical scars, not to mention the long-term emotional scars they will carry for years to come because they removed themselves from all other sources of enjoyment and potential help. The respondants who claim otherwise are either young, immature, or stunted in their emotional growth because they adhered to the culture during a time they could otherwise have been growing emotionally - what is the saying? With growth comes wisdom. Hooking your star to this ...
    You don't get out of a depression by immersing yourself in it and surrounding yourself with others who are immersing themselves in it, instead it perpetuates it, magnifies the negative feelings, and teaches you poor coping skills for life's problems, and the music that goes with it offers few positive alternatives. For those of you who say not all emos are cutters, and that there are no "points" awarded for cutting, I agree. On the other hand, those who do not cut are accused by their emo peers of being "posers" (not good in that clique) and are looked down upon as copy-cats and being ingenuous. For those kids who are drawn to the emo culture due to the pressures they already feel, the pressure to become a cutter to "prove themselves" a true emo must be unbearable and so they do it and it becomes a habit, one that will leave physical scars, not to mention the long-term emotional scars they will carry for years to come because they removed themselves from all other sources of enjoyment and potential help. The respondants who claim otherwise are either young, immature, or stunted in their emotional growth because they adhered to the culture during a time they could otherwise have been growing emotionally - what is the saying? With growth comes wisdom. Hooking your star to this culture has similar effects to doing drugs (and it's been my experience that the emos I've encountered ALL do drugs of one sort or another--also to prove to each other they have too much pain to bear). Ask for help. Emo will literally suck the life out of you, and often destroy years of an otherwise healthy relationship with those who love you. Been there. Still am.
    (more)

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Opinions

  • Rebo 2009/08/31 01:33:37
    yes
    Rebo
    +2
    You don't get out of a depression by immersing yourself in it and surrounding yourself with others who are immersing themselves in it, instead it perpetuates it, magnifies the negative feelings, and teaches you poor coping skills for life's problems, and the music that goes with it offers few positive alternatives. For those of you who say not all emos are cutters, and that there are no "points" awarded for cutting, I agree. On the other hand, those who do not cut are accused by their emo peers of being "posers" (not good in that clique) and are looked down upon as copy-cats and being ingenuous. For those kids who are drawn to the emo culture due to the pressures they already feel, the pressure to become a cutter to "prove themselves" a true emo must be unbearable and so they do it and it becomes a habit, one that will leave physical scars, not to mention the long-term emotional scars they will carry for years to come because they removed themselves from all other sources of enjoyment and potential help. The respondants who claim otherwise are either young, immature, or stunted in their emotional growth because they adhered to the culture during a time they could otherwise have been growing emotionally - what is the saying? With growth comes wisdom. Hooking your star to this ...
    You don't get out of a depression by immersing yourself in it and surrounding yourself with others who are immersing themselves in it, instead it perpetuates it, magnifies the negative feelings, and teaches you poor coping skills for life's problems, and the music that goes with it offers few positive alternatives. For those of you who say not all emos are cutters, and that there are no "points" awarded for cutting, I agree. On the other hand, those who do not cut are accused by their emo peers of being "posers" (not good in that clique) and are looked down upon as copy-cats and being ingenuous. For those kids who are drawn to the emo culture due to the pressures they already feel, the pressure to become a cutter to "prove themselves" a true emo must be unbearable and so they do it and it becomes a habit, one that will leave physical scars, not to mention the long-term emotional scars they will carry for years to come because they removed themselves from all other sources of enjoyment and potential help. The respondants who claim otherwise are either young, immature, or stunted in their emotional growth because they adhered to the culture during a time they could otherwise have been growing emotionally - what is the saying? With growth comes wisdom. Hooking your star to this culture has similar effects to doing drugs (and it's been my experience that the emos I've encountered ALL do drugs of one sort or another--also to prove to each other they have too much pain to bear). Ask for help. Emo will literally suck the life out of you, and often destroy years of an otherwise healthy relationship with those who love you. Been there. Still am.
    (more)
  • Mike Fo... Rebo 2011/09/18 22:01:33
    Mike Fogerty
    +1
    I've been into the Goth scene all my life. There are the Satanic ones and the depressed ones, but they far from represent all of us. I started out with the fixations with the old houses, candles, castles, ghost stories, black, vampires, all that. I was big into Addams Family andMunsters stuff, as well as adventure movies, horror movies, kid movies, almost anything. My mother hated it and told me I'd grow up to be a serial killer or gangster, that satan was going totake over my mind, blah blah.

    I was pretty staigth up when I had to live with her, dressing in outdated fashionsand wearing a fifties hairstyle because that was what she said god wanted, but I remained able to think for myself.

    Well it has been quite a few years and she has died, the church she was loyal to disintegrated, and welll.....I dress in black jeans that are held up with a chrome chain, I have alot of very gothic T shirts, featuring gothic angels and a cemetery scene or two, actually two, and I wear various jewelry, including leather men's collars. I also wear velvet victorian military Goth jackets and a top hat, including going out downtown, and I wear my hair long and black. Among my favorite bands are Nightwish and Midnight Syndicate.

    No cutting here, no depression, no Satan, just more of a sense of...





    I've been into the Goth scene all my life. There are the Satanic ones and the depressed ones, but they far from represent all of us. I started out with the fixations with the old houses, candles, castles, ghost stories, black, vampires, all that. I was big into Addams Family andMunsters stuff, as well as adventure movies, horror movies, kid movies, almost anything. My mother hated it and told me I'd grow up to be a serial killer or gangster, that satan was going totake over my mind, blah blah.

    I was pretty staigth up when I had to live with her, dressing in outdated fashionsand wearing a fifties hairstyle because that was what she said god wanted, but I remained able to think for myself.

    Well it has been quite a few years and she has died, the church she was loyal to disintegrated, and welll.....I dress in black jeans that are held up with a chrome chain, I have alot of very gothic T shirts, featuring gothic angels and a cemetery scene or two, actually two, and I wear various jewelry, including leather men's collars. I also wear velvet victorian military Goth jackets and a top hat, including going out downtown, and I wear my hair long and black. Among my favorite bands are Nightwish and Midnight Syndicate.

    No cutting here, no depression, no Satan, just more of a sense of humor than most people want to deal with. I've also ran a novelty photo business in a local haunted attraction that features a hearse and a casket. Death to me is just a part of life and I dont consider it evil or morbid, it just.....is. Alot of people freak out over the hearse because it has "had dead people in it." I wonder if their family members become evil at death. It's just a car, it's big, and it makes me laugh when people get allw orked up over it. I also drive an F150.

    Goth is just another lifestyle and it is as good or bad as the person makes it. I like passing old abandoned houses and feeling the magic. Victorian styles are so much nicer than modern clothing. I dont even own a men's suit. I like walking in the wind with my 17th century coat catching the breeze.

    As for depression, the Goth club I go to is routinely filled with dancing, loud music and happy people.

    Mike
    (more)
  • Shantel Mike Fo... 2013/11/05 18:04:17
    Shantel
    +2
    Hello my name is shantel and i wanted to know if anyone would adopt me i really want to be scene.My email is wshantel43@yahoo.com
  • caisenmaecila 2009/08/11 08:51:38
    yes
    caisenmaecila
    +2
    wow.. you know what i would be more concerned about if i was you? games like world of warcraft that destroy social interaction.
    there's nothing wrong with joining a certain subcultural group.
    "Emo" is a stereotype. a lot of people like to project it on anyone who looks different.
    cutting can happen to anyone.
    it has nothing to do with a look or group of people who've created a community of friends based on similar interests, just like everyone else in the world.
    there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be experimental with hair, makeup, clothing, music, and friend choices.
    not all kids that dress in "certain ways" are self destructive.. they're all just trying to find a group of people they fit in with and enjoy being around. Seriously.
    if some goth kid likes the same thing your son does and your son incidentally ends up liking some of the things the goth kid introduces him to, so what.
    Parents should be more worried about the amazingly accepted drug culture.
    if you ask just about any kid in high school if they've tried Ecstasy, they're going to say yes.

    Worry about Real problems before you go cutting down people for cultural differences.
  • Ginnaaay 2009/04/19 15:59:17
    maybe
    Ginnaaay
    I'm not a parent, but I think it would depend. Yes, I'm emo/punk/goth, but not to the extreme. I'm high honors, very good grades, respectful, and I don't cause self harm, or harm to others. I abide all laws and household rules, and if a child is like that I think it would be ok. Me being a child also influenced my answer, so as long as they don't cause trouble it should be fine.
  • Lexi(NINJA) 2009/04/14 02:28:08
    yes
    Lexi(NINJA)
    As long as they are happy it is fine with me. I am mostly emo people say but my mom calls me punk all the time. Of course they wish i wouldn't dress how i do but they don't force me to dress differently. My dad just recently learned that i cut myself and admit suicide a few times but my mom has no clue. If my kid wants to be emo or punk or whatever, it is fine but if they do and wish what i did, there is problems.
  • dios 2009/03/28 18:47:43 (edited)
    All of the above
    dios
    my kids a self taught musican and a scholorship and always gold honor roll student so if they like my old and of he music great
    they hate EMO
    there lucky too they have met some MUSICAL LEDGANDS
    and have a collection of guitar picks from them and drumsticks

    does that make me cool mom?
  • K-ZOOMI-----0 2009/03/11 20:02:00
    yes
    K-ZOOMI-----0
    As long as they do not get into trouble and grades don't suffer.
    I was into Heavy/Death Metal, Punk back in the late 70's, the 80's, and beyond in a small Ohio town that was dominated by farmers with a moderate sized Amish community. You either listened to Rock (AC/DC, etc.), or COUNTRY! Try just listening to Iron Maiden, let alone: sized amish community listened rock acdc country listening iron maiden
  • GK - Proud Right Wing Extre... 2009/03/11 18:12:48
    maybe
    GK - Proud Right Wing Extremist since 2009
    I am a parent. The only thing I truly fear is that my child will blindly follow. Getting a style they like and sticking with it for a bit is fine with me. Giving into a lifestyle for no other reason then their friends are doing it is not ok with me. I want my children to be themselves and even more importantly to be their own person.
  • Rachel 2009/03/11 18:07:43
  • DEUCE GIRL 2009/03/10 00:54:08
    yes
    DEUCE GIRL
    i'm goth and emo
  • Twichl 2009/03/09 23:19:40
    maybe
    Twichl
    I would dissagree with Emo the most, you wouldn't know *how* Emo your kid was, he/she could be cutting themselves and wishing for scuicide, you wouldn't know. If it's just how your kid dresses, you shouldn't care too much. Let them have their own lifes.
  • ♥☠Bethiee☠♥ 2009/03/08 05:52:07
    All of the above
    ♥☠Bethiee☠♥
    umm well i mean it would be kinda scary but im emo myself so my parents dont care but they dont realli enforce it but u kno i mean it would be hard 2 find out 1 day hi mom guess wut im emo or mom im goth or punk...but u kno its just them they gotta do it..
  • Artemis ~PHAET 2009/03/07 22:37:52
    yes
    Artemis ~PHAET
    +1
    I'm considered goth myself. If it made my kids happy, sure. Besides, it's best for kids to get all the hair dying and piercing stuff out of their systems before they hit the work force. It'll be easier for them to get jobs. I've mellowed out a lot from how I was as a teen. I no longer feel the need to dye my hair outrageous colors. If I want a wild color for a night or whatever, I use the stuff that washes right out or wear a wig. I no longer feel the need to have piercings in my face. It's possible to be goth without all that stuff, and the kids learn that if you let them experiment.
  • Outtolunch 2009/03/07 21:24:30
    yes
    Outtolunch
    +1
    It's just an image, an attempt to belong to something that is not the norm, to be different to the mainstream. It's exactly what I did to my parents and I would expect nothing less from my own children to express themselves creatively through the most outrageous fashion sense they can find. It will take a lot of effort to shock this mother.
  • yes
    • ♥Lucy-Fer♥ ♦The Woman♦ •
    I would have no problem with it. There would be a limit though.
  • ♪ Emmo ♫ 2009/03/07 19:29:15
    All of the above
    ♪ Emmo ♫
    Besides emo.. They could become emo if they cut them self and don't bleed when I was 11 thats when I started to figure out my sort of style and who I was becoming I was punk and I still am... Theres nothing wrong with punk nothing wrong with goth its just a little scary its also depending on the age.. I'm not sure what Scene is but Prep is also a style.. :)
  • Thanos "In Darwin I trust" 2009/03/07 19:12:40
    no
    Thanos "In Darwin I trust"
    +2
    I dont like the excuse "i want them to be able to express themselves". Thats not always a good thing. What if your child wants to express himself by setting your cat on fire? I will let my kids express themselves as long as they do it in a way that respects themselves and others. Letting them "be who they want to be" should NOT include being a cutter or things like that. People who do that do not respect themselves or their families. Even the ones that used to do that admit that it was stupid.
  • xxX Fal... Thanos ... 2009/03/07 19:19:06
    xxX Fallen☠Angel Xxx
    yea well i agree with u on the whole cuttin themselves thing but wat about the style of clothes?
  • Thanos ... xxX Fal... 2009/03/07 19:37:35
    Thanos "In Darwin I trust"
    You know how most kids are, if you give them an inch they will go a mile. You wont be able to logically tell them that its ok to be "emo"" or "goth" only if they refrain from certain aspects about it. Would you really want your child to end up like Marylin Manson? Goth people idolize him but he is disgusting. Im not saying they will all end up like him but why take a chance.
    Also with the clothes, I would want them to be respected, if they dress like that they wont get the respect they deserve. If thats what they want then they can do that when they move out but I dont want people to look at me like ive failed because they want to "express themselves" and I also dont want people think my kid is a failier either. Kids with that kind of style say they want to be themselves or to be their own person yet they all dress alike, it doesnt make much sense.
    An example is you, You are an extremely pretty girl and im sure you are really smart and talented in certain things, THOSE things are what make you "you", not wearing black defacing yourself and your clothes. You know what I mean?
  • xxX Fal... Thanos ... 2009/03/07 19:56:36
    xxX Fallen☠Angel Xxx
    wow u remind me a lot of my dad...... js
  • Thanos ... xxX Fal... 2009/03/07 19:59:55
    Thanos "In Darwin I trust"
    lol I dont think of that as an insult. Im sure he wants the best for you. Whatever you do, I hope it works out. I hope you lead, not follow. Know what im sayin?
  • xxX Fal... Thanos ... 2009/03/07 20:03:02
    xxX Fallen☠Angel Xxx
    yep sure do :) lol it makes more sense coming from you than from my dad (thts prob bcuz whenever i bring it he just yells at me tell me not 2 go there so yeah..)
  • Thanos ... xxX Fal... 2009/03/07 20:11:12
    Thanos "In Darwin I trust"
    Yea? He shouldnt yell at you about it. He should just talk to you but some parents have trouble dealing with it. From what I saw on your profile, there are a lot of good things about you. I hope you see those same things.
  • • ♥Lucy... Thanos ... 2009/03/07 19:37:44 (edited)
    • ♥Lucy-Fer♥ ♦The Woman♦ •
    No offense, but I find that rude. You can like being like that without wanting to "set a cat on fire", or "cutting yourself".

    Another thing, the whole "people who cut themselves don't respect there families" thing was rude too. Some people admit it was stupid, but alot of US have mental problems, and a bad history. Especially with "Family".
  • Thanos ... • ♥Lucy... 2009/03/07 19:50:33
    Thanos "In Darwin I trust"
    +1
    Dont talk to me about having a bad history with family. Mine was probly a lot worse. Get offended all you want but that is MY opinion. Ive had bad things happen to me growing up but I chose to focus on good rather than dwelling on the bad. Im not going to say ive never cut myself but it was extremely stupid and if I can keep my kids from being like that then I wil damn sure try.
  • • ♥Lucy... Thanos ... 2009/03/07 19:55:20 (edited)
    • ♥Lucy-Fer♥ ♦The Woman♦ •
    +1
    Hey, don't get your panties in a knot. I was simply saying it was rude how you worded it.

    Don't assume it was worse, when you know nothing about me. I haven't said mine was worse. I simply said the way you said it offended me. You came off like it was the most terrible thing ever, and I thought it was rude.
  • Thanos ... • ♥Lucy... 2009/03/07 20:03:34
    Thanos "In Darwin I trust"
    What I think you need to do is look at the good things around you and about you.
    As for offending you, I dont like to sugar coat anything. Im sure you are a great girl, as for the "general" actions of most goth, emo, punk teens, you have to admit they act and do very negative things alot of the times.
  • • ♥Lucy... Thanos ... 2009/03/07 20:11:45
    • ♥Lucy-Fer♥ ♦The Woman♦ •
    Some do, some don't. I like to think everything depends on a person, and not what people see them as or how they dress. How a person dresses is not a definition for them. Yes some kids do take it too far.

    I do like the goth and emo clothes. I like to wear them sometimes, and other times I dress normally. People are often suprised when they see me lose my temper, because I act and look so normal.

    People don't to sugercoat there opinions around me, but my family has a very strict rule on how you express them. My mother always tells me to be tactful, and I apologize if I was rude.
  • Thanos ... • ♥Lucy... 2009/03/07 20:15:31
    Thanos "In Darwin I trust"
    You dont have to apologize. I can handle what people throw at me. lol I hope everything works out at home.
  • • ♥Lucy... Thanos ... 2009/03/07 20:16:30
    • ♥Lucy-Fer♥ ♦The Woman♦ •
    Thank you.
  • Twichl Thanos ... 2009/03/09 23:24:48
    Twichl
    +1
    I know what your saying there. I had an Emo friend who said "Thats how I express myself," but she looked like she was dead, and unhappy, even if she smiled she never looked happy.
    The way I express myself in clothes is what mood I'm in. I think thats a healthy way to express yourself in your clothing, as long as you don't go too far with it.
  • Eternal... Thanos ... 2009/04/13 14:09:41
    Eternal Oblivion
    being emo doesnt mean you cut yourself.
  • Thanos ... Eternal... 2009/04/13 21:24:05
    Thanos "In Darwin I trust"
    There are exceptions to every rule but most of the emo people I know say they have/do cut themselves. Plus in my opinion I think its not mentally healthy to be too emo.
  • Eternal... Thanos ... 2009/04/14 00:26:51
    Eternal Oblivion
    well, emo is really just a clothing style, it is true that many people with the emo style have or do cut themselves, but the actual word for them would be cutters.
  • LuridLo... Thanos ... 2010/05/16 08:07:00
    LuridLolita
    +3
    When I become a parent I'm encouraging my child to set a cat on fire.
  • Thanos ... LuridLo... 2010/05/18 05:45:30
    Thanos "In Darwin I trust"
    Depends on the cat I guess. If they are getting mouthy then you got to or they wont learn nuthin.....
  • LuridLo... Thanos ... 2010/05/23 19:06:01
    LuridLolita
    It wouldn't do at all for animals to become rebellious. If that were to happen we should make an example of one to them all before an uprising begins to stir.
  • DivaDarling Miss Winchester 2009/03/07 19:03:45
    yes
    DivaDarling Miss Winchester
    +1
    WELL when i will become a parent my kid can be what it want's not what i want they can choose their style i will only mention my kind of style which i want them to follow and then i'll let them choose...

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