This can be found here.

Mark Reads 'Twilight' Hate Mail

I've come to the realization that roughly three quarters of my work on Buzznet has been all about destroying or mocking what other people love. That's...sort of sad, I suppose, and hardly constructive. But then I started getting hate mail. Not the normal trolling comments I'm used to from posting about politics or music wankery, no; this type of hate mail was very real and very serious. So I did the best thing I could do with them: mock them ruthlessly. Intrigued? Then it's time for Mark to read Twilight hate mail.

I got my first hate message after my review of the prologue/Chapter 1. I was actually surprised how quickly this showed up, so I must admit that I was impressed with the dedication Twilight fans demonstrate at time.

Let's get started.



Well.....there it is. There you go. That's the first one I got. I love that the subject and the body are exactly the same thing.

There's really nothing to analyze here. I didn't respond. I mean...what do you say to that?



I was initially surprised that there were any periods at all in this message.

I didn't know what to do with this either, so I just ignored it.



Holy shit. That's some excellent trolling right there. And it's typed correctly! I'm not sure how a five year old could even hold up my camera, but that's neither here nor there. This is clearly an attempt to make me mad and I'm not buying it.

And for the record, of course I'm jealous that Meyer is rich. Because I can most certainly write better than her and I'm still...not rich. DUH.



Awesome. Back to this again.



This one just confuses me. First of all, where is this person getting their information? When have I told any of you to be sheep? And I'm pretty sure my bio is...empty? What?



I almost feel bad about this one. Poor thing.

Here's the last one I got. It was around Chapter 15 that this arrived:



There you go. I love my job.

It's funny (and kind of sad?) that a lot of trolls that come this way go for the gay jugular immediately, as if I haven't heard every gay slur in the book at this point. Seriously, dudes, I've been made fun of my whole life. You're going to have to do better than that to insult me.