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Kids Sleeping In Parents’ Bed: Is ‘Co-Sleeping’ Bad For Kids’ Development?

ABCnews.com 2011/08/23 23:53:29
Related Topics: parents, Bad, Parent, Bed
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  • tjk88 2011/08/24 14:05:25
    No, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
    tjk88
    +7
    I cosleep. Not because it's easier or because I'm too lazy to force them to sleep on their own, but because it's biologically NORMAL and helps to foster a secure attachment. Independence comes best when a child is guided toward it and steps out into it on their own, NOT when a child is forced into it before they are truly ready for that independence.

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  • Able 2014/05/14 10:14:55
    Yes, it is.
    Able
    Kids should sleep in their own beds.
  • bbethke 2013/08/01 06:02:52
    No, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
    bbethke
    I don't there is anything wroung with it. Agreed there are a lot of stipulation to this but with all the divorces, neglected and abused children, just plain hard evil world out there these days, I feel children need to feel love, closeness and just in general that there is someone there for them at ANYTIME!
  • Dave The Canuck 2012/04/20 03:56:17
    No, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
    Dave The Canuck
    Especially if the child has had a nightmare or is afraid of the dark. Parents are the most important source of protection for a child and the child should be allowed to be with them whenever (s)he wants or needs them.
  • Kat 2011/08/28 02:53:18
    Yes, it is.
    Kat
    Babies are one thing especially a nursing one. But a toddler needs to be sleeping in his/her own bed. Besides the parents need some privacy.....................
  • Chris 2011/08/27 02:33:30
    No, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
    Chris
    When my kids were younger i let them sleep with me as long as they wanted to and they are now 17 and 16 and they are fine...i look at it this way, they are only young for a short time and if it gives them comfort in the middle of the night to get into be with us than that is fine with me. They eventually grow out of it. My parents were the same with me and i remember having nightmare at age 15 and I would go lay with my mom....i see it as kids know we as parents are always there for them no matter what or WHEN...isn't that what PARENTS are suppose to be?
  • trader 2011/08/25 03:57:45
    No, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
    trader
    They need their own bed but also need reassurance from their parents. The whole stick them in their own room and let them cry themselves to sleep mentality is what, in my opinion, causes very screwed up individuals.
  • Larry 2011/08/24 23:22:53
    No, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
    Larry
    As long as the kids are under 7, it is ok.
  • Fisher 2011/08/24 22:42:21
    No, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
    Fisher
    I think this question has a pros and cons. Co-sleep does provide a young kid (up age 5-6) a sense of security and comfort.....but with such a high divorce rate now-a-day, this co-sleep might hurt the child more because the parents are no longer there together...and this could be very difficult to understand.

    Also, the parents will lost their own privacy if they co-sleep with their child....this could have an impact to the marriage.
  • 001 2011/08/24 22:30:04
    No, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
    001
    It is scientifically proven that infants will develop mental health issues when they are not or rarely touched (cuddled or held). A baby needs to feel safe and (hopefully) there is no safer place than with the parents.
  • Hobbit7176 2011/08/24 21:45:55
    Yes, it is.
    Hobbit7176
    +1
    Besides all the gibberish about independence, I think its important for kids to be raised independent rather than coddle them. Nightmares "growing pains" understandable. To have your kids sleeping with Mom and Dad like a big commune is kinda weird.
  • liane.minster 2011/08/24 20:41:30 (edited)
    Yes, it is.
    liane.minster
    Since there is not enough information or answering options provided with this question, I will take "kid's development" to refer to growing children and NOT infants.

    Co-Sleeping is understandable and expectable for a while (about 1 year). A child occasionally crawling into bed with a parent isn't bad, but regularly sharing a "family bed" is bad for both the child and parents. Children need to learn to self soothe and be independent rather than clingy. Parents need to share a bedroom as a private place of intimacy. Parental intimacy is important to both the couple's relationship development and as an example to children.
  • kp smith 2011/08/24 20:08:40
    No, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
    kp smith
    +5
    It's what we are made to do - from our beginning! Babies did NOT have their OWN CAVES down the road from the parents' cave!!! I live in America but am European and do not understand this american obsession with independence! Humans are pack animals - historically, the whole extended family lived together, hence the expression, "it takes a village." no wonder we are such a broken society nowadays, when we are systematically forcing isolation on even our youngest members... It is beyond sad and so misguided, and can only contribute to the demise of civilization. This society, especially America, needs to get back to basics - co-sleeping, home births, breastfeeding, baby-wearing, and just putting the emphasis back on LOVE and operating from a loving standpoint - not making kids "tough it out" or cry as a teaching tool. But then again, what can you expect from a country that values movie stars more than teachers and doesn't give all its citizens basic services like free health care or a paid maternity/paternity leave lasting more than 12 weeks. This is not a country that values its citizens in general or families in particular.
  • 001 kp smith 2011/08/24 22:32:09
    001
    Letting a baby cry is not 'toughing it out', it's neglect. A baby doesn't cry because it wants something, but because it needs something.
  • kp smith 001 2011/08/25 06:37:46
    kp smith
    +2
    EXACTLY!!! You said it, sister! NOR is an infant trying to "manipulate you" by crying, as i UNfortunately have heard too many people say before. As Elvis Costello said, "what's so funny about peace, love, and understanding!?" let's just give our infants infinite love and as many hugs and snuggles as they want, and watch the world change into a better place! :)
  • bbethke kp smith 2013/08/01 05:55:21
    bbethke
    +3
    Thank you!
  • Jessica Garwood 2011/08/24 20:03:32
    No, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
    Jessica Garwood
    +3
    Why would there be something wrong with co-sleeping when most of the world does it. The only country that frowns upon it is the USA. Seems to me that parents are too involved with their lives to care about their childrens lives. Why would you stick an infant/toddler in a bedroom all by him/her self ? doesnt make sense to me. I love co-sleeping with my son and intend to do it until he's ready to move to his own bed. He's 2 and he's the sweetest most caring helpful 2 year old I've ever met- he's smart, witty and developing just fine!
  • tjk88 Jessica... 2011/08/24 20:32:04
    tjk88
    +1
    Things like this show how egocentric Americans are. A majority of the world bedshares without giving it a second thought, but since it's not the norm in America it's thought of as being "bad" by the mainstream.
  • Mandy 2011/08/24 17:24:40
    Yes, it is.
    Mandy
    +1
    There weren't enough options here. I don't think it's necessarily bad for a kid's development, though it can be. My main concern is parents suffocating their kids unknowingly in their sleep. It happens, and I could never live with that kind of guilt.
  • tjk88 Mandy 2011/08/24 17:27:46
    tjk88
    +5
    It usually happens when parents use too many pillows and blankets, or are under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
    Are you afraid of falling out of your bed every night? Most likely not. You know the edge of the bed is there, just like mothers know that their child is next to them.
  • Mandy tjk88 2011/08/24 17:30:47
    Mandy
    +1
    Actually, I'm a sleep walker, so I'm often afraid of what I'll do in my sleep. I've woken up with my had through a shattered glass lampshade. I've also packed a suitcase full of picture frames. Those are just a couple things. I was terrified of what I might do when my daughter was an infant and I was so sleep-deprived. I'm glad she was in a different room with a gate in the door--more obstacles to wake me up if I did end up going to her room in my sleep.
  • tjk88 Mandy 2011/08/24 17:33:29
    tjk88
    So in your circumstances, you were right not to bedshare, I definitely wouldn't argue that. Each family situation is different though, and for most families it would be perfectly safe to bedshare, as long as the parents are smart about it.
  • Mandy tjk88 2011/08/24 17:36:52
    Mandy
    I certainly don't care if other people want to do it, but I don't think it's better than a kid sleeping in their own room either.
  • KeithL 2011/08/24 16:53:24
  • sky blue pink - American 2011/08/24 16:42:59
    Yes, it is.
    sky blue pink - American
    When my kids were little, I would lay down with them until they fell asleep.
    Have a good one !
  • ReconMarine~PWCM*AVA*BTTB*JLA* 2011/08/24 16:27:14
  • freshness 2011/08/24 14:50:30
    No, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
    freshness
    Did it till I was 7 :/
  • LifeasaReader 2011/08/24 14:42:12
    No, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
    LifeasaReader
    +1
    You've got your terminology absolutely wrong. Bed-sharing means they're in the same bed. Co-sleeping just means they're within arm's reach, in the same room. Bed-sharing is a kind of co-sleeping, but not all co-sleeping is bed-sharing. CO-SLEEPING is well-known to prevent infant death from SIDS, and bed-sharing is only known to be dangerous for formula-fed babies, because breastfeeding mothers tend to sleep in a safer position because of the way you feed with a bottle vs. the way you feed at the breast.
  • Delia Parnell-Jones 2011/08/24 14:24:30
    Yes, it is.
    Delia Parnell-Jones
    At first I didn't see anything wrong with it, I was so wrong; lets just say our 7yr old still sleep in the sofa in our bedroom.
    From birth to 2yrs he share our bed on and off, from age 3 to 5 his excuses to continue sleeping in our bed; our bed feels so much better, it's comfortable, I have no one to sleep with me, I'm scared, or "he would stand in the door way and say you don't love me anymore is that it." after that he got my heart.
    The bottom line, our son sleep time is 60% in our room and 40% in his room.
  • Helen Schwalme 2011/08/24 14:06:43
    No, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
    Helen Schwalme
  • Helen S... Helen S... 2011/08/24 14:07:38
    Helen Schwalme
    +4
    Bed-sharing doesn't slow development, study finds

    Parents who let their toddlers sleep in the same bed as them aren't slowing their learning and behaviour development, a new U.S. study suggests.

    The study, published Monday in the journal Pediatrics, took into account families' socioeconomic status, mothers' education levels and mothers' parenting skills.

    Among children who slept in the same bed as their parents and then had slower cognitive and behaviour development, researchers found that socioeconomic status, education and parenting skills were likely responsible rather than the bed-sharing.
  • tjk88 2011/08/24 14:05:25
    No, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
    tjk88
    +7
    I cosleep. Not because it's easier or because I'm too lazy to force them to sleep on their own, but because it's biologically NORMAL and helps to foster a secure attachment. Independence comes best when a child is guided toward it and steps out into it on their own, NOT when a child is forced into it before they are truly ready for that independence.
  • laurabilbo tjk88 2011/08/24 14:10:00
    laurabilbo
    +2
    YES. We are so backwards in America, when one minute we don't want our babies growing up, yet we expect them to behave like adults at the same time! People in other parts of the world are puzzled as to why Americans put their babies in cages. (cribs to us here).
  • laurabilbo 2011/08/24 13:56:31
    No, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
    laurabilbo
    +4
    Co-sleeping is healthy, safe and produces MORE independent children. The benefits to both parents and children are numerous, including reducing the risk of SIDS. Yes, it REDUCES the risk. Babies have an immature respiratory system which means breathing is not always involuntary,and being next to mom regulates and reminds babies to breathe. Do your research to those who voted against it, you owe it to your children. A good source is from www.dr.sears.com. He is an amazing pediatrician with books on the facts, not opinions.
  • laurabilbo laurabilbo 2011/08/24 14:06:19
  • laurabilbo laurabilbo 2011/08/24 14:11:58
  • Chi~Cat 2011/08/24 13:50:26
    Yes, it is.
    Chi~Cat
    +3
    As a baby, yes. As a child no. Can make for some serious issues later on in life. Regardless, of "Oh, that's my Bella, she can sleep with me." Not cool. Same for boys. Ewww. Who want to date? Or marry a Bate? Freaky~
  • ReconMa... Chi~Cat 2011/08/24 16:25:38
  • Sista N... Chi~Cat 2011/08/25 11:13:26
  • Chi~Cat Sista N... 2011/08/25 11:17:52
    Chi~Cat
    +1
    Posted my opinion, and that is that. I have a BU grad. You have your opinion, and I have mine. Worked quite well with me. Do what you do...I could care less. Good for you~and very good for me. Later.
  • Sista N... Chi~Cat 2011/08/25 11:34:02

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