Question Entertainment

JOKE: Are you a GRASSHOPPER or a Ant? Read Below?

steve November 05, 2009 01:54:56

OLD VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away..

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

-------------------------------------------------------------...

MODERN VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome " . Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share..

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood..

The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it..

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.

-------------------------------------------------------------...

I've sent this to you because I believe that you are an ant and not a grasshopper! Make sure that you pass this on to other ants. Don 't bother sending it on to any grasshoppers because they wouldn't understand it, anyway.
ANt
Grasshopper
You!
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Top Comment
  • +4 raves elwood November 05, 2009 02:17:25
    elwood

    None of the above

    I do not admit publicly to being either an ant or grasshopper. I consider myself to be a BEE. I try to stay above it all, being alert to possible predator birds from above(the IRS), swooping in on me. I go about my business and stick with the workers. I don't associate with the queen as I consider that a dangerous association.
    I also don't bow to middle eastern dictators. I take care of my honey and myself. If someone invades my hive, my health care system kicks in, we swarm and sting the invading legislators at the voting booth. I enjoy beeing a free bee. I never take nectar from sources other than natural flowers (I never drink koolaid). I respect the work ethic of the ants, but don't believe in building a home in the lower neighborhoods where illegal grasshoppers can easily move in. koolaid respect work ethic ants building home neighborhoods illegal grasshoppers
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Comments
  • John November 06, 2009 18:32:47
    John

    None of the above

    im the spider - man. I search out corruption and expose it for what it is. I am Here to protect the ant and screw the grasshopper.


    spider search corruption expose protect ant screw grasshopper
  • ~kitten~ November 05, 2009 23:03:24
    ~kitten~

    ANt

    most of the time
  • fuzzy Ken "In G-d We Trust" November 05, 2009 18:45:42
    fuzzy Ken

    ANt

    I love this one.
    A friend of mine sent me this a couple of weeks ago. She told me that someone she sent it to said it was racist.
    I pointed out that THEY were actually the racist since ACORN helps all people regardless of color and they attached an ethnicity to a grasshopper.
  • undiebee November 05, 2009 18:20:27
    undiebee

    ANt

    This is to true to be funny!!!
  • Mrs. V November 05, 2009 15:41:36 (edited)
    Mrs. V

    ANt

    Most definitely an ANT. When I was a kid, growing up out in the country, I used to get a lawn chair, position it over a RED ANT bed and watch them for hours. I put numerous dead turtles (found on the road) near them to watch how carefully and completely they stripped all flesh away from the shell, leaving a perfect skeleton. Wow. It was very interesting.
    If you need to have the flesh removed from a specimen, ants are your best bet.
  • Jo November 05, 2009 15:14:27
    Jo

    ANt

    I'm an ant and I vote for ants :-)
  • Diamond Girl November 05, 2009 14:51:47
    Diamond Girl

    None of the above

    I am WOMAN hear me roar. LOL woman hear roar lol woman hear roar lol
  • Sasssy November 05, 2009 14:33:03
    Sasssy

    ANt

    Some of the names could have been different but I get the point.
  • Richie November 05, 2009 14:24:27
    Richie

    Undecided

    I am the Queen bee--- I tell everyone what to do---- see I own a business!!!
  • +1 raves
    Pegasis November 05, 2009 14:19:43
    Pegasis

    ANt

    Ant, born and bred. Come from a long line of ants. Another name for grasshoppers is locusts--and they are mentioned in the Bible as a pestilence.

    And pestilence has invaded our government.
  • +1 raves
    IndyLinda November 05, 2009 14:06:20
    IndyLinda

    None of the above

    I remain a top predator: Birds eat grasshoppers. remain predator birds eat grasshoppers remain predator birds eat grasshoppers
  • what the November 05, 2009 13:51:37
    what the

    ANt

    grasshoppers can't read
  • Noah Vaile November 05, 2009 12:50:12
    Noah Vaile

    None of the above

    For those of you who have seen your savings diminish in the past year or two. You can blame the grasshopper enablers in out government, barnyard fwank, chris robs, et al, and fannie-mae and freddie-mac for causing the financial crisis in the first place. Taking from the ants is a time honored democrat tradition to buy votes. They have undermined and destroyed the grasshopper family unit with their policies and instituted margaret sanger's racial destruction policies slaughtering their own prospective supporters in the womb to keep costs down.
    So don't be an ant or a grasshopper. BE AN AMERICAN and VOTE THESE GUYS OUT in 2010!!
  • Arizona1950 November 05, 2009 12:25:07 (edited)
    Arizona1950

    Undecided

    I use to be an ant. Save, save, save but then life basically kicked my butt and all the savings are gone. Now its not so much that I have become a grasshopper is that I can no longer save like I use to. I am told its called inflation, my dollar doesn't have the same value so it cost more to buy the necessities so there is barely any money for saving. I have been learning how to reorganize my money, priorities, watching where it is going and putting a little more aside.

    On another note do you know where the story of the ant comes from? Well, here's one place I found it ....

    Go to the ant, O sluggard,
    consider her ways, and be wise,
    Without having any chief, officer, or ruler,
    she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in winter.
    How long will you lie there, O sluggard?
    When will you arise from your sleep?
    A little sleep, a little slumber,
    a little folding of the hands to rest,
    and poverty will come upon you like a robber,
    and want like an armed man.
    Proverbs 6:6-11
  • Asher November 05, 2009 12:12:32 (edited)
    Asher

    Undecided

    you forgot a "dung beetle" option for the demorats out there.....
  • kormster November 05, 2009 11:59:34
    kormster

    ANt

    I work a full time job and have some side ventures I play around with.
  • Compmend November 05, 2009 09:23:01
    Compmend

    ANt

    One thing that the story doesn't mention is that ants tend to bite and tend to gather in groups to take down grasshoppers who get close to their ant hills.
  • Angelique November 05, 2009 06:57:34
    Angelique

    ANt

    Definitely an ant. But an ant who won't go without a fight!
  • Leo --Name Subject 2 Change-- November 05, 2009 06:30:32
    Leo --Name Subject 2 Change--

    Undecided

    i think i'm an ant. though....this is a real political question isn't it? i'm not sure. as far as i know, i haven't been stepped all over by a slacker.
    though i often feel dissappointed when slackers get better grades than me. or actually do their homework when i didn't. but that's not taking advantage of me. that's just trying to help themselves.
    idk. i would think illegal immigrants are grasshoppers. and bill gates. DX
  • Faith ~American Patriot~ November 05, 2009 06:04:28
    Faith ~American Patriot~

    ANt

    No doubt about it, I am an ant.
    ant doubt ant
  • Freckles November 05, 2009 05:38:24
    Freckles

    ANt

    I am an ant, and I am still ticked off about the American pple who didn't vote and now we are paying for their appathy by having an Organizer for POTUS!!!
  • Artist November 05, 2009 05:26:50
    Artist

    ANt

    Definitely an ant...with guns!
    ant ant guns
  • +1 raves
    Denny November 05, 2009 05:19:27
    Denny

    ANt

    And I'm heading into the sunset
  • Wolfy November 05, 2009 04:28:32
    Wolfy

    None of the above

  • +2 raves
    JT November 05, 2009 04:02:52
    JT

    ANt

    I worked for 44 years so I could retire and live the good life, now we have all this hopey changey crap going on which means everything i worked for to ease my path in old age is going to go to some clown sitting in a recliner smoking dope, shooting up and drinking gin and asking for more. I say hell no, you want what I got, come on over and meet Smith, Wesson and me. clown recliner smoking dope shooting drinking gin meet smith wesson
  • Angelique JT November 05, 2009 06:50:31
    Angelique
    jitcrunch.aspx
  • +2 raves
    brunetbomb November 05, 2009 03:54:24
    brunetbomb

    ANt

    I'm the ant who is tired of supporting the lazy grasshoppers. Soon the grasshopper will be to lazy to hop and want the ant to carry his lazy ass.
  • +1 raves
    Ilee November 05, 2009 03:44:39
    Ilee

    None of the above

    I started out an Ant ~ I was eaten by a Grasshopper & reincarnated as a Bee...
  • Don November 05, 2009 02:43:09
    Don

    Grasshopper

    http://www.dailymotion.com/vi...
  • Howard Beale II November 05, 2009 02:24:32
    Howard Beale II

    None of the above

    "MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010. "

    Hah! A lot of good that will do!
  • +1 raves
    steve Howard ... November 05, 2009 03:44:10
    steve
    Well...you have a choice not to vote to.
  • Howard ... steve November 05, 2009 05:25:11
    Howard Beale II
    Right. And YOU have the choice of doing nothing else other than vote. Who do you think will have the greater impact?
  • +4 raves
    elwood November 05, 2009 02:17:25
    elwood

    None of the above

    I do not admit publicly to being either an ant or grasshopper. I consider myself to be a BEE. I try to stay above it all, being alert to possible predator birds from above(the IRS), swooping in on me. I go about my business and stick with the workers. I don't associate with the queen as I consider that a dangerous association.
    I also don't bow to middle eastern dictators. I take care of my honey and myself. If someone invades my hive, my health care system kicks in, we swarm and sting the invading legislators at the voting booth. I enjoy beeing a free bee. I never take nectar from sources other than natural flowers (I never drink koolaid). I respect the work ethic of the ants, but don't believe in building a home in the lower neighborhoods where illegal grasshoppers can easily move in. koolaid respect work ethic ants building home neighborhoods illegal grasshoppers
  • undiebee elwood November 05, 2009 18:21:51
    undiebee
    That was really a good one!!
  • +2 raves
    Lee The Hybrid Snowflake"Mo... November 05, 2009 02:09:32
    Lee The Hybrid Snowflake

    ANt

    I'm definitely an Ant!
  • Angel Among Us ♥†♥ American Patriot

    ANt

    Most definitely an ant....an old fashioned conservative extremist ant that would love to beat all dependable, needy liberal ants right into the dirt! Guns and all!
  • +2 raves
    Angel November 05, 2009 02:05:52
    Angel

    ANt

    LOL oh my.......great analogy story.....hahaha
    I'm voting all conservative in 2010 .......
  • +2 raves
    i love my boyfriend November 05, 2009 02:03:19
    i love my boyfriend

    ANt

    i hate every body
  • +2 raves
    pamela November 05, 2009 02:02:14
    pamela

    ANt

    Definitely the ant. There are times to play and have fun, even at work sometimes. But when i work hard, it is always well worth it.
  • +2 raves
    wyotech November 05, 2009 01:59:17
    wyotech

    ANt

    Have ALWAYS worked for everything I have.Recieved my first paycheck with taxes withheld when I was 8 yrs old....$1 a day for driving a tractor for 10-12 hrs per day.
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